6
   

A BIT OF HUMOR FOR A DREARY DAY IN NEW JERSEY!

 
 
Reply Sat 8 Dec, 2012 12:21 pm
First, allow me to acknowledge my sister, Madeline, for this bit of hilarity:

http://i276.photobucket.com/albums/kk17/frankapisa/clinton1.jpeg

Hillary Clinton goes to her doctor for a check-up, only to find out that she's pregnant. She is furious. Here she is –- in the middle of dealing with this Syrian mess and all the other crap going on in the Middle-East...and now this has happened to her!


http://i276.photobucket.com/albums/kk17/frankapisa/clinton2.jpeg

She calls home, gets Bill on the phone and immediately starts screaming: "You bastard! How could you have let this happen? With all that's going on right now, you go and get me pregnant! How could you? I can't believe this! I've just found out I'm five weeks pregnant and it's all your fault!..............Well, what have you got to say?" There is nothing but dead silence on the phone. She screams again, "Did you hear me?"

Finally, she hears Bill's very, very quiet voice, in a barely audible whisper:






Who's speaking?
 
tsarstepan
 
  1  
Reply Sat 8 Dec, 2012 01:09 pm
@Frank Apisa,
You're going to need more then a BIT of humor for life in New Jersey.

YOU JUST GOT SERVED!
http://i48.tinypic.com/t62rtf.jpg
0 Replies
 
Lustig Andrei
 
  2  
Reply Sat 8 Dec, 2012 01:39 pm
@Frank Apisa,
I'm just so happy I don't live in New Jersey and my wife doesn't live there either . . .any more.
0 Replies
 
firefly
 
  4  
Reply Sat 8 Dec, 2012 02:25 pm
@Frank Apisa,
http://3.bp.blogspot.com/-mhXcJRch220/TnetVyUx4vI/AAAAAAAANbM/o3L6lf03jRI/s1600/funny-captions-next-stop-new-jersey.jpg

http://chzhistoriclols.files.wordpress.com/2011/05/funny-pictures-history-one-does-not-simply-walk-into-new-jersey.jpg

http://chzhistoriclols.files.wordpress.com/2012/08/funny-pictures-history-and-this-week-on-real-housewives-of-new-jersey.jpg

http://rlv.zcache.co.uk/new_jersey_the_strong_survive_the_rest_get_eaten_poster-r420d20aa5e294815a07df0ab2f2cec8a_w2j_400.jpg
Lustig Andrei
 
  5  
Reply Sat 8 Dec, 2012 02:54 pm
@firefly,
You know why so many New Yorkers are chronically depressed?

They've realized that the light at the end of the tunnel is . . .New Jersey!
tsarstepan
 
  1  
Reply Sat 8 Dec, 2012 03:00 pm
@Lustig Andrei,
Quote:
They've realized that the light at the end of the tunnel is . . .New Jersey!


Brilliant! The best comedy is based in truth!
http://i45.tinypic.com/2wfjl01.jpg
Lustig Andrei
 
  1  
Reply Sat 8 Dec, 2012 03:27 pm
@tsarstepan,
Embarrassed
aw shucks
0 Replies
 
Finn dAbuzz
 
  1  
Reply Wed 12 Dec, 2012 07:13 pm
You have a defnitive belief in humor?
Frank Apisa
 
  1  
Reply Wed 12 Dec, 2012 09:06 pm
@Finn dAbuzz,
Quote:
You have a defnitive belief in humor?


Not sure you think that the fact that I enjoy humor...makes it a "belief", Finn...but if it makes you happy to manufacture things like that...go for it.

I like when you are happy.
Finn dAbuzz
 
  1  
Reply Thu 13 Dec, 2012 04:23 pm
@Frank Apisa,
Well, you obviously don't have a sense of humor.
Frank Apisa
 
  1  
Reply Thu 13 Dec, 2012 04:52 pm
@Finn dAbuzz,
Finn...

...oh, but I do...I do.
0 Replies
 
Joe Nation
 
  1  
Reply Thu 13 Dec, 2012 05:10 pm
This could have happened in New Jersey:

Guy calls his boss, says "Boss, I feel bad, I gotta headache, my belly hurts, I'm not coming in to work today."
The Boss says "Hey, I know how you feel. Listen, you know what I do when I feel bad like that? I ask my wife for some sex. Afterward, I feel great and I come right into work."
"Okay" says the guy, "You know what? I'm gonna try that."

A couple of hours later the guy calls his boss again: "Boss" he says, " You were so right; I went and had the sex and now I feel great. No headache, no belly ache. Great!! and I gotta tell you, boss, you gotta nice house."

Joe( Cool )Nation
Frank Apisa
 
  3  
Reply Thu 13 Dec, 2012 05:20 pm
@Joe Nation,
Funny one, Jonathan.

Here's one back at ya. It involves personal testimonial from a guy from New Jersey about Drinking and Driving:

Subject: Drinking and Driving

With the Holidays upon us I would like to share a personal experience with my friends about drinking and driving.

As you may know some of us have been known to have brushes with the authorities from time to time on the way home after a "social session" out with friends.

Well, two days ago I was out for an evening with friends and had several cocktails followed by some rather nice red wine. Feeling jolly I still had the sense to know that I may be slightly over the limit. That's when I did something that I've never done before - I took a cab home.

Sure enough on the way home there was a police road block but since it was a cab they waved it past. I arrived home safely without incident. This was a real surprise as I had never driven a cab before, I don't know where I got it and now that it's in my garage I don't know what to do with it.




NEW JERSEY...A PLACE TO LOVE.



0 Replies
 
Lustig Andrei
 
  1  
Reply Thu 13 Dec, 2012 06:01 pm
Hey, you guys. Both of those belong on the bad jokes thread.
Frank Apisa
 
  1  
Reply Thu 13 Dec, 2012 06:10 pm
@Lustig Andrei,
I tried, but they asked me to withdraw mine!
0 Replies
 
 

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