Help me

I know of a woman who is so addicted to a particuliar internet bulletin board, that she neglects her four children; one who is a cancer survivor, one is autistic and the other was sexually molested. These children range in age from 8 to 15. She posts from 7 a.m. till almost midnight seven days a week. These past few months her husband has begun to post too. Her children and her home are suffering neglect terribly. I suppose her husband decided to join the board because he couldn't get her to stop her compulsive posting so he decided to join her.

I know of a woman who is so addicted to a particuliar internet bulletin board, that she neglects her four children; one who is a cancer survivor, one is autistic and the other was sexually molested. These children range in age from 8 to 15. She posts from 7 a.m. till almost midnight seven days a week. These past few months her husband has begun to post too. Her children and her home are suffering neglect terribly. I suppose her husband decided to join the board because he couldn't get her to stop her compulsive posting so he decided to join her.

Yeah, that woman sounds familiar, though it is not clear if the molested boy is the same as autistic boy or cancer boy. But the mother refused to notify authorities of the molestation. And you left out the chastity belt her daughter is required to wear and that even though she is a teenager past puberty, she'll never be taught about responsible sexual behavior because her mother expects and believes she will remain a virgin until marriage.

LOL Where in the heck would you go to buy a chastity belt these days?

Some marriages are very very claustrophobic and people who venture on line often get for the first time a very widened sense of how many other people think, and gain a sense of themselves in the larger world. Sometimes they are apt to be ready victims to some unscrupulous scum, but other times real friendship and perhaps real love will come of the online connection.
I wouldn't be too quick to call these online connections terrible.

Buffy, that can be part of religious belief, and there's nothing wrong with it. It's blown out of proportion by those who don't understand it.

ok, I stand corrected that you actually met him and know for sure who he is and where he lives, but what I see up here in this response is a lot of excuses for him. If you want to defend him, then why are you here asking people what to do? Your response sort of says you already decided what to do, to be subserviant to him.

I have a hard time with the comparison of addiction to smoking and the internet. The internet is a choice that you can walk away from at any time if you choose to. It's called discipline. Nicotine addiction is not quite so easy to break since it is a need for a substance.

I don't know Fallen Angel. From what you've said, you sound very inexperienced and immature in the area of relationships. You can consider what people say, or go ahead and do things your way.

Fallen Angel........what's with you saying, "I need to be punished".....????

Stop that!
You're just begging to be abused, girl.
Your guy should've laughed.
The fact that he didn't, makes him be a truly dangerous superfreak you don't want to be with, so end it and get out while you still can.

Now.

There are tons of great guys out there, Fallen Angel. Don't ever let yourself settle. The fella you are with does not seem like the right fit for you. A girl your age - eeks - get out and meet people in your own area. Expand your horizens. This guy is half way around the world [or wherever the other country is]. Don't let yourself be defined on what he expects of you. I'm not opposed to age differences, but it seems to me he has preyed upon your naivete, with you never having been in a serious relationship before. Treat it like a bandaid. Rip it off quick, cut your losses, and move on. For real.

Fallen Angel--

We're probably all older than you are and we're certainly very generous with our good advice. Mark, read, learn and inwardly digest--then make your choices for your life.

A poem from Dorothy Parker which pretty much sums up the generation gap:

In youth it was a way I had
To do my best to please,
And change with every passing lad
To suit his theories.

But now I know the things I know
And do the thinks I do,
And if you do not like me so,
To hell, my love, with you.


You are young. Gather your rosebuds (but 'ware of thorns).

You know, I don't think you bothered to read my first post on this topic, or if you did didn't read it that well. Because I said part of the reason I was so upset is because I have never been in any relationship before this one. So thank you for telling me the obvious!

doglover wrote:

LOL Where in the heck would you go to buy a chastity belt these days?

LOL I was being facetious. A metaphorical chastity belt, not literal. Though I suppose some Renaissance shop might have one.

Hi Buffy! I agree with what you've said here but I also remember being at Fallen Angel's age and not really wanting to hear what older people had to say.

btw - where do you get those pictures I see some screen names have?

I agree with dog.

I am forced in front of a computer for long hours by my job, and I use the internet to make the time more productive, but I can still feel it become mind-numbing after so long. I've found this site very educational, but it still feels like a waste of time. It just doesn't feel healthy. Still it's better than sitting here doing nothing.