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i have knw this guy for 10 years and he is 6 years elder to me. we dated in past but broke up coz he had to go to nda.he is a naval officer.when he came back i was dating someone but dint tell him so he felt like i betrayed him. but we still remained friends.now for all these years we still kept in touch although most times it was difficult coz of his transfer n all.now we have been chatting regularly n are really good friends.we even slept together.but he doesnt want to get committed coz he is afraid dat it will ruin our friendship and he values it more den nething.and i believe dat.also he is suffering from polysistic kidney disorder.so he doesnt want to get married ever.now i have no i dea wat i should do.or where we stand.
he is not seeing ne other girl,and he is very caring n loving and makes sure dat even in his schedule he doesn't ignore me or hurt me.but he will still not commit.i have tried reasoning wid him but he still wont budge.so i really dont knw wat to do or how to behave or react to this situation.all he wants is to remain friend till end .plz help

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@rose9,

So becoming committed would ruin your friendship, but sleeping with you wouldn't?

Run, don't walk, away from this guy. Forget that he is sick. Forget, even, that you are friends. You are convenient and familiar to him, but he is using you. I'm sorry.

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@rose9,

Yeah, I am with jespah here. This man is using you - once you sleep with a guy, the friendship is a relationship and you cannot get back to being a casual acquaintance. He definitely is taking advantage of you and you are wasting your time with him.
Look for someone who appreciates you and is committed to you!

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At least he is honest with you. He is saying he cannot commit to you but will go for a romp in the hay once in a while.

So there you have it.

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@rose9,

Doesn't alarm bells go off in anyone elses mind reading this post ?

Look at the language this girl uses? Seriously, it's worse than most very poorly educated 12 year olds. That is to say - alarm bells go off because, what is the age if this kid?

Having asked what her age is - she states she's known him for 10 years...usually if you meet at a young age, you go 'I've known him since I was 9 years old'...which would suggest she is older than a teenager - but the writing is extremely juvenile.

And her guy being a naval officer? You have to be well educated to be accepted to enter the Navy as an officer. That puts these two at vastly different ends of the relationship attraction spectrum.

I'm thinking troll.

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@vikorr,

sir,
i am really sorry that my language offended you, but you see when i was writing this question i was really upset and my prime motto was to get someone else's point of view so that it might help me clear out some confusion,and not to prove my educational qualification or my upbringing.
But since you were so much more interested in pointing out why me and my friend our not suitable for each other because of my language just goes to prove your upbringing, not mine.
and since your answer was in no way related to the question i should mention that in future please refrain from giving advise as it will only cause more trouble to people who post their problems.
and just for your knowledge i am well educated have completed my engineering and i am working in reputed firm.so please stop being so judgmental.
Thank you your help was not needed!!!

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@rose9,

I suspect your answer is within these quotes from your post:

Quote:

we dated in past but broke up coz he had to go to nda.he is a naval officer.when he came back i was dating someone but dint tell him so he felt like i betrayed him.

Quote:

but he doesnt want to get committed coz he is afraid dat it will ruin our friendship and he values it more den nething.and i believe dat.

Quote:

he is very caring n loving and makes sure dat even in his schedule he doesn't ignore me or hurt me.but he will still not commit.i have tried reasoning wid him but he still wont budge.

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@rose9,

Lmao,

I'm still thinking troll Laughing

By the way - your language didn't offend, though it was ugly to read.

I was pointing out the inconsistencies in your story. If you're going to troll, at least make it believable.

Quote:

and just for your knowledge i am well educated have completed my engineering and i am working in reputed firm.so please stop being so judgmental.

Nor do I believe this AT ALL...dear god :
- I doubt you even went to university - they mark you down for poor format, spelling, presentation etc. 3-4 years of that trains you to a much better standard.
- Then there is that Engineering is only offered to the most intelligent students. Do you even comprehend just how intelligence affects your language skills?
- Then there is that your standard of writing would never be acceptable in in a business setting, let alone for engineering reports.

No, not believable at all.

1 Reply

@vikorr,

I don't know the OP from Adam (or Eve, for that matter), but I do know my own father. He has a Masters in Electrical Engineering and is a PE. The man is over 80 and still gets there, their and they're confused.

1 Reply

@jespah,

Old peoples brains can deteriorate (sadly, some start to deteriorate in their 50's, but that is rare - after the late 60's it becomes more and more common). I can't say that shows anything (one way or another), other than he is very old.

Let's say he was always this way - that's fine (no one said intelligence = perfection, but there is a direct correllation between intelligence and language skill/usage). If you knew him far enough back to have known him in his middle years - how was his language skill & usage then?

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@vikorr,

why are you so hell bend upon rectifying peoples language does emotions and sentiments mean nothing to you!!!!!! and if not then you are in wrong forum cause here its all about feelings.so go take a hike you arrogant jerk.and in navy its allowed to abuse.

1 Reply

@rose9,

Do a search on my posts in the relationship forum. Emotions are fine when genuine. As I've said - I don't you just made your story up, and I call very few people trolls.

I don't really care much about your language (though the initial post was awful in language terms) - but I am saying your level & use of language severely contradicts your story...as do other aspects of your story.

My opinion on you hasn't changed. I think you just got caught out.

1 Reply

@vikorr,

Dear god did my english suck ! Laughing

Show's I should proof read Shocked

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@vikorr,

I've known him for 50 years and he couldn't spell then, either.

1 Reply

@jespah,

Fair enough Smile

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