What IS IT with this gurl??? please help

I may be very wrong about this. I see her reluctance to meet you in person as a bit of a problem. You may see your relationsip as a sort of bonding between people. I feel she sees this as an outlet for her personal life, which she does not really want a person, face to face, to discuss with.

I would suggest continuing to be a friend to her. I would not suggest any further expectation. Net people often tell you only part of the real story, just the parts they are willing to discuss or admit to, which isn't always honest at all.

What I would suggest for you is not meeting people over the net, but making more of a social effort with people face to face and getting to know people on a deeper basis, if you happen to like that person. Never give a net relationship or phone calls to someone who hesitates to meet you in person much emotion in your life. You deserve better.

Perhaps she enjoys the relationship for what it is. There is something different about a net closeness - it encourages intimacy of a special sort - especially, I think, between the genders, since - unless you are both trying to "pick up" - there is the fun of the meeting of differently gendered minds, with none of the baggage of the normal social interaction.

I can recall spending a lot of time chatting to one fella, and being quite shocked when I first heard his voice - it made the gender reality suddenly real - plus the oddness of flesh and bloodness after an electrical entity - I really couldn't cope, at first.

I know you guys speak on the phone and such - I am just using an analogy about what MIGHT be happening.

I guess you can make it plain that you would like to meet, but I do not think you should be pushing. Perhaps encouraging from time to time, if you sense there is a little hesitation, rather than a clear decision. Maybe bring it up from time to time. I have no idea if she is "playing" at anything - why would she be?

Perhaps she does have some things she would like to tell you, to test the waters. Perhaps encourage her to tell you, and see what happens - I assume you can be trusted not to tell her secrets to anyone?

A Man As A Voice on the Phone can be far more wise, witty and understanding that a Man In the Flesh who puts his trousers on one leg at a time.

Right now she's very fond of you--as a myth, a demigod.

She's not sure she wants to play mortals.

One question: Have you seen pictures of each other? I know it sounds shallow, but it does matter.

Thank you for the reply everyone -
To answer the last question : DId we see pictures o f each other? Yes we did. She looks very good (hot lol) and to her, I look very cute and I have a baby face. She even saw me on t.v once. So in other words, we have a clear idea of "how we look like and might be" in real life.
As for you guys who are saying that she might not be 'comfortable' with a real life meeting after a long net relationship....well....she's met guys from the net before. MANY guys. She's used to it. It's like a hobby she has. She aint got no prob when it comes to online real life meetings...
Besides, she used to go into a relationship with a boyfriend for like a month or two..sometimes a few days and then break up. So you see she's generally used to all that. But the difference is that we have a very close relatonship...much more close than the guys she used to meet before..im a serious guy and she likes that...
Perhaps I should give it another try.
When should I do it and how?
And another thing - she has secrets she feels like telling me about..but she's worried about my reactions, thinking I might change my mind about her.
How can I make her realize im a flexible person with very stable reactions and encourage her to speak out?

Thanks again guys

vonderjohn- Your friend says that she has "secrets"..........................Her secrets could be:

She's married

The picture is 20 years old

The picture is not of her.

It is often difficult to be able to determine what a person is REALLY like from just chatting on the net, or even on the phone. I am not saying that she is a fraud, but you always have to be aware of the possibility, I think that the fact that that she is reluctant to meet you should send up a smoke signal.

If it were me, I would continue the chat if I enjoyed it, but not have any more expectations of the relationship. If she changes her mind about meeting you later,..........................well, wait and see!

I don't know why, but this reminds me of that Israeli guy who fell in love over the Internet with a Palestinian woman and when he finally went to meet her, she welcomed him with a band of terrorists who dragged him out of his car and murdered him.

Be careful!!!

Better yet, find someone new.

She also might want a guy friend who is just a friend, separate from the serial dating. If you don't want to be just a friend, that's your right, but she might appreciate having someone she can talk to openly without the whole sex subtext.

Sozobe - if what she wanted was "just a friend" she wouldn't be seducing him with stories about sleeping naked with another guy.

And since "sleeping naked" is no big deal to Western women, other possibilities present themselves.

katya, there isn't enough information to say one way or another. When I was single, I'd tell female friends about my adventures, in detail -- was I trying to seduce them?

Maybe she is f'n with you, you know getting a laugh out of stringing you along.

Also, don't try to start a relationship with someone after meeting on the Internet....Oh yeah, maybe she is a 45 year old bald man.

"....I have a baby-face."

How old are you, VonderJohn?

Also.....has it occurred to you in your passionate desire, that if this woman has already met a whole lot of assorted internet men, she might also bestow a whole lot of assorted VD's on you?

And lastly but not leastly:
Why is a serious fellow like you, wanting to fall in love with a fly-by-night like her?

Thanks for the comments guys, once again.
Alright - for those who are doubting she might be a man..or a 56 year old married woman..or anything similar : I'm 100% sure she isn't...we talk regularly on the phone, she's a university student and my friends do know her.
By the way she is not a woman..she's 19, and im 20. She's not western. We're both in the middle east

About her not wanting to be more than a friend? Well .. I can see signs of attraction: (or interest)
1) She sends me messages several times a day..sometimes right before she sleeps..and right after she wakes up
2) She thinks of me everyday. (I do the same)
3) She says things like "do you miss me?" "I like you" "you're a great guy" ...we were once joking about sex and she said it would be her pleasure to do it with me ...
4) We talk about personal stuff, and she has the tendency to tell me about her secrets. This shows trust.

Oh wait I just got a message from her..

okay back..
well...its past midnight and she sent me a goodnight message while she's in bed! I mean - I don't think she would do that to a FRIEND you know..not to any kind of friend at least. This obviously shows that the girl IS thinking of me quite often..
Well im pretty much doing the same too...

I have no doubts about the 'being' of this girl...but her previous experiences do trigger a question:
What kind of experience is she looking for now??

We talked about that once and she told me she's been into so many bad experiences she doesn't feel like going into one again...unless its really serious and worthful.
I am a serious guy..and what we have between us is definitely worthful...so if there is a good candidate..it would be me. And she SHOWS an attraction.

Now how and when should I do the approach???
Should it be gradual or all of a sudden?
How long should I wait before the whole thing simply fades away..or..just turns "off" ?

Lots of questions in my mind. Im doing my best to get some answers..but I do need some luck

Thanks again guys

Should never have gotten involved in a long distance thing. But now that you are, just tell her exactly how you feel and take it from there. If she doesn't like what you say and says "never talk to me again", F her...she is probably fat. If she says "I agree, let's do it!", the you have everything you wanted. Good Luck broseph.

It's not a long distance thing.
We live 10 minutes away by car
Her university is 15 minutes away by foot
We're in the same city lol
Nothing to do with the distance.....so if I want to do the approach i'd rather do it live, face to face.

Then what the hell is the problem with ya'll meeting?!?!

Nablus University?


Oh, hell.....why should I care?

i think that's exactly vonderjohn's question.

Ebeth, Indeed

VJ, Have you seen pictures of each other?

If so, you might not be physically attracted to you.

If not, she may be ashamed of her body.