I'm curious to know what made you 'desire' her and how much respect you had for her in the first place, if you approached her straight up with 'I want to **** you!'
I mean, I've had men say to me, 'I'd really like to kiss you,' or 'I'd really love to make love to you!' and when I was young a couple of boys said, 'I'd really like to **** you!' - one even said, 'I'd like to breed with you!' but they said those things to me after seeing me as I was, and I figured they were attracted to me as I was and that was what spurred the desire.
I mean, you could tell this girl was overweight before her clothes came off and yet you still indicated that you desired her enough for her to trust you enough to take her clothes off in front of you, and then guess what - you really didn't?
Was there any foreplay before she took her clothes off - or did she just whip them off ready to get fucked because you said you wanted to?
I'm not castigating you - I'm just curious as to how you can look at her and see she's heavy and yet you still wanted to **** her and then when she's completely and entirely vulnerable, the whole thing changes.
People know what naked fat people look like don't they- from movies and magazines and such?
Why was it such a big surprise to you?
In terms of telling her you're sorry - text her or send her a letter- that would be kind of you, but you need to understand, you've probably given her an experience she won't ever totally forget.
When I was thirteen, I was skinny, flat-chested, wore glasses, had acne. I had a big crush on this guy. I never said a word to him, but my friends, thinking they were helping me out I guess, did.
He came up to me in the library at school and said, 'Just so you know - don't get your hopes up. I would never go out with an ugly scumbag like you.'
I've never forgotten it - even when my figure filled out and my acne cleared up and I got contacts and people (boys and girls) told me I had a pretty face and a good figure...to this day, I can remember how I felt that day.
Maybe next time you can figure out that you're not attracted to fat people before they take their clothes off and you try to use them as a '****'.