Friendzone: Two competing definitions of Hell

Forums: Relationships, Friendzone, Male Friends, Female Friends, Different Gender Friendships
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The following several definitions contain two competing definitions to the relationship slang term of friendzone. It's an old concept but it has recently been a heavy handed topic online.

http://www.urbandictionary.com/define.php?term=friendzone

Quote:

friendzone
573 up, 208 down
The seventh level of hell, where despite all and any efforts to the contrary, no member of the opposite sex will ever see you as anything more than conversation.

Usually due to being a minger, though possibly part of an atmosphere of victimisation around one or more people in a social group.

I am stuck in the motherfucking friendzone. Kill me now.

Quote:

friendzone
273 up, 99 down
"Friend zone" describes the way most women stop seeing a male friend as dating material after a certain amount of time has passed, even though she might have begun dating them had he acted differently when they first met.

John meets Mary. Mary thinks "This guy seems nice. He's quite funny and reasonably good looking". John doesn't ask Mary out, but they see each other at social functions. After a while, Mary stops seeing John as a nice guy who is quite funny and reasonably good looking, and just sees him as friend. John realizes he's secretly madly in love with Mary and begins trying to hang out with her more and more. Because John loves Mary, he stops behaving reasonably and starts doing anything just to spend time with her. Eventually, he summons his courage and confesses his love for her. But Mary just feels uncomfortable and confused. She doesn't want to lose her friend and she feels pressured by his feelings for her. To be honest, John's been a little needy and pathetic lately, hanging on her every word and catering to her every whim, and that's not really very sexy.

John had a chance when they first met but he fucked it up by not doing anything about it. When he finally got his act together, the friendship that developed actively interfered with his potential of getting Mary to go on a date with him.

Quote:

friendzone
210 up, 146 down
When you are expected to support a girl you really like while she searches for a smarter, richer, or more handsome boyfriend. There is little you can do to get out without feeling like a dick. All in all, one of the meanest things girls do, whether they mean it or not.

Kayla told me we were just friends when I asked her out. I told her I couldn't bear to see her find someone else so she shouldn't call me again. Saved my ass from the friendzone.

Quote:

Friendzone
181 up, 163 down
Is a misogynistic term used by males who befriend females for the soul purpose of getting in their pants, but are unable to because the female is either uninterested, dating someone already, or has some other reason.

A person who uses this term usual feels victimized because the girl doesn't dish out, and the female is characterized as being the bad guy for not reciprocating his feelings.

Guy 1: For 2 years I've listened to her problems, comforted her, took care of her when she was sick, been her friend...But she still won't dump her douche boyfriend even though I am clearly better for her. I'm stuck in the friendzone

Guy 2: I know that feel bro, girls are bitches sometimes

If a man comes forward and tries to romantically proposition a female friend is he in the wrong if...:
a. If he was first a sincere friend and then developed romantic feelings for his female friend?
b. If he lied and manipulated the friendship in order to get in a better position to become romantically involved with his female friend?

If a woman comes forward and tries to romantically proposition a male friend is she in the wrong if...:
a. If she was first a sincere friend and then developed romantic feelings for her male friend?
b. If she lied and manipulated the friendship in order to get in a better position to become romantically involved with her male friend?

I'm adding the obviously loaded gun B questions as the second **negative/cynical** that's recently hit its ugly popularity online indicates that most men who claimed to have been victims of the friendzone were never sincere in the first place regarding their friendship.

I will bring out a full disclaimer of my views on the subject ... soon but clearly I'm biased against the highly cynical uprising against the label.

MORE READING MATERIAL: I'm in the process of reading this long article so I can't vouch for what angle/side its on or its bias and target audience.
http://www.reddit.com/r/TwoXChromosomes/comments/o01v8/what_i_think_when_someone_talks_about_friendzoning/c3denue

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Type: Discussion • Score: 11 • Views: 3,615 • Replies: 27

@tsarstepan,

I haven't read the stuff in red yet but roll my eyes at all the first takes, so mechanistic.

1 Reply

As far as I can remember, it is extremely difficult for a male and female of roughly the same age to maintain a 'friendship' where the both keep the same expectations, particularly if they lie and/or work in close proximity. Eventually, one will hope for more than the other is willing to provide.

1 Reply

@ossobuco,

ossobuco wrote:

I haven't read the stuff in red yet but roll my eyes at all the first takes, so mechanistic.

I'm not really sure what you mean here but it sounds you're on the cynical team.

0 Replies

@neologist,

Heh Heh. I meant live and or work. . .

1 Reply

It's all about balance, isn't it? Why are you so surprised about this?

When one person's feelings are not in balance with the other's, then conflict will happen.

I think it's really about REJECTION and the ability to handle that.

1 Reply

@PUNKEY,

Of course it's about rejection but it's also about wrongly accusing someone of faking an entire friendship in order to merely have a sexual relationship. Talk about dismissive cynicism at its worst.

Not all men are monstrous wolves who are constantly on the prowl for a long con game. Aren't most letches unwilling to put that much effort (months and perhaps years) into a friendship with little possibility of that kind of reward?

1 Reply

@neologist,

neologist wrote:

Heh Heh. I meant live and or work. . .

Ha! Freudian slip???

1 Reply

@margo,

margo wrote:

neologist wrote:
Heh Heh. I meant live and or work. . .

Ha! Freudian slip???

What if Freud did wear a slip?

1 Reply

@neologist,

If Freud did wear a slip, it actually just might give his work more credibility. Wink

0 Replies

@tsarstepan,

tsarstepan wrote:

Aren't most letches unwilling to put that much effort (months and perhaps years) into a friendship with little possibility of that kind of reward?

I think that it's not that much work for them - and they rarely have only one of these hopefully-more-than-a-friendship-someday relationships. The ones I've watched usually had a couple on the go, hoping that at least one of them will pan out. In the meantime they've got friends to hang out with.

0 Replies

@tsarstepan,

I think you've been playing with the urban dictionary a bit too much.

1 Reply

@farmerman,

Guilty as charged. Confused

1 Reply

@tsarstepan,

Steve Stifler @SteveStfler wrote:

37m
"We can still be friends" is like saying "Hey, the dog died but we can keep it."

0 Replies

http://s3-ec.buzzfed.com/static/2013-12/enhanced/webdr06/20/13/anigif_original-grid-image-23996-1387563212-20.gif

http://s3-ec.buzzfed.com/static/2013-12/enhanced/webdr05/20/13/grid-cell-25208-1387564696-29.jpg

Quote:

Friend Zone Burn

11 Millennial Diseases That Are Completely Legitimate And Real
Oh, the agony! Twentysomethings have it rough, guys. Don’t worry — whatever the ailment may be, Oscar will make health insurance painless.
http://www.buzzfeed.com/oscarhealth/11-millennial-diseases-that-are-completely-legitimate-and-re

0 Replies

http://static.tapastic.com/cartoons/4c/08/a2/c4/574e3b9084034343a95ca6d88e007a3c.jpg

http://tapastic.com/episode/28957

0 Replies

http://s3-ec.buzzfed.com/static/2014-03/enhanced/webdr06/31/16/enhanced-10842-1396297774-1.jpg

http://www.buzzfeed.com/jenlewis/if-disney-movies-were-written-for-twentysomethings

1 Reply

@tsarstepan,

So, what is the symbolism of the empty holster?

1 Reply

@roger,

If I can channel my innerHawkeye: Increasing women's rights mean emasculating all men. The empty holster means men have become impotent because women are taking over the world (by allowing rape to be considered illegal; allowing women to own property and vote; etc...) with their all-powerful feminist agenda.

2 Replies

@tsarstepan,

Oh, I knew that. It was kind of a rhetorical question.

0 Replies

Friendzone: Two competing definitions of Hell

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