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Can She Fall Back In Love If I Give It Time?

 
 
Reply Tue 20 Mar, 2012 02:43 am
I dated a 20 year old girl for a year and a half. She fell in love with me after a few months. She told me she loved me. But I wouldn't tell her I loved her back. I'd had a relationship prior that had lasted 3 years and had ended in a messy breakup, thus I told her I opened up slower as a result. She stopped saying it.

For the next year or so we dated and she would bring it up every couple of months. She would be upset and in tears. Our relationship was perfect, otherwise. But now I know I'm just plain stupid. I thought I was doing enough to keep her happy but her fire for me was secretly dying because I was never expressing that I loved her.

She stayed with me 5 nights out of 7. We were always laughing and having fun and we did everything together. We were very passionate. We were comfy and at peace with each other.

This Valentine's Day I still didn't say "I Love You." Even after she wrote it to me in a card and had expressed it herself. I'm so ashamed. That was the last straw for her. She immediately became numb to me. We hung out for 2 weeks before I even realized she had taken a step back.

A few nights ago she said she couldn't do it anymore and right then everything just poured out of me. I loved her so much. I'd just never said it. She listened and temporarily agreed to trying again but said going back with me "will take a leap of faith." I told her all night I loved her, and the next morning too. But when we went out the following night she seemed so disconnected and then told me she'd "already checked out". I asked if there was anything I could do to change her mind and she just cried and said, "I'm sorry."

I didn't say anything hurtful or get angry. I just left her with friends and got out of there. The next day she came with her best friend to get her stuff. I figured she would, so I packed it all up very nicely and was extremely nice to her when she came by. Today for closure I wrote her an email saying everything I shouldve before and she wrote me a long email back with nothing but positive things to say. She just said she was so confused. Then we texted and she said she needed time because she didn't want to make a rash decision being so emotionally exhausted. I told her to take as long as she needed, that she could date other guys if she wanted, whatever it took, that i would wait.

She said that meant a lot to her and thanked me.

So how long is the right amount of time? Should I try to woo her when I'm supposed to be giving her a break from me? Or would it be more affective not to contact her at all? BTW, this girl is way prettier than I am and I'm in a college town with local heroes (football) who've been just waiting for a chance to move in on her. I'm the smart guy not Johnny Cool so my competition's steep.
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Type: Question • Score: 3 • Views: 5,223 • Replies: 4
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hawkeye10
 
  0  
Reply Tue 20 Mar, 2012 03:09 am
You had your chance, dont you remember? You did not want her enough to go get her, there is no sugar coating or expunging that from the record now.
0 Replies
 
OmSigDAVID
 
  1  
Reply Tue 20 Mar, 2012 04:42 am
Quote:
Can She Fall Back In Love If I Give It Time?
How can anyone be expected to know female emotions ?

( Maybe, except another female. )
0 Replies
 
Ragman
 
  1  
Reply Tue 20 Mar, 2012 06:18 am
@curiousguy,
curiousguy wrote:

For the next year or so we dated and she would bring it up every couple of months. She would be upset and in tears. Our relationship was perfect, otherwise. But now I know I'm just plain stupid. I thought I was doing enough to keep her happy but her fire for me was secretly dying because I was never expressing that I loved her.



The relationship was NOT perfect - for her, was it? Doing and saying just enough is NOT enough for her. She sensed you will keep the brakes on your emotions. She wants more and she waited long enough. she gave YOU time and you wasted it! When she drew her 'line in the sand', you belatedly responded as you were pushed into it.

It's hard to think of being objective and reasonable because you're hurting now. Sorry this hurts, but you need to move on. The fire has died for her. Accept it and learn from your mistakes.
0 Replies
 
PUNKEY
 
  1  
Reply Tue 20 Mar, 2012 06:41 am
My dear husband very rarely told me that he loved me - but I sure knew by his actions. I didn't need to hear those little three words. So i'm not so sure that is the issue here.

Sorry - but something's wrong just not right. If things were so "perfect" then she would not have left.

Take another look at the situation. I am sure you will find out a deeper reason why she left.
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