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Girls/ladies, would it bother you if your boyfriend was physically weaker than your son?

 
 
dragon8052
 
  0  
Reply Thu 4 Apr, 2013 09:57 am
@engineer,
My son and bf are great friends, get a long fine. So its not that serious. I was just wondering my bf was acting strange as a result of being out muscles and out wrestled by a boy. Maybe it was just me. He should be proud of my son right. I know I am!
vikorr
 
  2  
Reply Thu 4 Apr, 2013 03:46 pm
@dragon8052,
Hello again - I daresay this last reply of yours is likely to be the centre of the issue regarding his changed behaviour.

See some of Engineers previous replies. If it isn't clear - most adult males would consider it shameful to be beaten by the strength of a 12 year old boy 2/3 his size. Most other adult males would never let that guy forget it if they found out about it (the incident could quite seriously be brought up for years by others).

And not being his biological son - your husband doesn't have the out of boasting about his sons ever improving technique (other guys will jump on the truth of the matter rather quickly - usually completely ignoring anything to do with technique) "So your wife's boy beat you did he? How old did you say he was? And about so high, right <the other guy makes a motion shorter than your son actually is>? The story they then would tell to their colleagues would be hilarious, but not at all flattering to your husband.

Have you by chance been telling your friends the outcome? (I would very much hope not)

And in any case, while you say you aren't any less attracted to him (your original title does somewhat suggest otherwise by the way) - it is likely he sense of loss, combined with the pride you display in your eyes (for your son) around him (your husband)...leads him to believe he has truly lost status, not just in his own eyes, but in yours, and possibly in the eyes of your son.
0 Replies
 
FOUND SOUL
 
  3  
Reply Thu 4 Apr, 2013 04:01 pm
@dragon8052,
Quote:
My son and bf are great friends, get a long fine. So its not that serious. I was just wondering my bf was acting strange as a result of being out muscles and out wrestled by a boy. Maybe it was just me. He should be proud of my son right. I know I am!


"My son"..... I'd be proud of "my son" if he beat someone his age, in a competition or with simular strength...

The fact that you are proud of what occured, suggests that you made that very clear to your boyfriend, that your boyfriend is weak, that your boyfriend tried his best but lost..... Everyone has feelings, some egos.

My guess is it's the way you handled the situation, not in light, but showing how proud you were of "your son" consequently making your boyfriend feel quite well, weak...

Instead of laughing it off, saying nothing, thinking your thoughts to yourself and therefore, not making your boyfriend feel in-adequate....

Sometimes we have to shut up.....................
dragon8052
 
  1  
Reply Thu 4 Apr, 2013 05:33 pm
@FOUND SOUL,
Well, thanks for the info. You must have a loving boyfriend, huh?

You make solid points, as I may have given too much gratitude to my son for winning, but he earned it.
PUNKEY
 
  1  
Reply Thu 4 Apr, 2013 07:20 pm
@dragon8052,
I think your BF let your son win and he is confused or taken aback that you don't see that.

Instead, you brag too much about something that may not even be real.
FOUND SOUL
 
  1  
Reply Thu 4 Apr, 2013 09:00 pm
@dragon8052,
I believe in ensuring that my "partner" feels adequate, equal and understand even men have emotions. Why belittle? Who wins ? No one.

I don't disregard that you want to show gratitude to you son, sometimes a smile is enough... If you are close enough, he would feel it.. I don't think you have to pat someone on the back if it means you are putting someone else down that you "love"... that just doesn't make sense to me.

My "partner" treats me the same way, as I treat him and he wouldn't be my partner if I didn't love him, nor him me... So I guess the answer is yes.......
0 Replies
 
roger
 
  1  
Reply Thu 4 Apr, 2013 09:01 pm
@PUNKEY,
I'm wondering if the smugness has been taught to the twelve year old.
glitterbag
 
  -1  
Reply Thu 4 Apr, 2013 09:51 pm
@roger,
I'm thinking dragon should present her faux problem to invitees only. Why do you suppose she choose the phrase "I've heaped gratitude on the 12 year old". I paraphrased like crazy, because this situation is still creeping me out, but now it's mommy dearest who has me concerned.
0 Replies
 
dragon8052
 
  1  
Reply Sat 6 Apr, 2013 07:06 am
@PUNKEY,
Its real. He beat him. My boyfriends face was read, he struggled. My son is a wrestler and strong for his size and age, so its not far fetch at all. I was there, and I have no problem distinguishing from what's and what isn't.
0 Replies
 
dragon8052
 
  1  
Reply Sat 6 Apr, 2013 07:10 am
Please, only comments relevant to the question, no insults, throwing rude remarks. If you don't like or understand the question please pass it up.
Ice Demon
 
  2  
Reply Sat 6 Apr, 2013 11:09 am
@dragon8052,
I hope you're not ugly inside as you're outside.
Now that I've done contrary to what you said, what are you gonna do? Are you gonna send your son to wrestle and beat me, Jocasta? Razz
0 Replies
 
vikorr
 
  2  
Reply Sat 6 Apr, 2013 01:06 pm
@dragon8052,
I think a number of people here are interpretting your comments as callousness.

Everyone expects that you will have pride at your sons progress.

It's the reaction to your husbands situation that is rather bemusing...in relation to peoples posts regarding his situation - you show no understanding at all, instead defending your right to raise one person up (your son - while noting above) at the expense of another (your husband) - which does not need to happen. It's quite possible to praise someone without putting the other person down, even while your pride stems from the outcome of a competition between the two.
0 Replies
 
 

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