Society does have lots of double standards, and it's not all one way traffic. Women get away with things that men don't. Men get away with things that women don't. Only the politcally correct 'gender equality' think we should be treated exactly the same.
In terms of 'wondering eyes' - I don't see it as an issue if it's just looking. It would be silly to say that the thing that made him attracted to you in the first place (his sexual drive & attraction to the opposite sex) should just switch off as soon as he meets you - it doesn't work that way. Going down the genetic line, men are programmed to hunt, while women are programed to acquire - which explains the difference in attitudes between men & women (these are generalisations only). Much more important (by many, many times) to his loyalty to you is his morals, self esteem, and attitudes. .
That he tells his friends that he 'would do naughty things' is not good, but 'may' just be bragging. That would be difficult to tell.
i think its immoral and unfair that it is acceptable for guys in committed relationships to lust after other women
Who said it was acceptable? And why do other peoples thoughts on it's 'acceptability' matter? The only view that matters regarding this in your relationship is yours & your partner's (ie. whether or not they are compatible)
By the way, is it unfair that men must (in most instances) approach women / ask the women out? Is it unfair that women can be bi-sexual and be accepted (and guys think it's hot), but bi-sexual men are reviled (girls usually find this repulsive)? Is it unfair that vulnerabl women can get help from men (& women if they aren't being manipulative), while vulnerable men are avoided by women & men (unless they are friends). Personally, I don't think of these things as fair or unfair - it's just the way it is. What you really want to ask is :
- what am I prepared to accept
- what makes me happy
- what makes me unhappy