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Should I ignore my boyfriends cocaine use if it's only once a year?

 
 
Anonymous1234567890
 
  0  
Reply Tue 14 Aug, 2012 07:50 pm
@chai2,
Quote:
You yourself said people change every day, so you contradict yourself.


How did I contradict myself? my reply went like so: you can stop taking drugs without becoming addicted.
example 1: my sister.
example 2: Me.

People change everyday, don't blame it on the drugs just because someone who used to hate yogurt now loves it.

Quote:
Again, you'd already made up your mind you were going to accept him, regardless that you now know he changes his stories to suit himself.


What are you talking about? It didn't suit him to tell me about that extra one he did on thanksgiving at all. And he said he did it about every New Years. I didn't ask the details, but when I did, he told me exact dates.

I feel as though you've had a very bad experience with drugs and men, or maybe just men in general. You're firmly against this guy that you don't even know based on a biased first post with not even half the story on a drugs related issue from a girl that's anti-drugs to begin with?

It's because of the ignorance behind posts like yours that demonizes the people who have tried drugs before that makes me want to open your eyes on the matter. It's probably because the media only focuses the limelight on the ones that end up badly that people probably have these views, but you need to learn to think for yourself. We're young. We get curious. It's not a big deal. Not everyone who drinks alcohol becomes an alcoholic, you know?
MMarciano
 
  2  
Reply Tue 14 Aug, 2012 07:55 pm
@Anonymous1234567890,
You’re 20 years old your boyfriend is a 24 year old liar and uses drugs. You’ll either marry him someday or wake up and find a healthy relationship. The ball is in your court.
chai2
 
  3  
Reply Tue 14 Aug, 2012 08:42 pm
@Anonymous1234567890,
You're obviously going out of your way to misinterpret my words.

You came here asking if you should ignore his drug use.

No one has said a word that has changed your opinion. You already decided to let him tell you lies to ignore his drug use, then defend him when it's called to your attention.

In for a penny, in for a pound....what does it matter if he's lied to you once, twice or a hundred times about his drug use?

You contradict yourself because....well hell, why should I explain that in the same post you say the exact opposite thing. You can read.

As has been said, you are 20. He's 23 or 24. The people who have responded to you are all older, more experienced in the ways of the world, and have been there, done that.

I don't say you are young as an insult. You must learn as everyone does, through experience.

You simply don't like what you are hearing from most of us.

So go do what you want with this guy. It's your life.

Anonymous1234567890
 
  0  
Reply Tue 14 Aug, 2012 09:13 pm
@chai2,
Quote:
You're obviously going out of your way to misinterpret my words.


How so? These are direct quotes from your replies.

Quote:
You already decided to let him tell you lies to ignore his drug use, then defend him when it's called to your attention.


Oh, thank you miss omnipotent one. Of course you'd know how much of a lying, scheming hoodlum he is from all the years you've spent raising this poor unfortunate soul.

And more so than defending this guy, I defend myself, because this could have easily have been my boyfriend on an advise forum a couple of years back when I was doing coke. If he'd have asked, you'd have told him that I was an addicted coke-head druggy with no way out that lies to cover up my drug use? Oh please! It wasn't a big thing in my life and I stopped. It wasn't difficult. I didn't lie to my loved ones about it either. Coke isn't a zombie machine that forces everyone who tries it to lie and become addicted to it. That's just ignorant.

If he really has stopped, like me and so many others have, great. We can continue on with our relationship. If not, we break up. Big deal. But I won't stand here and have you demonize people who have tried drugs before.
0 Replies
 
BillRM
 
  1  
Reply Tue 14 Aug, 2012 09:27 pm
@MMarciano,
Quote:
You’re 20 years old your boyfriend is a 24 year old liar and uses drugs. You’ll either marry him someday or wake up and find a healthy relationship. The ball is in your court.


You are being a complete asshole on this thread.
0 Replies
 
FOUND SOUL
 
  1  
Reply Wed 15 Aug, 2012 02:29 am
@Anonymous1234567890,
Quote:
Wait, he's your boyfriend, where are you going to be this NYE?


Anon
Quote:
I'm going to be spending it with him. He'll be 24 years old.


So his birthday falls on NYE? And, before you he would party with his mates and get high on his birthday?

Then you say 24 this year. Do you feel that's he's matured a bit more, that he obviously has agreed to spend this NYE with you, therefore, no mates, no Coke, is that the jist of it?

If so, then the question doesn't exist any more, it's past.

But then,

Quote:
But the thing is, it's not the past. It's the present. He told me he still does it every year for New Years.


How can that be mam, if you are spending NYE' with him THIS year? Smile
Linkat
 
  1  
Reply Wed 15 Aug, 2012 06:12 am
@chai2,
Yes I agree - please read my post. It isn't going to change your mind - and granted every situation is different - I think most of us actually have to experience it to learn it, but maybe in 20 years you will write the same thing (or close to it) that I did.
0 Replies
 
Anonymous1234567890
 
  0  
Reply Wed 15 Aug, 2012 09:26 pm
@FOUND SOUL,
Quote:
But the thing is, it's not the past. It's the present. He told me he still does it every year for New Years.


Quote:
How can that be mam, if you are spending NYE' with him THIS year?


Oh, that's a comment from before I talked to him and he told me he'd quit. After he said he'd quit, we decided to spend New Years together. Smile and his birthday is actually later in the year, so when New Years rolls around he'll be 24. Cool
0 Replies
 
Anonymous1234567890
 
  1  
Reply Wed 15 Aug, 2012 11:54 pm
@FOUND SOUL,
Quote:
...that he obviously has agreed to spend this NYE with you, therefore, no mates, no Coke, is that the jist of it?

If so, then the question doesn't exist any more, it's past.


Yup! Very Happy and you're right, the question doesn't exist anymore. It's the past. I wanted to know whether or not I should touch the subject with him again and I was advised to do so, so I did, and it worked out. I'm very happy now (^_^)
FOUND SOUL
 
  2  
Reply Thu 16 Aug, 2012 12:14 am
@Anonymous1234567890,
You know. Obviously, this is a new relationship of sorts for you. He was I suggest single before that and did what he wanted.

In my opinion now that we have established that this was the "past" Wink and that you have both made plans for NYE and that you have discussed how you feel about it and he has acknowledged that..and the guys here helped you and you are happy, that's great!

Don't bring it up with him again... Or you'll be viewed as a nag. On the same accord, a promise is a promise, lies are lies, remember that.

0 Replies
 
 

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