17
   

Dick Cheney receives heart transplant

 
 
jcboy
 
Reply Sat 24 Mar, 2012 07:26 pm
Yes its true, the man really does have a heart.

Quote:
(CBS News) Former Vice President Dick Cheney received a heart transplant on Saturday, his office announced.

A statement from the former vice president's office said the 71-year-old is now recovering in the intensive care unit of Inova Fairfax Hospital in Falls Church, Va., outside Washington.

The statement said Cheney had been on the transplant list for 20 months and did not know the identity of the donor.


http://www.cbsnews.com/8301-503544_162-57403969-503544/dick-cheney-receives-heart-transplant/
  • Topic Stats
  • Top Replies
  • Link to this Topic
Type: Discussion • Score: 17 • Views: 5,133 • Replies: 89

 
Green Witch
 
  6  
Reply Sat 24 Mar, 2012 07:50 pm
@jcboy,
They don't mention if donor died of a gun shot to face, or not.
edgarblythe
 
  7  
Reply Sat 24 Mar, 2012 07:51 pm
He got a heart? Oh, I don't think there's anything in that black bag for me.
JTT
 
  3  
Reply Sat 24 Mar, 2012 07:55 pm
@jcboy,
Quote:
The statement said Cheney had been on the transplant list for 20 months and did not know the identity of the donor, but doctors had insisted that it be a serial killer, serial rapist, sexual predator, Wall St banker, fellow war criminal or someone of a similar background or the heart would almost certainly be rejected.


dlowan
 
  1  
Reply Sat 24 Mar, 2012 08:16 pm
@jcboy,
He may have NOW.

Bet the first one died of shame.
0 Replies
 
snood
 
  3  
Reply Sat 24 Mar, 2012 08:22 pm
Wonder if he used a human donor.
dlowan
 
  2  
Reply Sat 24 Mar, 2012 08:31 pm
@snood,
I'm an organ donor....if my heart went to Cheney, this would play at my funeral:



MMarciano
 
  6  
Reply Sat 24 Mar, 2012 08:38 pm
A heart transplant is not something I'd choose to make light of. I wish him a speedy recovery and good health but I do feel sorry for the pig.
Eva
 
  7  
Reply Sat 24 Mar, 2012 08:40 pm
What amazes me is that he managed to live for 71 years without one.
MMarciano
 
  2  
Reply Sat 24 Mar, 2012 08:40 pm
@Eva,
Now that gave me a good laugh! Very Happy
0 Replies
 
Ragman
 
  1  
Reply Sat 24 Mar, 2012 08:44 pm
@MMarciano,
Here, Here. that is very appropriate and you should be commended for your sensitivity. Having a heart transplant, IMHO, is an act of desperation but REALLY wanting to live. He's gone a long suffering precarious time with his damaged heart. I wish him a speedy recovery.

However, once he's recovered if he got hit by a truck AFTER all that, I'd not be upset about that too much. I just would hate to see him suffer.
firefly
 
  2  
Reply Sat 24 Mar, 2012 09:39 pm
@Ragman,
I wish him a speedy recovery as well. It would be a shame to waste that donor heart.

That said...
Quote:

Dick Cheney’s Heart Transplant Not Going Exactly As Expected
January 26, 2011.

Surgeons have had great difficulty with fitting former President of Vice Dick Cheney (aka- ‘Tricky Dicky the Second’) with a transplanted heart. Each attempt to put a foreign heart into the open breast of Mr. Cheney has resulted in rejection- not Mr. Cheney’s body rejecting the heart but rather in a show of patriotic, defiant, graft versus host disease sort of way, the heart is rejecting Mr. Cheney.
The latest procedure ended when the most recent heart upon being put into the chest cavity jumped out and ran out of the surgery gallery screaming “AAAGGGGGHHHH!!! ITS ICE COLD IN THERE! ITS DARK AND REALLY CREEPY! LET ME OUT OF HERE! ANYTHING BUT THERE!! AAAAGHHHHH!!!!”.

Similar experiences occurred with other hearts that doctors have attempted to put into the former dictator of Halliburton. Usually the surgical staff had to chase the fleeing heart down the hospital hallways trying to catch it, often ending with the little organ choosing self-destruction rather than implantation into the world-famous torture advocate.

The hearts have been known to jump screaming out of hospital windows, drown themselves in acid baths, impale themselves on surgical knives and poison themselves on hospital cafeteria food. One heart, when cornered by hospital staff, choose to strangle itself with its own aorta rather than be taken. Another, successfully implanted into the most famous legal dictator’s chest, turned purple and withered immediately from the toxic shock.

In a desperate attempt to get a heart for the ailing ex-mini despot, surgeons contacted a Mayan group specializing in the ritual sacrifice of a female virgin that their ancestors had been so famous for in its pre-Columbus history.

For an undisclosed amount from the Cheney Charitable Fund For Saving My Own Ass (CCFFSMOA), the Mayan priests sacrificed a young woman by cutting her still beating heart out on an alter in a religious ceremony and shipped it immediately to America where an emergency procedure installed it.

Unfortunately, having a female heart in the world’s most famous Darth Vader impersonator made the big man more compassionate, feminine and understanding of others, qualities that Mr. Cheney couldn’t abide by and he had it ripped out immediately.

The next plan involved approaching the Great And Powerful Wizard Of Oz for help in getting the former water boarding enthusiast a heart just as he had done with the Tin Man. The Great And Powerful Wizard Of Oz came out, took one look at the former U.S. Treasury money sucker and said, “I’m a wizard not God Almighty who can perform impossible miracles,” and left.

A solution was finally reached when the heart of an Asian Komodo dragon was successfully put into the famous draft dodger’s rib cage. Komodo dragons are, by nature, cold blooded, merciless and ruthlessly aggressive, making the transplant a huge success and leaving the highly acclaimed chicken hawk with a feeling of immense success, satisfaction and a strange sexual longing for a female Komodo.
http://glossynews.com/society/health/201101260448/dick-cheneys-heart-transplant-not-going-exactly-as-expected/

Quote:
Cheney Receives Heart Transplant; Bush Still on Waiting List for Brain

FALLS CHURCH, VA (The Borowitz Report) – Former Vice President Dick Cheney received a heart transplant today, but former President George W. Bush remained on a waiting list for a brain, hospital officials confirmed.

As part of a government contract signed while he was still Vice President, Halliburton performed the reconstruction work on Mr. Cheney’s circulatory system at a cost to taxpayers of $14.2 billion.

The doctor who performed the surgery called the procedure “extremely invasive – just the way the Vice President wanted it.”

A hospital spokesman said that Mr. Cheney was expected to make a full recovery, but that he was “somewhat disoriented” coming out of anesthesia: “When we asked him who the President of the United States was, he said, ‘Is it still me?’”

Minutes later, though, Mr. Cheney was reportedly alert, chatting with his doctors, and shooting people in the face.

Former President Bush made an appearance at the former Vice President’s hospital, hanging a “Mission Accomplished” banner in Mr. Cheney’s room hours before the operation was completed.
http://www.borowitzreport.com/2012/03/25/cheney-receives-heart-transplant-bush-still-on-waiting-list-for-brain/

JTT
 
  -2  
Reply Sat 24 Mar, 2012 09:48 pm
@firefly,
Quote:
I wish him a speedy recovery as well.


I can only imagine that comments such as these are way tongue in cheek.

Or that more will be forthcoming with expressions of sorrow for Hitler, Pol Pot, Stalin and the like.
hingehead
 
  2  
Reply Sat 24 Mar, 2012 10:12 pm
Technically wouldn't it be called a heart implant? #latejumpingonthebandwagon
0 Replies
 
OmSigDAVID
 
  1  
Reply Sat 24 Mar, 2012 11:51 pm
@Green Witch,
Green Witch wrote:
They don't mention if donor died of a gun shot to face, or not.
Thay were good friends.
That is Y thay were on that hunting trip together.

I wish VP Cheney great joy & comfort in a very long earthly life.
He is among my favorite people.





David
firefly
 
  3  
Reply Sun 25 Mar, 2012 12:28 am
Quote:
Slamming Obamacare, Cheney said Obama has "enacted a program that a great many people are very worried about. And that there's a lot of support out there for the effort to repeal that health care package."


Quote:
Since the first heart transplant was performed by the South African surgeon Christiian Barnard in 1967, the operation has become common, though it remains an arduous, risky and costly procedure. Most patients stay in the hospital for about a month after surgery, and recent studies estimate that first-year costs for a heart transplant and follow-up care are close to $1 million.
http://www.nytimes.com/2012/03/25/us/politics/dick-cheney-recovering-after-getting-a-new-heart.html?hp

Maybe this transplant will help Cheney to have a heart, and support universal health care coverage, and higher caps on medical coverage, so others might be able to afford the cost of the life saving surgery, and all of the other care and treatments, that he has had access to.
OmSigDAVID
 
  0  
Reply Sun 25 Mar, 2012 01:45 am
@firefly,

Quote:
Slamming Obamacare, Cheney said Obama has "enacted a program that a great many people are very worried about. And that there's a lot of support out there for the effort to repeal that health care package."


Quote:
Since the first heart transplant was performed by the South African surgeon Christiian Barnard in 1967, the operation has become common, though it remains an arduous, risky and costly procedure. Most patients stay in the hospital for about a month after surgery, and recent studies estimate that first-year costs for a heart transplant and follow-up care are close to $1 million.
http://www.nytimes.com/2012/03/25/us/politics/dick-cheney-recovering-after-getting-a-new-heart.html?hp
firefly wrote:
Maybe this transplant will help Cheney to have a heart, and support universal health care coverage, and higher caps on medical coverage, so others might be able to afford the cost of the life saving surgery, and all of the other care and treatments, that he has had access to.
Maybe it will NOT move him to support obama's USURPATIONS of power,
in defiance of the Constitution that intimidate people to buy insurance against their will.





David
farmerman
 
  3  
Reply Sun 25 Mar, 2012 06:48 am
@OmSigDAVID,
Quote:
support obama's USURPATIONS of power,
in defiance of the Constitution that intimidate people to buy insurance against their will.


Well now, isnt that what the SUpreme Court will rle on in the next fewmonths?. Most Constittional Lawyers present on an MGM special about this issue claimed that these"Usrpations" are actually some libertarians wet dream based on false claims of the ARticles of COnfederation and not the Constitution .So, probably the USSC will find in favor of the administration. If thats the case, the USSC will probably not take too long. If they find in favor of the plaintiffs, they will pprobably drag it out closer to the election so it can favor a GOP candidate.


Hmmm cynical? maybe but thats really what weve become.
farmerman
 
  2  
Reply Sun 25 Mar, 2012 06:49 am
@jcboy,
Quote:
Yes its true, the man really does have a heart.
Sure NOW.
raprap
 
  2  
Reply Sun 25 Mar, 2012 07:14 am
@farmerman,
Probably not a human heart. Somehow an acceptable heart for Cheney would have to come from a Jackal.

Rap
 

Related Topics

 
  1. Forums
  2. » Dick Cheney receives heart transplant
Copyright © 2021 MadLab, LLC :: Terms of Service :: Privacy Policy :: Page generated in 0.03 seconds on 09/24/2021 at 08:22:50