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Girls/ladies, would it bother you if your boyfriend was physically weaker than your son?

 
 
Reply Mon 1 Apr, 2013 02:33 pm
My 12 year old son beat my 30 year old boyfriend in wrestling, and my bf has acted strange around me ever since. My 12 year old son is 105lbs and 5“0 and my boyfriend is 160ish and 5’10”
 
PUNKEY
 
  0  
Reply Mon 1 Apr, 2013 02:36 pm
What do you mean "acting strange."

BTW - A wrestling match is no way to measure physical strength.
roger
 
  3  
Reply Mon 1 Apr, 2013 04:46 pm
@dragon8052,
If you pick your boyfriends on the basis of which would provide the most companionable evening of arm wrestling, you're darn right it should bother you.

PS: He may not have wanted to beat your 12 year old son.
0 Replies
 
amy37
 
  1  
Reply Tue 2 Apr, 2013 01:01 pm
@dragon8052,
I doubt your 160lb bf was trying. He was probably holding back because he didn't want to introduce violence into the relationship dynamics.

I think he was only acting weird because the fighting issue wasn't resolved between the two of them, or because he thinks you're on his side (your sons) or that the fight could effect your relationship with him. Honestly if I were in his shoes I would be a little weirded out too.
joefromchicago
 
  2  
Reply Tue 2 Apr, 2013 01:12 pm
I have wrestled many twelve-year-olds in my time, but the only thing I got out of it was a couple of restraining orders and a rather firm letter telling me that I am no longer allowed in Denny's. Your boyfriend sounds like he got off easy.
contrex
 
  1  
Reply Tue 2 Apr, 2013 01:52 pm
@joefromchicago,
joefromchicago wrote:
I have wrestled many twelve-year-olds in my time


I knocked a 12 year old down once, then kicked him in the nuts and head. He ended up crying. Mind you, I was 11 at the time, and he had just kicked me in the nuts.
0 Replies
 
dragon8052
 
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Reply Tue 2 Apr, 2013 04:08 pm
@amy37,
Hi Amy,
Actually, Amy it was a competitive wrestling match and both were giving it their all. The boy has a strong upperbody and knows how to wrestle. Strength isn't entirely based on someones size and age.
0 Replies
 
dragon8052
 
  -1  
Reply Tue 2 Apr, 2013 04:10 pm
@joefromchicago,
Hi Joe,
Your comment is completely ignorant. Its wrestling, something even the Olympic committee doesn't understand anymore. And there's nothing wrong with a 12 year old wrestling competitively with an adult he, his parent knows. Wrestling is a sport, a way friends and family bond, not street brawl as people in the U.S and UK would so quickly assume.
dragon8052
 
  0  
Reply Tue 2 Apr, 2013 04:13 pm
@PUNKEY,
Wrestling is a measure of both physical strength and endurance as well as technique, center of gravity and a whole a lot of other elements. And by no means is the person weaker just because he is smaller and younger. Check out wrestlers and gymnast. They all stronger than their average size and age.
Ice Demon
 
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Reply Tue 2 Apr, 2013 04:23 pm
@dragon8052,
Learn to take a joke, will ya? Or it makes you look like an ignorant tool other wise. Razz
0 Replies
 
joefromchicago
 
  1  
Reply Wed 3 Apr, 2013 07:54 am
@dragon8052,
dragon8052 wrote:

Hi Joe,
Your comment is completely ignorant.

I can't deny that.
0 Replies
 
vikorr
 
  3  
Reply Wed 3 Apr, 2013 04:24 pm
@dragon8052,
I'm still guessing it wasn't about physical strength....but that aside...

The outcome very obviously bothers you.

You obviously don't think he let your son beat him.

You obviously think your son is stronger than him.

...if I let let a boy beat me, and the his mother jumped to the immediate conclusion that her son was stronger than me...and she didn't listen to hints that 'uh, are you crazy - I let him beat me' ...I'd also start acting differently around you to the norm we had. No guy likes it when his woman shows disrepect for him. (now that's just a scenario - it may or may not have happened that way)

You also note that there are several other factors in wrestling other than strength...so while you phrase it as a strength issue - it's the fact that your son apparently won with 'strength' that has you upset.

So why do you need validation from others regarding your feelings on this matter?
glitterbag
 
  0  
Reply Wed 3 Apr, 2013 06:35 pm
@vikorr,
It would creep me out if my boyfriend thought it was alright to wrestle with a 12 year old boy. The hairs always went up on the back of my neck when men or women showed too much interest in my son.
vikorr
 
  2  
Reply Wed 3 Apr, 2013 08:29 pm
@glitterbag,
Well, the original poster is obviously referring to a formal form of wrestling. It could be that her son does wrestling for a sport, for she seems to know the requirements for it. And it could be that her husband has offered to be used as a guinea pig for the training techniques that her son learns.

Whatever the case - it doesn't creep her out, so I don't see the point of your post.
0 Replies
 
dragon8052
 
  0  
Reply Thu 4 Apr, 2013 07:11 am
@glitterbag,
That's just stupid. There's nothing wrong with fathers, brothers, sisters, uncles, boyfriends, etc...wrestling with their younger relatives or even their girlfiends or boyfriends son. ITS WRESTLING, a sport, an activity so misunderstood by people in the United States and the United Kingdom, where ignorance is bliss. I'm sorry, but your comment is completely absurd. I think you and most people in those two countries need an understanding of wrestling before drawing such conclusion. A) its not porn. B) its not WWE or any of those other entertainment shows. Its wrestling.
0 Replies
 
dragon8052
 
  0  
Reply Thu 4 Apr, 2013 07:18 am
@vikorr,
Finally, a response with some reasoning, although I don't completely agree. Strength isn't based solely on size and age. My son is stronger than his average age and size, naturally and because he wrestles. Gymnast are also strong in that way. I'm on here, because I wanted to know others opinions or maybe someone else has the same experience. And yes, the wrestling was about physical strength as well as experience. People pretend someone smaller and younger can't be capable of being stronger. Its not all based on age and size. That's I think is silly.
0 Replies
 
dragon8052
 
  -1  
Reply Thu 4 Apr, 2013 08:15 am
Please, no "wrestling is creepy" "perverted" "I kicked the crap out of so and so" That has nothing to do with my question, nothing to do with wrestling. If you don't understand wrestling or the question please pass the question up. Thnx.
engineer
 
  3  
Reply Thu 4 Apr, 2013 08:31 am
@dragon8052,
Ok to your question. Let's say your bf and your son both tried their best and your son won. By your own reasoning, that does not mean your bf is physically weaker if your son has better technique and is a trained wrestler. Is it possible that your bf feels that he has lost status in your eyes? Yes, guys are like that. Has he lost status in your eyes? Only you can answer that, but based on your question, I think he probably has. Can you make the situation better? Sure. It would be easy enough to talk about how your son has learned all sorts of techniques to allow him to overcome larger, stronger opponents allowing your bf to see himself as larger and stronger but less skilled even if this isn't the case.
dragon8052
 
  1  
Reply Thu 4 Apr, 2013 08:49 am
@engineer,
Nice reply engineer. I'm not any less attracted to my bf. And my son is stronger than his average size and age group. I thought my bf may have been bothered by it, whether my son is indeed stronger as well a better wrestler. Then there's center of gravity and speed. But my bf, although in good shape isn't very strong, so my actually be weaker than even a kid of my son's age who is in such athletics.
engineer
 
  1  
Reply Thu 4 Apr, 2013 09:28 am
@dragon8052,
That you believe your bf may be weaker than your son is not going to make your bf feel very good. No man in his late 20's or 30's is going to like being thought of as weaker than a 12 year old a third smaller than him, even if the child is extraordinary. At this point you can either ignore it, go on an active campaign to stroke your bf's ego (not too hard since you can honestly compliment him on being in good shape) or tell a little white lie to give him some room to save face. On a related topic, the alpha male dynamic between your bf and your son may be damaged by all of this. If you want your son to see your bf as an adult role model/authority figure, that may be less likely now. The male pecking order in middle school is often based on size and strength and in your son's eyes, he's the man.
 

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