Should I ignore my boyfriends cocaine use if it's only once a year?

We've made a deal that if he ever does it, I'm taking away his prized golf clubs and he's not to play golf for a year. I'll keep a close eye on him and wait and see what happens.

Anonymous1234567890 wrote:

We've made a deal that if he ever does it, I'm taking away his prized golf clubs and he's not to play golf for a year. I'll keep a close eye on him and wait and see what happens.

you're going to be with him 24/7 ?

We had then broken up not directly due to coke use (in hindsight it definitely had an impact) – it was how he was treating me – showing up hours late to a planned date; suddenly not have much money – just overall odd behavior. He told me afterwards, he learned and wanted another chance. OK, we would take it slow. Not long after, I was over his apartment; he walked out of the room. I wasn’t searching, just looking around out of boredom – and show a piece of paper on his table (right out in the open). I picked it up without realizing that it folded neatly into a pocket you would put coke in.
I left him and didn’t look back. I realized then why we had these issues – and it seemed to stem from drug use, that I was too young to understand.

Not sure why you think Mr. Alexander's presentation to the Canadian Senate was anything more than an opinion piece.

Quote:

So, he is 23.
How many New Years Eve parties has he been to?

If he started going when he was 18, does that mean he's done coke 5 times?

Did he go to 5 parties in one night and so got to do coke 5 times?

Did all the New Year's parties he went to have to be more fun?

Okay, so I talked to him about it and he told me the details.

Key: 1 line = 2-3 inches long, half a wooden pencil to a full wooden pencil thick

21 years old: 1st time. New Years. He did 3 lines, then did 2 lines later at the same party.

22 years old: 2nd time. New Years. Did 3-4 lines at once.

22 years old: 3rd time. Thanksgiving. 1 line every hour. Took 4-5 lines in total.

23 years old: didn't do any. The friend that buys it couldn't find any.

He also said he only did it for parties because it was worthless alone, and only when he was offered to by his friends.

But you learn from these things. I am still a little bit sad about it. Was my most serious boyfriend I had until then. Really was a nice guy; really sweet and funny until seems starting changing a bit. And to top it off - his mom was a police officer.

What else is he doing? (drinking? pot? gambling? porn? overeating? addictive computer games?)

I have a feeling that there's more to all this than worrying about him using coke once a year.

you're going to be with him 24/7?

Drugs like this do change someone, and even if they stop, and change again, it's not to the original person they were.

Innocence lost.

It felt more like riding a roller coaster: you had fun, but then you got off and walked away to live the rest of your life.

That’s not the case for everyone. I’m sure some can walk away, others can’t.

I’ve never tried illegal drugs but I have known those that have, their not fun to be around IMO.

Just because you've tried drugs before, doesn't make you no longer fun to be around. Otherwise, half the people in the world would have no friends

Or will this lead to problems later on down the road?

There have been other little lies, like "I've never lost a game of Dota 2" but I can usually see through those.

I'm very happy in my relationship. We have a lot of things in common, we're very open and talk about everything, and we both understand that honesty sets the groundwork for a healthy relationship.

Every addict I know was going through a difficult time when they got addicted.

I believe that in america the exact number is 54%.

According to your other comments it doesn’t. So why ask?

So he’s a liar too.

You already said you caught him in little lies, if honesty sets the groundwork for a healthy relationship where does that leave yours?