Firstly, you have my best wishes for your future
Secondly - because these sorts of things interest me, I'll make an observation, which you may consider or discard as you wish :
Your posts lead me to conclude that you are withholding information you consider vital to providing any actually relevant advice. I base this thought on a number of factors :
- I very clearly didn't make any assumption that he is having an affair - I clearly provided an example only of how other factors may influence behaviours (Found Soul has the right of it). You've used that 'interpretation' of yours to give permission to yourself to take a victim mentality in your reply post.
- An assumption that you are his wife is not something most people would get upset about when you ask such a question after having stated you've been together six years.
- you avoided the question of triggers, which are still missing from your reply.
Combine this with : If you go back and look at the example of a person having an affair, and blaming their spouse for it...you'll see the comparable behaviour (blaming another for your own behaviour) in to your reply post to me. People normally only engage in this sort of behaviour (victim mentallity/blaming for no apparent reason) when, even as they are asking for advice, they are withholding information they consider very relevant.
It's okay if you don't want to share it - that is your right. But if you are withholding relevant information, it's pointless blaming someone that you asked advice of while doing so.
Once again, you have my best wishes in resolving this situation.