Lola at the Coffee House

@Lola,

I agree. Im distinguishing his "darker" works as those that were written in his last decade of life. He wrote Huck Finn in the 1880's? (I think).
gilded age was a collaboration that didnt impress me either.

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@roger,

Quote:

The Gilded Age was informative, but not pleasant reading.

As a generalization, I suppose it's true.

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@Lola,

I was fascinated by "The Cakewalk", as a specification.

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@farmerman,

Quote:

Im distinguishing his "darker" works as those that were written in his last decade of life

Yes, in The Mysterious Stranger and Letters from the Earth he challenged religion and just about every other convention known to man. He may have been cynical, but never lost his sense of humor.

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@roger,

Quote:

I was fascinated by "The Cakewalk", as a specification.

"The Cakewalk" the SNL of the Guilded Age.

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I highly recommend the collection A Pen Warmed up in Hell.

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@farmerman,

Quote:

"Climate is what we espect but weather is what we get"

Henry VIII.

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@farmerman,

Didja ever read Twain's 1601?

As I remember it, it might be even shorter...and funnier. And it is built around a great fart joke.

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@Setanta,

Quote:

I highly recommend the collection A Pen Warmed up in Hell.

Frank Apisa:

Quote:

Didja ever read Twain's 1601?

Spendius:

Quote:

Henry VIII

I have them all on my book shelf. I'll check them out. Thanks.

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@Lola,

You can read 1601 on line in about 5 minutes.

Funny as hell...about Queen Elizabeth's reaction to Walter Raleigh's farts!

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@Frank Apisa,

Frank Apisa wrote:

You can read 1601 on line in about 5 minutes.

Funny as hell...about Queen Elizabeth's reaction to Walter Raleigh's farts!

It's wrong though, it wasn't Raleigh at all, but the Earl of Oxford.

Quote:

She could be forgiving too. John Aubrey, the diarist, tells a story about the Earl of Oxford. When the Earl made a low obeisance to the Queen, he happened to let go a fart, at which he was so ashamed that he left the country for 7 years. At his return the Queen welcomed him and said, "My lord, I had forgot the fart"!

http://www.historic-uk.com/HistoryUK/HistoryofEngland/Queen-Elizabeth-I/

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@izzythepush,

But Raleigh took credit for it...albeit in a strange way. After questioning everyone about the loud, stinking fart, the Queen turned to Raleigh:

Quote:

[Then was there a silence, and each did turn him toward the worshipful Sr Walter Ralegh, that browned, embattled, bloody swashbuckler, who rising up did smile, and simpering say,]
Sr W.—Most gracious maisty, 'twas I that did it, but indeed it was so poor and frail a note, compared with such as I am wont to furnish, yt in sooth I was ashamed to call the weakling mine in so august a presence. It was nothing—less than nothing, madam—I did it but to clear my nether throat; but had I come prepared, then had I delivered something worthy. Bear with me, please your grace, till I can make amends.
[Then delivered he himself of such a godless and rock-shivering blast that all were fain to stop their ears, and following it did come so dense and foul a stink that that which went before did seem a poor and trifling thing beside it. Then saith he, feigning that he blushed and was confused, I perceive that I am weak to-day, and cannot justice do unto my powers; and sat him down as who should say, There, it is not much yet he that hath an arse to spare, let him fellow that, an' he think he can. By God, an' I were ye queene, I would e'en tip this swaggering braggart out o' the court, and let him air his grandeurs and break his intolerable wind before ye deaf and such as suffocation pleaseth.]

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@Frank Apisa,

fart jokes and bathroom humor, always a winner. Money maker too. Hat tipped to Freud and his theories about potty training.

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@Lola,

We used to hold a fart lighting competition every Boxing Day but after Mrs Jolly won three years on the trot we gave it up. Nobody could hold a candle to her. Not without risking getting singed eyebrows. And she set the Christmas decorations alight.

An international survey found that men fart 35 times a day on average and ladies 31 times. So it is reasonable to assume that in a two hour long, intimate tete-a-tete in a restaurant a lady would likely have farted 2.58 times allowing that bubblers lasting less than 10 seconds are counted as one. A restaurant with a hundred diners of equally mixed gender is producing (35 x 50 + 31 x 50) divided by 24 farts every hour which is the direct cause of the discreet whirring sound.

If genuine turtle soup is the starter the figures increase alarmingly and eateries which serve the Galapagos delicacy have gas masks hanging on the back of the chairs. In cheap joints fans are employed to diffuse the farts.

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Here is a fart story that gets passed around as true.

A man who was significantly overweight and lived in an airtight apartment was found dead with no signs of foul play. An autopsy was performed and there were large amounts of methane gas found in his system. He died from his own farts.

He ate a diet mainly of beans and cabbage. The combination appeared to be lethal. If he would have had a less airtight apartment or would have had a window open he would probably not have died from fart inhalation. I can't imagine too many ways that would leave a person with less dignity than to be found asphyxiated by your own farts. Well I know there are many but I am not going there.

According to the article the rescue workers were hospitalized after being in the room with the dead man. They inhaled the fumes from his malodorous fart gas. God spare me the horror of this scenario. Can you imagine being a child or wife of one who died like this? You would be at the funeral home and people would want to know what happened to the dearly departed.

I know that this is a situation where I would have to lie. I don't make a habit of it, but this would definitely be a time for an exception.
____________
I did a 'Snopes' on it. It is labeled false, since their research cold not find a news item about it anywhere.

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@izzythepush,

izzythepush wrote:

Frank Apisa wrote:

You can read 1601 on line in about 5 minutes.

Funny as hell...about Queen Elizabeth's reaction to Walter Raleigh's farts!

It's wrong though, it wasn't Raleigh at all, but the Earl of Oxford.

Quote:
She could be forgiving too. John Aubrey, the diarist, tells a story about the Earl of Oxford. When the Earl made a low obeisance to the Queen, he happened to let go a fart, at which he was so ashamed that he left the country for 7 years. At his return the Queen welcomed him and said, "My lord, I had forgot the fart"!

http://www.historic-uk.com/HistoryUK/HistoryofEngland/Queen-Elizabeth-I/

Is that actually really true? I have always heard it told as a joke!

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Y'know it occurs to me that Setanta has a whole thread on the subject of farts going. Some of these stories would be just right for it. so, must we really discuss the subject here at Lola's?

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@Lustig Andrei,

"Darling," says a husband to his wife, "Let's try a new position tonight." "Good idea!," she says, "You go to the sink and do the dishes, while I sit in front of the TV and fart!"

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@Ice Demon,

Surely nobody would make such a depraved suggestion when the dishes were still to be done. And a husband who would venture such an adventurous proposition could not possibly be unfamiliar with the two standard positions.

Which brings Hindu temple decorative sculpture into the reckoning.

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@spendius,

You wanna talk about Angkor Vat, that's sumpin' else again.

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