@firefly,
I should have just lied and told you guys she was reading a Flannery O'Connor or Ernest Hemingway (both of which I also LOVE) book instead. Then you wouldn't have had any ammo to tear at me with and maybe I would've gotten some less jaded feedback.
The book that girl was reading is by Robert Crumb. He was one of the biggest counterculture figures of of the 60's and 70's. And he's probably one of the most famous cartoonists in the world. His artwork is amazing and it's filled with boobs and butts, and penises, and sex and drugs, and all kinds of messed up things. It's very subversive. Crumb is regarded as one of the most important figures in the history American counterculture, and one of the greatest American artists of all time.
He's inspired countless others with his art. In 1995 they made an amazing movie about his life called simply 'Crumb'. He's now a very rich man and lives on a beach in the south of France with his family.
So obviously being "immature" has paid off for him in spades...
Here's just the first example I pulled off of a Google search of his art. Feel free to look for more.
http://2.bp.blogspot.com/_mpjbXhcFrIA/SXD-a-HoAAI/AAAAAAAABNA/CNbZyHthRa4/s400/crumb+guy+grab+dress.jpg
I wasn't in any way "putting on a comic performance" with that girl. In fact aside from talking about butt cracks and boobs we just talked about comics in general.
"You exhibit no real interest in, or curiosity about, the other person. "
The second thing I said to her was "Who else do you read?", then I asked her who her favorite artists were.
"Why would you ever expect any woman who doesn't know you, or has only chatted with you for a few minutes, and has no other knowledge of you, to give you her phone number? Are you that out of touch with reality?"
Funny you say this because YOU also said this to me,
"And, when you meet someone who does seem nice, don't beat around the bush--tell her you'd like to get together, and ASK FOR HER PHONE NUMBER, or ask her if she'd like to get together for dinner, or a movie, on a particular night. "
Hmmmm.... It seems no matter what I do it's wrong in your eyes....
"A 33 year old man should have considerably more smarts about how to approach a strange woman, how to talk to her, and how to try to set up another meeting"
So I should just know these things huh? Me, who's only had two girlfriends in his life and only one of them was somebody who I chased after.
You told me I should try to go out with as many women as I possibly could. I took your advice, tried the best thing I could think of under the circumstances the way they were (even though it's hard for me to ask women out) and then you berate me for how stupid I am and give me no credit for having the courage to talk to her at all in the first place.
"Rather than becoming aware of something about yourself that you should try to improve or change, you get defensive and spout more bullshit."
Wow, are you even reading my responses all the way through?
On multiple occasions I've thanked you, vikorr, and others for their feedback. I'm in the process of looking within myself and using some of that feedback to change my attitudes. One thing you told me was to start looking for a new job, I'M DOING THAT! Do I get any credit for that??? Have you even acknowledged that I took your advice there, and that I'm running with it???
I can answer that! The answer is NO. Because you're like most other women in the world, firefly. NOTHING IS EVER GOOD ENOUGH FOR YOU.
I even sent out more resumes today, So the total is now 7 places, and that's a full 4 months before I move.
"Would you have really been happier if she told you she thought you were a creep and she just wanted to leave? Would you really have been happier if Mary told you she was moving out because she couldn't take being around you any more? Stacy doesn't even want you at her wedding. "
The book she was reading has an infamous cartoon strip in it called "Joe Blow". Look it up, it's about a mother and father having sex with their son and daughter. So if me commenting on that girl reading a book that includes a cartoon where a daughter gives her father blow job, by making a comment about how Crumb draws funny looking buttcracks REALLY "creeped her out"; if that comment was oh so creepy to her fragile ears then yes. I would've appreciated a simple "Thanks, but no thanks", been on my way and thought nothing bad about it.
Mary went on and on about how important our friendship was and how she wanted to work on fixing it back up. If she had meant what she said, maybe seeing her at that wedding wouldn't be so hard. Maybe we'd actually be friends again by now. Who knows what could've happened if Mary wasn't so deceptive. Mary out and out lied to make things easier on herself.
Because Mary's a liar. Because that girl at the coffee shop lied. Because that's what women do. Because they can get away with it.
Stacy is as close to a saint as any person I've ever met. I will have love and respect for her no matter if I ever see her again or not. And I know she knows that deep down. We've been through too much together for me to doubt that for a second. Stacy wanted me at her wedding originally. So much so that she was going to stop that new guy from coming so that I would feel comfortable being there. It was only after Mary got engaged that the situation changed.
All your responses here are doing is furthering my negative views about women firefly. Do you realize that??? Because you've given me ABSOLUTELY ZERO credit for the steps I've taken to change myself and my situation. Beyond that you've contradicted yourself by the BOATLOAD and given further credence to my views that women are irrational and manipulative. Because you haven't recognized a single positive thing I've had to say, nor have you acknowledged that I've admitted personal faults and am in the process of working on them.
Because it is YOU who HAS to be right.
It KILLS you if you can't be right.
You'd rather put people in 'their place', even if that means putting someone down who's struggling and really trying to help himself, instead of trying to help them with your words.
Whereas vikorr (who is male), has at least recognized the small steps (which have actually been large steps for me) I've taken and has encouraged me to continue to make more changes. He doesn't spend the majority of his posts putting me down and berating me.
And yes I'm a drunk. I like drinking. Lots of people I know are drunks including Mary. Being a drunk didn't stop her from getting engaged. Neither did having emotional problems, psychiatric problems, interpersonal problems, lack of money, or just straight up bad decisions. She didn't have to do any inward looking or make any big personal changes in order to get engaged to be married.
Because she's female. (That's my conclusion)
You still haven't been able to poke a hole in my reasoning there.
And if Jack and I were both engaged to other women, and Mary had been lied to by both of us; I doubt she'd feel comfortable at all in attending Stacy's wedding if she knew we'd both be there and she was single. I doubt she'd be there if she knew she'd have to walk in with her tail between her legs instead of walking in as "the winner".
You still haven't been able to poke a hole in my reasoning there.
Firefly it's clear to me that you have serious problems with people contradicting you. So much that you sacrifice your own credibility by attacking people who are genuinely having a hard time in order to save your own face.
That's really sad because I see good things in you. My hope that you will one day recognize this is a genuine problem that you need to address...
