Is she out of my league?

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I’m a man that’s met a girl that seems really interested in me. We see each other at some evening lessons. She asked me out for a beer last week and said right to my face that she found me sexy. It seems like she is flirting with me. But it puzzles me.

I’m not handsome, I’ve got an unattractive face, I’m obese, bald, 10-13 years her senior (35). I don’t have money issues, but I earn less than average. So she’s not after my money. This girl is very attractive. She is also really smart and got a nice personality. I’m writhing this because it is true my judgment is not clouded by love. I am attracted to her and like her, but I got no feelings outside that.

I would think that she could get any man she wants. What do she want with me? I’m known to be funny and I’m quite intelligent. But it must be said that we have good conversations and chare the interest for philosophy and sci-fi and are both very anti-religious. But I don’t really get it? I don’t want to make a move, because it would be so awkward if I just misread her intension. I don’t want to seem like a pervert.

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@ThatNerd,

ThatNerd wrote:

This girl is very attractive. She is also really smart and got a nice personality. I would think that she could get any man she wants. What do she want with me?

This, probably:

Quote:

I’m known to be funny and I’m quite intelligent. But it must be said that we have good conversations and chare the interest for philosophy and sci-fi and are both very anti-religious.

You are also attractively modest and not at all pushy:

Quote:

But I don’t really get it? I don’t want to make a move, because it would be so awkward if I just misread her intension. I don’t want to seem like a pervert.

These are all qualities that intelligent girls really value. You seem to be a little shy and possibly not annoyingly over-confident like some other guys, which is probably why she...

Quote:

...asked me out for a beer last week and said right to my face that she found me sexy.

She has spelled it out for you really clearly. Women don't do that by accident. It sounds to me like she is making it quite plain that she likes you.
Stop this "my league" thinking - that's for shallow people, and it sounds like neither of you are like that. If you would like to date her, you should definitely ask her out. Soon. Very soon. Before the boat sails. She sounds really nice. Good luck.

1 Reply

@ThatNerd,

For a lot of women including me, funny and intelligent men who are good conversationalists, share interests, and, to boot, are not religious - look pretty damned good.

(Don't worry, I'm twice your age)

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@ThatNerd,

I'd rather go out with you ThatNerd than someone who is all about appearances and full of himself.

Don't sell her short by assuming she wants someone other than you because you consider her attractive.

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@contrex,

Thank you for the positive responses. I know that looks isn't all. But the age gap and all. Could it work? Is it worth the risk?
A girl like her have never showed interest. Actually, I've never even been asked out before.

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@ThatNerd,

The age gap is not too big, anyway you might benefit from a young, lively intelligent girlfriend. She'd keep you young. You have nothing to lose by trying. That is the fundamental point I am making.

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@ThatNerd,

a girl like her is more likely to be interested in casual sex.

are you up for that?

(the only ones out of your league are the ones you think are out of your league...)

3 Replies

@ThatNerd,

ThatNerd wrote:

She asked me out for a beer last week and said right to my face that she found me sexy. intension.

I don't understand the question.

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@Rockhead,

True.
Sometimes people are open to either, and this might be a person with interest in more than that this time. Or not.
Hard to figure from here, but it does seem she likes him as a person and finds him sexy too.
On balding men - I once had a wild crush on a near bald man, oh gads. I think bald men's worry about it is off base, but that's just me.

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@Rockhead,

Rockhead wrote:

a girl like her is more likely to be interested in casual sex.

are you up for that?

(the only ones out of your league are the ones you think are out of your league...)

A girl like her?

What are you saying?

That attractive women engage in, or desire casual sex more than average or unattractive ones?

What kind of girl IS she? Apparently one who enjoys a lot of the same things as the OP.

1 Reply

@chai2,

a much younger woman bold enough to step right up and tell him he's sexy.

I'm just working with the info given...

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@ThatNerd,

If she is 25 - 28, she has more than likely had her fair share of what you deem to be the "good looking guy" who more than likey treated her like a handbag and nothing else.

Having said that, alot of good looking guys get used as well, by women...

People are attracted to people... Something about a person that stands out, it does not have to be looks.

She's mature. She knows what she wants out of a person and the importance of good communication, fun, laughter, intelligence and simular values, who can stand on their own two feet financially... It's those qualities that are sexy........

1 Reply

@Rockhead,

Actually, I think you are right, Rockhead. It is more likely that she will be interested in causal sex. She have said that she is going to move in the autumn. She even mention that she was very happy being single and did not look for a boyfriend. But she have been physical with me, like touching my arm and so on. But for me it seems even stranger. I don't see anything wrong in casual sex. But I would think that you seek something else in that kind of relationship than you do in a steady one. I got the impression that when it comes to sex (and only sex) the women are as superficial as men. I see my positive sides as a plus when it comes to friendship and relationships, but not as something that would make me more sexual appealing.

By the way: I may seem insecure but in real life I'm not. It's just that in here I got the opportunity to ask someone and I take advantage of that opportunity.

1 Reply

@ThatNerd,

as Chai said, some women find things other than looks appealing...

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@FOUND SOUL,

She is not 25-28, more like 22-25... And she don't seem very mature. Not childish or dumb, but not mature either. She seems inexperienced. But, yes, she gets attention from handsome guys. In the evening course there are always a good looking guy sitting next to her or talking to her in the breaks.

1 Reply

@ThatNerd,

You go with the flow. If you question everything that comes your way in life, you'll cloud the judgement. You are not looking at her as your future wife, well I hope not at this early stage. As long as no one gets hurt, going with the flow and enjoying each (good thing) that happens in life, can only be a good thing....

0 Replies

Casual sex with someone you can talk about philosophy and sci-fi afterwards.

Invite her (wait. Clean your apartment really well first) for another beer.
Talk.
Invite her at the end of a couple of hours back to your place.

Be good and strong and loving and a little funny all through the sex.

Who cares if a deal like that only lasts a few years?

Joe(or forty five)Nation

1 Reply

I've always wondered why some of my peers go out with guys 10 to 20 years older than them. For me the limit is 5 years.
I wonder if it's because we get "ugly" and fat faster than men, or if such women might have father issues. I haven't figured it out really.

Is she out of my league?

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