I think that you are placing a big emphasis on him being an immigrant and a feel of responsibility of failure to his family as one thing. And, in saying that, therefore, you have listened to the words of his Mother who seems to be trying to place the guilt back onto you, all-be-it that she admits that her son is controlling. She is basically saying, get used to it, get over it and work out your marriage. I don't agree.
I also think that as you are nearly 23, this person that you married possibly has been in your life the longest as far as relationships go and you are working on a "dream" . The dream of what you believe marriage should be about, intimacy, love, bonding, togetherness. You can not state that this person is the person you love the most. I think it's all you know, that's all.
I am sorry for the loss of your Father.
But, the pain you felt in my opinion, was one of betrayal. One of, "look at all I have put up with and yet, in addition you do this".
We have one life to live in this World. No one person has the right to control where you work, who you hang out with, who you speak to, how you dress. You have lost your identity. That is what control is all about. And, you state that you are somewhat weak, that is what controlling people look for.
He has issues. They run very deep and he needs immediate help. I would suggest that you do not go back, that you make him seek help for his anger and that you remain where you are and see if he can get it under control. I would also suggest that in the meantime, you work where you want to, do the things you want to, become yourself, your own identity and work on that and see how you feel.
You are forgetting a major factor above anything here. MEN DO NOT HIT WOMEN. Is your life not that important enough that you are prepared to take the risk of being severely injured where by you may not ever be able to walk, talk? Or worse.
This is his chance for him to prove himself ..
This is your chance to find yourself.
If he can control it, after months of sessions and confirmation not from him but from his Doctor that he/she believes that your husband can.. You can then decide.
I don't believe you are in a position to make any decisions at present about staying or going as I feel you will make the wrong one and stay.. And, that concerns me that you are prepared to take a risk against a physical abuser with your life.