Should I ignore my boyfriends cocaine use if it's only once a year?

@BillRM,

Bill, did you not read that I would read all this over later?

I'm doing other things while posting you know.

stop being impatient.

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@BillRM,

Not sure why you think Mr. Alexander's presentation to the Canadian Senate was anything more than an opinion piece.

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Alert to Bill Rimjob.

It is 6:25 CST and I am logging off.

I will be getting into my car at approximately 7:00pm and will be making a 45 minute drive to my home.

At that point, I will probably want to prepare a meal, shower and other misc. items.

I may not be online to read or post comments until after 9:15 tomorrow. I may however, be on and off here, but not to do extensive reading.

I do hope that's ok with you.

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@ehBeth,

Quote:

Not sure why you think Mr. Alexander's presentation to the Canadian Senate was anything more than an opinion piece.

He quoted/refer to a numbers of studies and facts or did you not see them?

Any fact that you have a question about can be check against the studies he names.

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@FOUND SOUL,

But the thing is, it's not the past. It's the present. He told me he still does it every year for New Years.

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@Anonymous1234567890,

If it matter to you tell him that the relationship depend on him promising never to used the drug at New Years or at any other times and if you find him doing so it a relationship ender.

1 Reply

@Anonymous1234567890,

If you believe that, you're easily fooled. He just pulled out the New Year's party excuse because he thought it would be an easily forgivable occasion. Then, once you've forgiven him for that, when you catch him doing it again, he can say, "Why are you making such a big deal about this? You didn't care if I do it on New Year's!" Then you're the bad guy. It's a classic script.

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@cicerone imposter,

Quote:

You need to study a bit about cocaine use; it's never "once a year" even though the user might claim it.

Do you have a study for this? (Cause with such an extreme claim as this you really should).

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@Eva,

Hmm that is a large leap to say the least and if she had a problem with any use of cocaine she can make it a deal breaker if she care to do so.

As far as using it rarely such as on New Year that might be true once more I go months without drinking but will do so in a fairly heavy manner when on an all you can drink and eat vacation in Cancun two times or so a year.

Oh when we are not on an all you can drink and eat plan we do not drink or so so very lightly.

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These hyped-up non-scientific dire warnings really bug me. They are completely false. I am not in favor of cocaine use, and I have never used it my self.

A quick Google finds several reputable scientific studies, including one from the World Health Organization, that show that occasional, low-dosage use is not only possible but quite common.

Yes, there are risks. But there are also facts. The responses on these threads, particularly the claims that occasional low-dosage use is guaranteed to cause problems even in the face of scientific evidence to the contrary are overblown.

Why not just tell the truth? Making up stuff to make a risky behavior more deadly than it really is doesn't help anyone.

http://www.tdpf.org.uk/WHOleaked.pdf

Quote:

However, substantial variability is found in relation to individual's vulnerability to cocaine action, and the majority of occasional cocaine users do not become addicted (Addiction Research Foundation, 1995).

http://www.unifr.ch/biochem/index.php?id=110

It is certainly possible that a once a year cocaine use is not a problem and will never be a problem. There is scientific research that there are people who engage in occasional low-dose use without ever becoming addicted.

Whether or not this is an issue in this particular relationship is up to the OP.

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@maxdancona,

maxdancona wrote:

...It is certainly possible that a once a year cocaine use is not a problem and will never be a problem...

Oh sure, it's possible. But not likely.

If I were the OP, I would remain skeptical.

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@maxdancona,

I have to agree. I know plenty of people that are very casual drug users. None of them are addicted and most only touch the stuff once in a blue moon. Addicts are easily found out, but it's not uncommon for people to take a hit and walk away. Not everyone that touches drugs gets messed up or even has the inclination.
That sky is not necessarily falling.

I've never touched coke.. just saying.

1 Reply

@Ceili,

drugs (Acid, hash, coke, pot) have always been a positive in my life, though I refrain from recommending them due to the number of people who get into trouble with them. I should probably stop promoting my favorite Rye, Gin, vodka etc on the same grounds, but somehow never do.

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@chai2,

Quote:

So, he is 23.
How many New Years Eve parties has he been to?

If he started going when he was 18, does that mean he's done coke 5 times?

Did he go to 5 parties in one night and so got to do coke 5 times?

Did all the New Year's parties he went to have to be more fun?

Okay, so I talked to him about it and he told me the details.

Key: 1 line = 2-3 inches long, half a wooden pencil to a full wooden pencil thick

21 years old: 1st time. New Years. He did 3 lines, then did 2 lines later at the same party.

22 years old: 2nd time. New Years. Did 3-4 lines at once.

22 years old: 3rd time. Thanksgiving. 1 line every hour. Took 4-5 lines in total.

23 years old: didn't do any. The friend that buys it couldn't find any.

He also said he only did it for parties because it was worthless alone, and only when he was offered to by his friends.

1 Reply

@BillRM,

Quote:

If it matter to you tell him that the relationship depend on him promising never to used the drug at New Years or at any other times and if you find him doing so it a relationship ender.

Alright, so I asked if he knew any of the health risks, and he said he never really researched it. So I did the research for him and sent him many links and talked to him about it. I also told him how it would affect not only us, but his family and his career as well.

Then he said it wasn't a big deal to him and that if it upset me then he would never do it again (talking about strokes and heart attacks might have made this decision easier). I told him that would make me very happy. He said okay and that he gives me his word that he won't do it anymore. We've made a deal that if he ever does it, I'm taking away his prized golf clubs and he's not to play golf for a year. I'll keep a close eye on him and wait and see what happens.

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@Anonymous1234567890,

Wait, he's your boyfriend, where are you going to be this NYE?

Isn't that a time that you two should be together now, as you are together. Assuming that you weren't before?

4 lines is heavy duty for someone, 1 line is enough for a beginner.. I'm glad you showed him some of the sites regarding heart failure. Too many people do things thinking "pfttt, that's cool, I'm young give a shirt" and find themselves dead.

I hope he means it but, I want to know why you won't be with him on NYE.

1 Reply

@Anonymous1234567890,

Quote:

Alright, so I asked if he knew any of the health risks, and he said he never really researched it. So I did the research for him and sent him many links and talked to him about it. I also told him how it would affect not only us, but his family and his career as well.

It is your right to set any conditions you care to do so but a once in a blue moon user that is otherwise health is not at any great health risk by using Cocaine.

Your concerns is that he is a secret coke head not that he is going to fall over dead at 23.

Maybe you should be more honest yourself in the relationship?

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Let's forget about the drug issue for a moment and focus on the relationship issue.

You aren't going to change your boyfriend. You can't change your boyfriend. You have have no right to change your boyfriend. If there is something (anything) that is part of his life you don't approve of, it is not your job to fix him.

You have two choices here. Either accept this behavior from your boyfriend, or leave him.

Any idea that you are going to swoop in and save him, or with the power of will and love get him to change his evil ways, is foolishness in any issue of any relationship.

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@maxdancona,

If there is some minor pleasure I take part in, once in a blue moon, I would have no problem giving it up at the require of someone I care about.

However if he is a coke head as so many here claimed he must be then that is not likely to occur.

So to sum up if he is indeed a casual user of cocaine then there is no reason why he would not give it up for her if it more then that, then it is not likely he will do so.

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@FOUND SOUL,

Quote:

Wait, he's your boyfriend, where are you going to be this NYE?

I'm going to be spending it with him. Very Happy

He'll be 24 years old.

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Should I ignore my boyfriends cocaine use if it's only once a year?

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