Mental Decline & Dependency/Coping With Aging Loved Ones

This morning, mother told nurses that she had pain on her (operated) hip side.
X-rayed. Result: hip/bone dislocated, adjusted under anaesthesia in the early afternoon, leg and hip "fixed" to avoid hip/bones to rotate.

This can be done one time, the ward surgeon told me. If it happens again, mother has to be operated a second time.

So she's not changing the wards but stays in the accident surgery's ward for at least another week.

Sorry to hear this Walter. I hope the fix takes and your mother heals fast.

Thanks, Swimpy, however ...


... mother has become 'unsettled' (again), wants to go home ... and they fear (correctly, in my opinion) that she might try that.
(She's not drinking enough, they try to convince her, give NaCl 0.9 - infusions, but ...)

So they had to fix a stick (sic!) in a bandage on her foot, trying to prevend her from using her feet, especially the right foot, where the new hip is.

However ...

So I gave the allowance (especially for the night shift, and only when it is necessary) to use bed rails and - what I really don't like but it's for her own safety - even to tie her on the bed. [Have to inform the court about the latter tomorrow.]

Good luck, Walter. I sympathize with your ordeal.
(remember: "this too shall pass")

True. Thanks, JL!

Also paying attention to what you are coping with, Walter, with some understanding for mother and aunt as well. As I told Dys today, I envy you your health system, at least to the extent I understand it.

Thanks, osso.

I've been twice to hospital last night, since the nurse on the night shift and I agreed that medical restraints really should be the very last possible alternative ... So I told her again and again that she couldn't go home since she had undergone an operation and had to wait a bit until the doctors give their okay ...

Nevertheless, I have to report to a judge today.

It is the lesser of two evils, Walter. She simple has to stay put until that hip heals. She can't be made to understand due to her dementia. Even Solomon would make the choice you have to make today.

Walter, How's Mom?

Very bad (mentally) today, again.

On Thursday (may be already Wednesday), she got a new "air"-bed, where the bed rails are clearly a safety add; thus no court order is necessary.

She wants to go home all the time (alternatively to our home).

And she doesn't drink. Which results in even more confusion (she gets NaCl-injections, though).

She doesn't know/forgets why she is where.

At least, she knows who I am (the other lady in her room always addresses me as 'Doctor' ...).

They really do what they can in the hospital and even more - but no-one can a) stay 24/24 at mother's bed, b) meet her "wishes".




All this isn't positive for the heeling, too. So the ward doctor told me tonight that it will be Monday next week before they try to get mother "on her feet".

Oh dear. Sorry to hear that. I hope the new bed at least will keep her from hurting herself. Hugs to you and Mrs. Walter. I hope you are getting enough rest.

Thanks, Swimpy. (No better news today [Tuesday].)

Mother's still on the accident-surgery ward. However, since Monday her foot isn't in cast anymore and light physiotherapy started. Today, she's back in a 'normal' bed instead of the air-bed.

Her mood is a lot better but ...

... she wants to go "home".
Today, the deputy head of the geriatric ward gave his okay for another two weeks there (same hospital, as said), for a "complex therapy".


Because the therapy there is a lot better than what could be done in the home, I "decided" (as legal guardian) that she'll go there (Friday coming week it is).


I do understand that noby likes to stay six weeks in a hospital and then gets announced she has to stay there for another two weeks but ...

... she can't walk more than two, three steps just now.

Today was the first day she asked why my sister didn't visit her.


Aunt is "feeling bad", but quite content (it seems) that I visit her .... even more than usually.

Forgot to mention that mother still has wear (probably for quite a long time, since she got it from the insurance) this "Artomaxx Newport".

Sorry to interrupt this thread in this way but ...

For those of you who are familiar with Tomkitten, go to the following thread and leave your comments and best wishes to tomkitten's wife:
http://able2know.org/topic/133893-1#post-3696008

Tomkitten is still alive, Ragman. She just wants to delete her husband's membership (he died more than a year ago).

Walter - what a hard time you all are having. I hope your mother's pain can get down to where you don't have to worry whether it's real or just in her wandering thoughts - although, from her point of view I guess it's all real. And I hope you don't wear yourself out completely; the strain is truly exhausting.

I know when Bob was in a the hospital in the town next door, less than 20 minutes away, our social worker & nurse told me I shouldn't make twice a day visits, even though the geographical distance was nothing. They said it wouldn't help Bob if I fell apart, and I knew they were right, but it wasn't easy to restrain myself.

I remember when my mother was hospitalized with pneumonia they had to use cloth restraints to keep her from climbing out of bed and wandering around - but she managed to undo them and got out anyway - very unnerving for everyone. With Bob's last hospitalization they provided a sitter to watch him which was good, but it took the E.R. hours to line one up; I didn't get home till 8 that morning which isn't something that's happened to me since I was a young and foolish butterfly.

Change of subject: I don't know what the problem is, but I only get occasional updates in this thread, or I'd be keeping up better with what's going on.

Thanks, Tomkitten, you described exactly how it is .... and, of course, I do remember that we "talked" about it here.

I've learnt. I don't take anything personal (well, I always try not to take it personal). I take her words serious, but with an understanding of her illness(es).




I've no idea re updates since I never used them.

Just got a phone call from the ward's doctor: the hip is -again- dislocated. They'll asked my for allowance to adjust it (under anaesthesia) again.
Later, another operation is due: either a new hip, a new "head" of the bone or both.

****!!!

They couln't fix it, neither under local nor under "full" anaesthesia.

So she'll get another operation tomorrow, and what really will be done then can only be decided when the operating surgeons look at it, see what happens when they do .... what they can do/have to do.

I had had some long talks with the leading doctor of the anaestesia as well as with deputy head surgeon.
I'm sure that they know what to do and that they'll do the best what can be done.

It's not something where you can be certain of a good outcome, though.