2
   

shorten the sentences

 
 
ziawj2
 
Reply Mon 3 Sep, 2012 08:18 am
The sentences below have been shorten. Could you give me your suggestion? Thank you!
1. The new wristwatch is in a green box in the top drawer of the bedside table.
New wristwatch in green box in top drawer of bedside table.
2. It is very hot here now.
It's hot.
3. We are having a wonderful party.
Party wonderful
4. Every single one of us here had reached the point of believing everything about him.
Everybody had come to believe everything about him.
5. Sharon is canceling her vacation because there is some urgent business problem for her to deal with.
Sharon canceling vacation for urgent business problem.
6. They helped us learn about a potential risk of abuse.
They educated us about abuse potential.
7. Mike is returning home, for he has just graduated from college.
Mike returning home--just graduated from college.
8. They emerged from the meeting walking side by side.
They walked together after meeting.
9. I wasn't able to do it as I had planned.
I couldn't make it.
10. What I am going to do is contact a media outlet that has a lot of money.
I'm going to contact a rich media outlet.
 
jespah
 
  2  
Reply Mon 3 Sep, 2012 10:39 am
@ziawj2,
#2, #6, #9 and #10 are all technically correct, but I think there's a bit of a shade of meaning difference with #6. #4 is pretty close.

With most of the others, the issues are either dropping the definite article (which you should generally not do, as it defines which item you're referring to) or a form of the verb "to be" and that kills the verb tenses you're using. For example, in #5 the verb is actually two words "is cancelling" - you can't just drop the "is" part as that is a part of the verb form itself.
0 Replies
 
JTT
 
  1  
Reply Mon 3 Sep, 2012 12:06 pm
@ziawj2,
Quote:
The sentences below have been shortened. Could you give me your suggestion?


To what end, or in other words, for what purpose have these sentences been shortened, Ziawj?

Many sound like telegrams.
dalehileman
 
  3  
Reply Mon 3 Sep, 2012 12:16 pm
@ziawj2,

Quote:
1. The new wristwatch is in a green box in the top drawer of the bedside table.
New wristwatch in green box in top drawer of bedside table.
New wristwatch, green box, top drawer, bedside

Quote:
2. It is very hot here now.
It's hot.
Hot

or

Whew (with appropriate gesture)

Quote:
3. We are having a wonderful party.
Party wonderful
Wonderful (Looking upward, raise hand in direction of activity) or if you like shorter words

Wow

Quote:
4. Every single one of us here had reached the point of believing everything about him.
Everybody had come to believe everything about him.
And we believed (again, gesture in dir of perp)

Quote:
5. Sharon is canceling her vacation because there is some urgent business problem for her to deal with.
Sharon canceling vacation for urgent business problem.

Sharon canceling vacation, urgent business (Since all business is problematical)

Quote:
6. They helped us learn about a potential risk of abuse.
They educated us about abuse potential.
They warned us of abuse.

Quote:
7. Mike is returning home, for he has just graduated from college.
Mike returning home--just graduated from college.
Mike's returning from college grad

Quote:
8. They emerged from the meeting walking side by side.
They walked together after meeting.
They ambled from meeting

Quote:
9. I wasn't able to do it as I had planned.
I couldn't make it.
Just couldn't

Quote:
10. What I am going to do is contact a media outlet that has a lot of money.
I'm going to contact a rich media outlet.
I’ll tell Big Media
ziawj2
 
  1  
Reply Mon 3 Sep, 2012 09:18 pm
@JTT,
Use the shorten sentences in quick messages.
ziawj2
 
  1  
Reply Mon 3 Sep, 2012 09:25 pm
@dalehileman,
Thank you very much!
dalehileman
 
  1  
Reply Tue 4 Sep, 2012 11:04 am
@ziawj2,
Quite welcome 2
0 Replies
 
JTT
 
  1  
Reply Tue 4 Sep, 2012 07:09 pm
@ziawj2,
I see, Ziawj.
0 Replies
 
 

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