Lesbian friend crossing the 'line'

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I am a heterosexual female, married... just for background... and I have a friend who used to be straight, but now is a lesbian. I didn't have any problem with that at all, but lately she's been crossing the line...

When she calls, she says, "Hey, you sexy thing!"
She wants to take photos of me, some nude.
She wanted to do my make-up, hair, and clothes (which seemed immature, since we're close to 30 yrs old)
She talks about she and her girlfriend having sex... not my ideal conversation topic

I'll be honest here... I'm a little bothered, considering the fact that I wouldn't let a guy get away with all of that.

I'd love to hear opinions, thanks Smile

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Tell her, gently, to back off. It's the same kind of harrassment that you wouldn't take from a male, and you have said so in your post.

I take it you value your friendship, so try to be understanding. She's just discovered that there's a whole new world out there, out of the closet. She's trying to share this wonderful thing with an old friend. Tell her it's not your cup of tea...

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How in the world could I say that? I can't say that I really value our friendship. She's just someone I've known for a while. I can't say that I haven't thought about just backing off from her completely.

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"Agape, not Eros, please..."

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BlueTime - Then there really IS no problem, if you don't care about your friendship. Just tell her you are not interested, and make yoursself unavailable from now on.

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Thanks, phoenix. I guess I was was just stuck in the thought that I should be open and accepting of homosexuals... but I just don't care anymore. If someone creeps me out, I'm not going to hang around.

Oh well. Thanks Smile

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BlueTime- That is what the problem is with being "politically correct". Where is it written that we have to accept boorishness and harassment from people just BECAUSE they are gay?

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I'm all for gays having the same rights and being treated the same as straight people. I am straight and have never had a friend that was a lesbian. I have no desire to be in a friendship with a lesbian. We certainly wouldn't share the same interests!

About 25 years ago I was in a close friendship with a gay guy. He was wonderful! We had so much fun clubbing together, shopping, dining out. Then he moved to Florida about 15 years ago. We keep in touch, but it isn't the same as his being here.

Blue Time, I think you're right to get away from your lesbian friend. If you stick around, before you know it, she'll have you wearing plaid flannel shirts, dungarees, a chain wallet and carrying a jug of maple syrup!

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Re: Lesbian friend crossing the 'line'
...

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Maple syrup????

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Great points, paulaj. If you have been so concerned about being open and accepting etc., BlueTime, perhaps you just haven't given your friend the information she needs to change her ways. Not really fair of you to go from zero to 60 -- friends to never want to see her again -- if you haven't told her that this bothers you and given her a chance to adjust.

If you really don't even want to be friends at all, well, that's your perogative.

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Ceili wrote:

Maple syrup????

LOL....I was making reference to Vermont.

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Quote:

I'm all for gays having the same rights and being treated the same as straight people. I am straight and have never had a friend that was a lesbian. I have no desire to be in a friendship with a lesbian. We certainly wouldn't share the same interests!

Doglove in spite of your dear, gay, geographically removed friend, you sound a bit prejudiced to me.

Blue Time is trying to deal with passes from a friend who has just come out of the closet. She's not writing off 5% of the human race. You are.

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<nods>

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Noddy24 wrote:

Quote:
I'm all for gays having the same rights and being treated the same as straight people. I am straight and have never had a friend that was a lesbian. I have no desire to be in a friendship with a lesbian. We certainly wouldn't share the same interests!

Doglover in spite of your dear, gay, geographically removed friend, you sound a bit prejudiced to me.

Blue Time is trying to deal with passes from a friend who has just come out of the closet. She's not writing off 5% of the human race. You are.

Noddy...I was just having fun. It seems to me that people are so uptight these days you can't make a joke less you be called prejudiced. What is this....you think gay people are so fragile they can't laugh at themselves? I give gay people more credit than that.

Remember the comedian Don Rickles? He was great! He made fun of everybody. His kind of humor would never be tolerated today and I think that's a shame.

As for Blue Time dealing with passes from a friend, I don't think it matters so much that her friend is gay as it is her friend is a jerk. I think BT should deal with this friend the same as if that friend were a male and made a pass at her.

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Doglover--

Successful irony is in the eye of the beholder. Obviously you and I focus very differently.

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Well, the funny thing is... when these things have happened, I thought my gut reaction of being annoyed was too harsh, and I suppressed it. I'm not a very social person, and I wasn't sure if I'd come off as a prude or not. Now that I have a list of things, I find it hard to bring it up. I feel like I've missed my opening.

As for someone deciding that they aren't interested in being friends with a homosexual person... that's their right. There are certain kinds of people I avoid, too.

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If this person is a "FRIEND" then just tell her your feelings. If she is not a friend then let her deal with it.

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The next time she says something that weirds you out, just tell her that makes you very uncomfortable and ask her to stop. If she's really a friend, she'll back off.

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BlueTime, what is it that you plan to do if you don't bring it up with her?

I think the fact that you are ready to cut of ties is the perfect opening. "I am really uncomfortable when you ____, to the point where I don't want to spend time with you anymore. But I realized that I'd never actually talked with you about it -- I apologize for that, and would like to talk to you about it now."

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Lesbian friend crossing the 'line'

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