We STILL can't call him names on here, can we?
Damn, damn, damn.
I can't think of anything to say that adequately expresses my response without resorting to name-calling..........tap...tap...tap..........but I'm working on it.
The only thing I have to add here Matt is to think about the situation if the roles were reversed. What if it were you who worked and she stayed at home and had these affairs? What if it were her who was unhappy and unsatisfied and constantly harping on you for taking care of the kids? I'm guessing that you wouldn't like that a whole lot, because, frankly, who would?
To Matt -
Ode to a Bumbling Bee
The bumble bee is such a busy soul
He has no time for birth control
That's why in times like these
There's there are so many
Sons of Bees?
I think you're on to something, guys. So without further ado, I give you...
_____________________________________________________________
WHY I DON'T LOVE MY HUSBAND ANY MORE
I have been with Matt for a total of 15 years. After 11 years of living together, we finally got married four years ago around the time I got pregnant with the first of our two children.
I work days while Matt stays home with the kids, then he works evenings while I'm home with them. He chose to do this, but now he's complaining that he's getting tired of taking care of them. Well, I work all day and take care of them all evening, and I'm tired, too!
Matt is going through another one of his "crises." He's cheating on me again. He's done this before. Every time he starts feeling weighed down by his responsibilities, he cheats. He's like a little boy who hasn't grown up. Would you believe he even cheated on me when I was pregnant the first time?! God knows I should have left him the first time he did this, before we had kids. Now I wish I had.
This time he's sleeping with a woman he met at work. When I found out about it, I called the woman's husband. We met for lunch, and I told him all about Matt and his wife. He wasn't surprised. Said he'd suspected as much. I felt so sorry for him. They've only been married for a year, and already she's fooling around. I knew just how he felt. But I can't understand why she would cheat on him...he was very good looking! Thinner and better looking than Matt (who I haven't found attractive in years...how can you be attracted to someone who treats you like dirt?) and he's about nine years younger, too! I've never done this before, but something snapped inside me and I suggested we start seeing each other. It's really nice to be around someone who doesn't take you for granted all the time and complain about your weight. Now he wants us both to get divorces so we can be together all the time. I'm giving serious thought to this, because if we got divorced, Matt would have the kids at least every other weekend and lots of holidays, when I'd be completely free to spend time with this guy, who says he adores me and treats me like a queen.
I feel like I deserve better than Matt, and I can't see my life with him getting any better. He admits he is completely unmotivated to try, to listen and to change the way he is. He's tried counseling and has even seen a psychologist, but it hasn't made him a better person. I've stopped asking him how he feels about things, because I really don't care anymore. All he does is complain and then he cheats on me. I know that if he really loved me, he wouldn't treat me like this.
ELAINE
Take it easy guys. This post was as honest as any I've ever seen.
mutityahoo: You are obviously cut out to be single. Take steps to get that way and stay that way.
The guy could have been telling us about his bad case of diarrhea and been heart-wrenchingly honest, Bill, but it still would've been sh*t.
There is an old Jewish joke that goes something like this:
An elderly couple who were married for over 50 years file for divorce. When asked why, after such a history, they wanted to separate? They say "We were waiting for the children to die."
Point: Don't stay together "for the kids", it will only hurt them in the end. As long as you continue to be a part of your children's lives, Matt, it might just be best to divorce now. The kids are young, and will grow up to understand, hopefully, if you don't shirk your responsibility.
I hear you Eva, but this guy doesn't seem to have any trouble recognizing his moral shortcomings... Bash him all you like... it is obviously well deserved. If there is an important message to convey however, it is: GET OUT OF THE SITUATION THAT DOESN'T SUIT YOU. He might make a fine weekend Dad despite being a selfish slut. Obtaining a lifestyle more appropriate for one of his morality would be an improvement for all concerned. Don't you agree?
P.S. What was God thinking, giving someone like this kids? (shaking head)
Why could you not figure this out before bringing two children into your nightmare? I am with the rest, get out, she deserves better. After you leave, you may see how you really feel, if you can get past the selfishness. I learned that lesson and let me tell you, it is a tough one to swallow.
I would do anything to go back and fix the problems in my marriage. If we learned to talk to each other we could have solved a lot of problems.
I feel I need to say a little this or that about weight here. We on a2k are poised on a spectrum of weights for our genders, heights, ages, bone structures, and so on. Some of us have had a range of weights ourselves. I used to run and swim and was thin, and then I went to school full time and worked full time, at the same time, and ate too many doughnuts, and grew in girth, and then I slimmed down and then I got heavier, and now I am sorta chunky. I am the same person. Sometimes this gets complicated, as people find comfort in food when the person they have set out with for life no longer seem to be interested in them, or when work is going south.
Marriage isn't only for models.
I suspect we are all talking to ourselves here, but this is an interesting thread; I have rarely seen such spontaneous anger re a new poster's words at a2k. I don't think we should suspend our general courtesy for this poster.
He may not have a lot of experience, for whatever original reason - perhaps no role model - in being a friend as well as official husband of his wife. That is probably hard to get back to at this point, but who knows. I guess I agree with all that it would probably be better for Elaine and children to move along with just adjudicated support from our poster, muti, but I am sorry for her and the children, and I am actually sorry for muti, re a future learning curve.
Good points, Osso; they won't change my opinion of him, but I admit that I appreciate your level-headed consideration of this post.
Personally, his shallowness seems engrained to me.
If I tell her the truth I know that will be the end
Well I just found out the TRUTH
THE END
Elaine
Did she? How did she react?
Your subject line is 'If I tell her the truth I know that will be the end.'
If you don't love her any more, which is clear to see in your blatant infidelity, why should you care? I sense that you're possesive over her even when you feel nothing for her: that's unhealthy, dear.
Was that Elaine posting?
I wonder if Matt talked to her, or if she found this thread on his computer....?
No, that wasn't her, that was him. I can tell these things: the give-away sign is that his title was 'If I tell her the truth I know that will be the end,' a title he himself chose..
I saw that in the title, too. But I thought she had read the thread and picked it out of his post and replied to it in her post by saying, "THE END." Doesn't the "Elaine" at the end look like a signature to you?
