does she want me as a good friend still or more?

@Krumple,

I plan on taking a chance with her but yeah that's the problem, I mssied the opportunity,but that was against my plan,and sense at that money I didn't know if she felt the same I was sticking to my plan,but once it was over I realized she made the first move enough to get me to say something but I didn't because of my plan. its okay though. did you ever finish reading the rest?

1 Reply

@cornelljdav,

cornelljdav wrote:

I plan on taking a chance with her but yeah that's the problem, I mssied the opportunity,but that was against my plan,and sense at that money I didn't know if she felt the same I was sticking to my plan,but once it was over I realized she made the first move enough to get me to say something but I didn't because of my plan. its okay though. did you ever finish reading the rest?

By "rest" you mean this?

cornelljdav wrote:

I'm like Im just being nice to you. Like I can't be nice? She like yeah but I'm staying everyone said you do. I'm just like well you can believe them if you want ya know o well. Like I ain't about to tell u how I feel if I'm just a friend.

I think you answered good here but it is also a little disappointing from her perspective because you aren't initiating anything with her. The confusion is she already knew you liked her and now you are back down? This looks bad and it actually looks worse because you are saying the opposite of what she knows. It is like you are arguing to say you really aren't interested as she knows that you are. It's bad.

cornelljdav wrote:

Shouldn't matter n she shouldn't even tried to put me the spot n make me confess it hahaha But it was a very good conversation we left because I was tired n she had to go eventually so I cut the convo off.

Personally I think you should have gotten something more than conversation from her but maybe that is just me.

cornelljdav wrote:

Yeah she showed she liked me without saying n I got my answer I was right she did like u me, u were right she did. Thank your. Now only if she really likes me then I can tell her how I feel n hopefully get with her Well, somethings have changed with me n mayra.

I wouldn't tell her anything. I would show it. Be playful and tease affection out of her. Make her work for it. Women like to work for attention if you just freely give it then she will become bored with you. You want to make her want your attention and by doing that is by being aloof and mysterious or unpredictable. If you want hugs or kisses from her, get her to want to give them to you in playful ways. Rather than hiding or begging for them.

cornelljdav wrote:

Okay a couple days later after me and her talked for a hour I talked to her friend Margret that morning told me this ,no i think she not being honest with herself her and i were talking bout somthing and she kinda open up and i seen she unsure of her life choice and told me just like other girls that the biggest problem with u is u like every girl u see but i didnt see that i still dont even though u let me know whats up and i tol miyra i dont see him doing that.

This is okay. Girls/women like drama even though they will complain about it. Women like to figure out relationships and so she wants to figure you out because she is interested in you. It is okay if she thinks you like every girl you meet. This means you are not 100% available which is good. It means you have value to other women and thus value to her. If you have no value to women then she want see you as valuable. So this is good even though she is concerned. She should be concerned. It is a good sign.

cornelljdav wrote:

Then later that night mayra went over there and told Margret she ain't like me and Margret texted me and said mayra doesn't like you. I was just like ok.

Not surprised to hear this. A few things might have happened. Her boyfriend might have made some effort with her and she started liking him again and wants to sever things with you and being reactionary. Or she is testing the water with you and seeing how you will react. If you will chase her down. This is a bluff move that some girls make to see how a guy will respond.

cornelljdav wrote:

The next day Margret like mayra said if her bf downy change his ways shes gonna break up with him. You ask me that's odd. She still hasn't really talked to because she switched departments but she has this trick she does, well use to do. Okay if she doesn't see me none the whole day or talk to me before she gets out she will call me to give me her work phone when.she can easily give it to someone else or cut it off but gives it to me as a excuse to see me or talk to me before she go and about two weeks ago her last day I. my department she tried it but I was on break and I seen.her once I got back she was upset a biti aint answer her call. She tried to talk to me but I was busy. she walked up magically directly In the asile I wasilike it odd she knew exactly where I was becauseshe came right there and smiled and said hi instantly. Like a couple days ago I seen her at the mall.

Some of this is good and some of it is bad. She keeps giving you signs that she is interested and you keep missing them as if your eyes are closed. Which is okay but it won't last for ever. Eventually she will give up trying and just put you on the friends list. She won't go out of her way to entertain you or try to close the space between you. She will just say hi and be friendly but she will stop trying to see you. That is unless you do something to increase the level of your relationship with her.

cornelljdav wrote:

She was headed to the store I was leaving from coming from my right but I was going straight ahead and didn't see her but my friend was behind me and asked if I wanted to go to anymore stores and once I turned around she walked past the store I just left and I stopped and was in shock to see her and she was walking really fast like she even gripped her mom arm as I was from a distance telling my friend that was her.

Wow, not only is this a great thing but you missed an amazing opportunity to spark a relationship with her mother! Which is huge points that you could have gained. Get in good with her mom and you are golden. Despite what you might think women respect men who respect their own mothers and mothers in general. It translates like this.

If a guy is rude to his own mother then chances are he will be rude to the woman he is with. If he respects his own mother and has a really strong relationship with his mother then there is a high chance he will have a strong relationship with the romantic girl in his life. That is how it translates in a woman's mind.

You missed a great opportunity to win big points by meeting her mother in a public place and making her laugh and get to liking you. If you won over her mother you would be golden.

cornelljdav wrote:

Like there about a 8 out of 10 chance she seen me but I don't for sure. This what I was thinking about saying I mean I can say hey mayra, what u do this week, hows fam, you n moms coo still? Yall hang out. The mall? Word what day, i was there that day, what u have on I think I saw u. Chillllllllllllll that was u hahaha I should have said sunin to c if it was u hahaha but I didnt. That's everything and like I said before I'm really sorry for how I write this. Hope you respond.""

This is why I think you lack confidence because you should have approached her rather than avoid it. Sure she might have felt a little embarrassed or didn't expect to see you but you could have turned an awkward situation into something really great. These sorts of opportunities don't always come about and often they need to be set up but running into her unexpected like that was a major missed opportunity for you.

2 Replies

@Krumple,

I understand what you saying and it makes so much sense. the whole thing with her giving is fine with me because like I said I wasn't trynna be with her from the jump. me I had a plan and a bonus if it happened, and thr bonus was I will be with her if she wants to be with me. so once I heard she was jealous of other girls it made me look onto it. the whole mall thing was crazy. I was gone say something but she was walking wayyyyy to fast like she was scared or something. I tried to meet her somewhat but she was just walking to fast. I know I could get big points with her mom. I'm real close to my mom and respectful. she just seem like she was in a hurry so I gave up. her friend margret is having another bonfire and wants to invite everyone we had last time including me and Mayra. I plan on going to this one regardless if Mayra comes or not.hopefully she not mad or aloof from me.

the whole thing with her trynna get me to adimit I like her was just all a confusion. now she knew I liked her but it wasn't how she thought, I treated her like a friend but truly liked her a lot. now the only reason why I avoided adimitting it was because I didn't want her to know I like her if I'm just a friend, before I know she really likes me back, and because she tried to be slick and put it out there. she deserves thr truth and they say 3rd times the charm so not saying I'm hoping on this because I wanna show her sooner but if talk alone in the parking lot then I will show it and try to help her understand why I didn't adimit it the first or second time.

1 Reply

@Krumple,

also when she tried to get me to adimit I like her like ten minutes before that the same old lady the walked out on us the first time we talked for a hour did a second time. she pulled up on us and asked were me n Mayra a couple I just laughed but Mayra said nooo we just friends but smiling and in a nice way. then soon as the lady pulled off mayra said I have to tell you something she said. after a while that's when she said that that old lady said I like Mayra and that everyone tells her. what I don't understand is you just told someone I'm just a friend then you hint you want me to adimit I like you? what do you think about that? I think it was odd but at the sametime she was gone say she don't like me that way

1 Reply

@cornelljdav,

cornelljdav wrote:

I understand what you saying and it makes so much sense. the whole thing with her giving is fine with me because like I said I wasn't trynna be with her from the jump.

This attitude and outlook is always the best mindset to have when meeting people. It makes you relaxed and not worried about failure. I think many men have this problem. They see a woman they are attracted to and clam up fearing failure or that she will out right refuse him or make fun of him for trying. That is usually never the case. Women like attention even if it's from men who they are not initially attracted to.

cornelljdav wrote:

me I had a plan and a bonus if it happened, and thr bonus was I will be with her if she wants to be with me. so once I heard she was jealous of other girls it made me look onto it. the whole mall thing was crazy.

Your mindset was good at the beginning but as soon as you started thinking that you wanted more of a relationship with her, you should have responded that way. You missed many opportunities to increase your relationship with her.

cornelljdav wrote:

I was gone say something but she was walking wayyyyy to fast like she was scared or something. I tried to meet her somewhat but she was just walking to fast. I know I could get big points with her mom. I'm real close to my mom and respectful. she just seem like she was in a hurry so I gave up.

Well I think you missed the opportunity when you first saw her to grab her attention. She might have been embarrassed to see you and wanted to avoid an awkward situation.

cornelljdav wrote:

her friend margret is having another bonfire and wants to invite everyone we had last time including me and Mayra. I plan on going to this one regardless if Mayra comes or not.hopefully she not mad or aloof from me.

Good luck with that. You should play the fun guy at the bonfire. I am not sure how outgoing you are but perhaps this is a great opportunity to step out of your comfort zone and challenge yourself. You can entertain everyone by entertaining one person, even if it is a guy at the get together. Chat loud enough for everyone to hear and tell funny stories or joke around about some topic of discussion to get everyone laughing.

Most people don't do this, they tend to hover in groups and make their rounds having small quite conversations. If you really want to win some great points become the center of attention. If you can entertain people 1v1 then it is no different entertaining an entire group the same way, all you do is be louder about it to include everyone. Just an option.

cornelljdav wrote:

the whole thing with her trynna get me to adimit I like her was just all a confusion. now she knew I liked her but it wasn't how she thought, I treated her like a friend but truly liked her a lot. now the only reason why I avoided adimitting it was because I didn't want her to know I like her if I'm just a friend, before I know she really likes me back, and because she tried to be slick and put it out there. she deserves thr truth and they say 3rd times the charm so not saying I'm hoping on this because I wanna show her sooner but if talk alone in the parking lot then I will show it and try to help her understand why I didn't adimit it the first or second time.

The thing is, you didn't need to find out if she liked you. The signs were already there, it is just you haven't been taught how to recognize them. Most women give signs immediately if they are attracted to a guy but most guys are clueless about these signs. Most men just stumble into relationships and luck out by accident doing the right things. However; they do make mistakes a long the way sometimes or fail completely.

0 Replies

@cornelljdav,

cornelljdav wrote:

also when she tried to get me to adimit I like her like ten minutes before that the same old lady the walked out on us the first time we talked for a hour did a second time.

Yeah this is common. She wants to figure out if what she knows is true or not. It is not a bad thing you remained mysterious or aloof. It actually works in your favor a little, but the thing is, you did like her but did nothing to turn it into something really amazing. A push pull tactic. Where you mislead her with one line of reasoning but you do something that suggest that you do actually like her. I'll explain what I mean more in the next paragraph.

cornelljdav wrote:

she pulled up on us and asked were me n Mayra a couple I just laughed but Mayra said nooo we just friends but smiling and in a nice way.

Here was a great opportunity to become very playful and surprise her making a joke. You should have answered by claiming something that isn't true. You should have exaggerated your relationship. It wouldn't really matter what you said, because she knows the truth but if you just joke around about being "fated" to be together or something to that effect it would shock her and you would win a lot of fun points.

But you lost a great opportunity and answered all boring with a no. That doesn't sound good and it's not fun to hear. I would have exaggerated and had some fun with it and claimed you were destined to be together or something really extravagant. She would know you were joking but that is okay.

cornelljdav wrote:

then soon as the lady pulled off mayra said I have to tell you something she said. after a while that's when she said that that old lady said I like Mayra and that everyone tells her.

Yeah this is really bad. A girl should never learn from someone else that you are interested in her. It makes you look cowardly and it also means that you talk about her behind her back. Two bad traits to be known for. Even though it isn't bad conversation, it still looks bad.

cornelljdav wrote:

what I don't understand is you just told someone I'm just a friend then you hint you want me to adimit I like you? what do you think about that? I think it was odd but at the sametime she was gone say she don't like me that way

If a girl tells you that she doesn't "like you that way." It means you have not triggered her required emotions. You are no different than a friend to her because you failed to make her romantically interested in her.

1 Reply

@Krumple,

I never said no, I just didn't answe her directly. I said you can't believe everything you hear. that's all I said. like if she knew I like her why would she do that? why not just say Cornell I like you as a friend and nothing more. I be direct with her a lot so she should do the same with me. I know I missed a opportunity,but like I said at that time I wasn't trying to push are relationship further, just get my answer. now that I wanna go further I might not be able to.

1 Reply

@cornelljdav,

cornelljdav wrote:

I never said no, I just didn't answe her directly. I said you can't believe everything you hear.

I was referring to the old lady driving up to you guys and asking if you were a couple. You didn't respond and she had to answer for you with a no. It becomes boring. You could have answered the old lady saying something like, "Yeah, we just got married and we are going to have our honeymoon on the moon." It breaks the tension because everyone involved in the conversation knows it is outlandish.

You could even steal a hug out of it. As you are answering the woman you could have wrapped your arms around mayra as you joked. This is what I call stealing a hug using conversation to distract her. It's playful and fun. Later it can become a reoccurring source of amusement too. In her mind it connects you and becomes something that she will remember. Rather than a boring "no" reply.

cornelljdav wrote:

that's all I said. like if she knew I like her why would she do that? why not just say Cornell I like you as a friend and nothing more. I be direct with her a lot so she should do the same with me.

Direct is boring. It is fun not knowing how people feel about you. I think it is better to live and do things on your terms rather than wait for a green light to act. If you try to kiss her and she turns away or stops you, so what? No big deal. But if she doesn't turn away or stop you, you are gold. Everything in life costs something. If you don't take risks you never live it. Have fun, be playful, don't gamble with your fear of rejections or else you will never play your hands.

cornelljdav wrote:

I know I missed a opportunity,but like I said at that time I wasn't trying to push are relationship further, just get my answer. now that I wanna go further I might not be able to.

Exactly. This is why you shouldn't wait for a green light to pursue a relationship further. Don't wait until a girl says that she likes you. If you like her, are attracted to her, then you act don't wait for her to tell you. If she responds and shuts down so what? Her loss. Move on to a girl that does respond.

However; it is rare that a girl will just shut down and out right reject you. If you are talking, joking, having long conversations and she is trying to touch you, then she is interested and if you tried to kiss her I bet you would be surprised that she wouldn't turn down that kiss even if she has a boyfriend.

This is why I envy males in general. They can flaunt their sexuality and society accepts it as being socially okay. But if a woman does it she gets branded a slut or whore or trashy. Although things are getting a little better it still happens.

Not only that but generally if I have to put in work to get a guy to like me, after a while I get bored because he isn't doing anything to get me interested in him. But society hasn't taught most males how to interact with women.

Movies and books don't do a very good job at teaching men specifically how to interact with women successfully. Most guys seem to just fumble their way into relationships and it seems purely by accident they have success.

1 Reply

@Krumple,

I feel you on taking risk which I can do I just don't a lot. now as for this situation, not including the fact she said she don't like me because she thinks I like other girls, I wanna do you think that she was trying to be with me, like trying to go past friends or was she just being nice and being a good friend like I felt she was?

1 Reply

@cornelljdav,

cornelljdav wrote:

I feel you on taking risk which I can do I just don't a lot.

Here is how I look at it. If she doesn't mean anything to you then whats wrong with taking risks? If she is meaningful to you then the risk shows you value her. So not taking risks shows nothing and you get no where. You are better off taking risks.

cornelljdav wrote:

now as for this situation, not including the fact she said she don't like me because she thinks I like other girls,

I think this is a bluff. She wants to see if you are interested in someone else besides her. She wants to find out if she has competition. This is good and you should carry it out, because women tend to value what other women have value in. This is why some women go after married men because other women have shown value in that man.

It's okay if she thinks you have other choices. She's just trying to see if you have other girls in your selection process. She cuts you off by saying she doesn't like you as an attempt to not be "second pick" or "runner up". No girl wants to be option number two.

cornelljdav wrote:

I wanna do you think that she was trying to be with me, like trying to go past friends or was she just being nice and being a good friend like I felt she was?

I wouldn't worry about it. The thing is her friends like you which is in itself a good thing. It shows you have value when you can become friends with her friends. I wouldn't worry about her going through her friends to get to you. Her friends know how she feels because women talk to each other more about relationships than anything else.

1 Reply

@Krumple,

ok. I was gone go up to my job later today to buy a dog tag chain and my cousins baby pampers. if Mayra there should I try to have a convo or should I just say hi? that's if she don't say it first. also say we have a convo is that a time sense I'm not gone be there long to get her number even though I told her I wouldn't ask again or Just nice seeing you bye?

1 Reply

@cornelljdav,

cornelljdav wrote:

ok. I was gone go up to my job later today to buy a dog tag chain and my cousins baby pampers. if Mayra there should I try to have a convo or should I just say hi?

I wouldn't expect a certain thing to happen because if you plan something specifically and something gets in the way it might throw you off and you won't know how to respond. It is always good to have a conversation but I wouldn't press it, make it natural, if she is not giving and you are doing all the work in the conversation, then cut if off.

What you really want is her "wanting" to talk to you. You need her to be wanting more conversation. If she isn't wanting it then you shouldn't press it on her. You'll need to do something to get that value back if she is giving you the brush off.

However; if she does respond positively and is enjoying the conversation and joking. Tell her you are in a hurry and can't stay long. This will make her want more which is what you want. It is not lying, it is valuing your time. If this situation happens then and only then ask for her number, then leave. Don't stick around.

cornelljdav wrote:

that's if she don't say it first. also say we have a convo is that a time sense I'm not gone be there long to get her number even though I told her I wouldn't ask again or Just nice seeing you bye?

I sort of answered you already above. I would first feel her out and see if she wants to have a conversation. If she does then cut her off and tell her you can't stay, you need to get going. You need to get these things back to your cousin, or something like that. I know you want to be there and talk to her but you need to increase your value and make her feel desperate for your conversations. This will bring her to you even though you are leaving her. Only if this happens should you ask for her number.

If she is giving you the cold brush off and not responding to your attempts at conversation, don't ask for the number. Just say nice seeing you and leave. It's okay you can always win her over, today just isn't the right day for it.

1 Reply

@Krumple,

alright alright. so can we get deep into what happen between what I me and mayra like the stuff where she wanted to me to make a move or when she was trying to make are relationship better?

1 Reply

@cornelljdav,

cornelljdav wrote:

alright alright. so can we get deep into what happen between what I me and mayra like the stuff where she wanted to me to make a move or when she was trying to make are relationship better?

yeah. I am a little confused do you have something to explain or are you requesting something?

1 Reply

@Krumple,

I'm sorry, requesting to know more. I wanna know can we discuss the things I missed and ways I can improve to realize them?

1 Reply

@cornelljdav,

cornelljdav wrote:

I'm sorry, requesting to know more. I wanna know can we discuss the things I missed and ways I can improve to realize them?

Well I can offer a lot of advice. Some of it could be used in bad ways, I could potentially turn you into a womanizer. But I'll give you a little more information to show you what I mean.

The reason I know this works is because I can use it on women who don't like me and get them to become not only friends with me but best friends with me even if they previously hated my guts. It's because I pretend I am a guy talking to them and I use these techniques to rebuild the value they have for me and once they see me as having value they become nicer, friendlier and then the relationship becomes more peaceful.

I'll try to explain what I mean. This advice is what you need right now to fix your relationship with her and get it back on track. But this time you have to deliver or else you will slip right back into the friend zone again.

If there is a girl/woman who doesn't like me, or even hates me, what I generally do is start talking to her. I don't ask her why she doesn't like me because that only reminds her why she doesn't like me and she will start feeling all the emotions with it. Instead I try to find out more about her.

People really love to talk about themselves. So I ask questions, to try to find out what their interests are. People always have interests no matter how insignificant they might be. This starts the friendship going in a more positive direction even if she still hates me or dislikes me. Now I'm getting some where. What I do is I pick one interest she says she is into and I either take a few days to learn something about it or if I know something about it, I then offer up some advice or discussion on it.

This gives me value to her. Now let's say just as an example she likes shopping for shoes. What I do then is ask her if she would like to go shoe shopping with me. I'll say something like, I really suck at picking out shoes would you mind helping me find something cool? More than likely since she says she is into that sort of thing she will gladly accept. Now the truth is I might be actually lying but it's okay because my over all premise is to make our relationship better.

So when we go shoe shopping instead of letting her pick something out for me I change everything. When she offers up a shoe selection, I shoot it down and say no. Every time she makes a suggestion, I say no. This shows to her that you have an opinion. I don't do it in a mean way or rude way, I just say it isn't something I could wear or I find a way to shoot it down nicely.

Then what I do is revert the conversation and use her as the subject. I look for shoes for her instead. This will rebuild the value she has for me. I'll pick something out for her to to try or buy and there is a chance she won't agree but this is how you can steer the direction of her value system. Suggest she at least try them on and then when she does, I compliment her on them. More than likely I'm not actually lying because I am picking out something that is actually appealing.

Don't just grab any shoe, I actually look them over to help support it. Although if you feel okay about it, you could play around and find the ugliest shoe ever and get her to try it on and then compliment her on it but then that might be morally wrong for some people. It still could be a source of amusement and humor and fun. So it's not wrong.

So after I compliment her she now has a new value for me. I have gained back her trust as a friend and someone she can spend time with. Of course I would be joking with her and having fun. It doesn't always have to be something serious. This is just one example of how I rebuild a person who doesn't like me.

You could do the same with her. Find out what she likes, what she is interested in. Take some time to learn about it and then offer it back to her. Not only will she be impressed but she will enjoy the discussion since it's a topic she enjoys. It's even better if you can come up with jokes related to the subject or topic of interest that way you can have fun with it.

However; do not ask her to teach you about the subject. This doesn't give you any value, instead it makes you have less value because she has to offer input to train you. Not good. Many guys make this mistake thinking it's a way to get some alone time with a girl but no it's a poor move.

The over all lesson here is to build up your value. You do this by offering something on something she is interested in so your opinion will mean something to her. Not only this but you can use time as a way to increase your value. For example like I said earlier, time constraints are a way to build value. What you do is get her to want to spend time with her but let her know that you don't have time to offer her.

It makes her want it that much more so when you do spend time with her she feels it is more precious. If you just always come running at her beckon call then she knows at any time she can snap her fingers and you'll come running. This isn't good, now you just become her pet. A lot of guys make this mistake because they want to spend time with a girl they are interested in and lose value and fall into the friend zone.

Everything I have said is for one positive purpose, to make a meaningful romantic relationship work with her. Don't use these techniques to use women. They can be misused and I would hate to be offering up advice only to have it be abused and misused to use people. It needs to have a positive goal in mind or else it is sinister. Just keep this in mind. And for anyone reading this topic.

1 Reply

@Krumple,

that's good stuff. I wanna what missed with her?

2 Replies

@cornelljdav,

like you said I missed a lot of opportunities. which times and what did I so and what should have I done?

1 Reply

@cornelljdav,

cornelljdav wrote:

that's good stuff. I wanna what missed with her?

Well right now you need to build up some value. Didn't you say you are going to some bon fire get together and she might be there? If you are going, use this opportunity to become the center of attention. It will build massive value if you can be the center of attention and have everyone hanging on your words.

Tell funny stories even if they embarrass you, tell them to everyone there. Let the guys tease you or laugh at you. It's okay because the women there will love it even if the guys are making fun of you. Also the women will love that you can control the room and are not afraid to be the center of attention. Every girl there will be envious of mayra. This is why your value will sky rocket with her if you can pull this off.

Don't worry about failure, just do it. The pay off is huge. Not only will the guys think you are cool and fearless but the women will adore it. Tell a story, tell some jokes, make everyone laugh. Don't put anyone down, let yourself be the object of attack. It's okay it will build confidence that you can take jabs and pokes and not take yourself so seriously.

I am not sure if you drink alcohol at these get-togethers, but if you do, do not do it that night. Be completely sober. It is important because if you need to build up liquid courage to do this then it is not as powerful. The women will see that and assume you are only doing it because you have been drinking.

If you are not comfortable doing it, all the better. It will make you fearless the more times you do this. You'll be able to say anything any where at any time and you can become the star of attraction for any room the better you get at it more attractive women will see you as. Don't be afraid of what to say. Just start talking. Say, "Id like to tell a story..."

Loud enough for everyone around to hear it. Then just start talking. Start off with jokes like, "Once upon a time..." Or be silly and then go into your funny story. Something that happened to you one time that is funny (hopefully). If not, if no one laughs then turn this very moment into something funny. Make a recovery just say, "I meant to tell a funny story to make everyone laugh and have a good time, but now I'll have to use this moment in the future to tell people." Only say that if your initial story fails to make them all laugh. This will get a few laughs and save you also break you from being embarrassed that it failed.

So always have an escape route planned. A one liner that sheds light on a failure. It is a guaranteed laugh. Also if that fails you can try again by using the same joke as the premise. Even if you completely bomb and everything you try fails completely you still win because your skin is now tougher. You have thrown yourself to the wolves and survived. You have put yourself out there. The women will still see it as adorable even if you fall flat on your face so you still win even if you fail.

A lot of men are afraid to put themselves in the spot light because they are worried that women will laugh at them but to be honest the reality is often the other way around. Women are attracted to the guy who stands out, grabs attention and is fearless in crowds and can get everyone hanging on every word.

So my advice, rebuild your value as soon as you can. Then you need to seal the deal with a kiss. Don't ask her if you can kiss her, don't suggest that you want to kiss her. Don't even say you would want to kiss her but have stopped because she has a boyfriend. Just go for it. She might stop you later and say she feels bad because she is in a relationship. That is okay.

Just kiss her and then leave. Even if the night is still early, leave. It will make her want you. Say you have things you need to do, even if you really want to stay, your value will sky rocket if you leave then and there. No matter how much she begs or tries to convince you to stay, you should make up any excuse to leave.

I grantee that she will be pouncing on every thing you say after that. Not only that but if it fails with her the other girls at the bon fire will be attracted to you. You could always wind up with one of them. But I really doubt it would come to that because she will be the envy of all the other girls there.

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@cornelljdav,

cornelljdav wrote:

like you said I missed a lot of opportunities. which times and what did I so and what should have I done?

Well I thought I pointed out every time I think you missed an opportunity. Don't look bad. Look forward. You can't fix the past, the past is molded and solidified. Only look at what you can do from now on. You can fix the damage if there is any. Just change your perspective a little. Increase your value with her. Get her to want to be with you. Use time constraints and when she starts touching you again or trying to get close or seeking you out to get your attention. Seal the deal with a hug or kiss. This is what you need to work on right now to get the relationship back on track.

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does she want me as a good friend still or more?

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