@Roberts-USN,
Quit bringing so many damned gifts.
They are not appreciated anyway, so stop.
I am going to go out on a limb and assume that you don't get thanked, or begrudgingly.
So stop already. This is not working. And your wife is right; you are enabling things.
Invite them over. Not an event, just, we'd love to have you over. Get in your quality time. Tell them, when they are at your home, that it's a lot of work to do all that traveling. So you would like to host them more often. And do it - again, without gifts unless it is some major occasion (e. g. birthday probably yes, graduation from day care, no).
There are probably going to be times when they don't come. Then interact with your middle daughter or anyone who does. You are not singling her out if that happens, by the way - it happens because of the actions of the others.