So, why do you go to a "pub: three times a week?
To socialize. Until age 27, I mostly kept to myself, with few exceptions. I had a couple male friends from high school with whom I'd attend the occasional ballgame or lunch outing. Otherwise I did nothing. Even with relatives, I had a tendency to be timid. Days would pass where the only time I'd hear myself talk is to my parents over the phone, or to utter superficial two word pleasantries to a cashier. My social life revolved around the girl I've been discussing and my online conversations with her.
Eventually that was no longer enough for me. I forced myself to integrate into real world society and slowly found that it wasn't as daunting as I anticipated. I made several friends quickly and now feel quite comfortable commiserating with familiar faces. Launching into romantic entanglements remains a significant barrier. I have no idea how to do it.
Tell me one man that does? A woman likes to be chased, a man likes to chase. Have you ever thought of asking her? Maybe she found you attractive, fantasizes about you, isn't lust the first step, chemistry? Don't you get to know someone the more you date them? Haven't you been on a date with her?
I'm not too keen on her. Maybe I should give her more of an opportunity. I find her physically attractive, I just don't share the same visceral desire to be with her that I do with the girl 2,500+ miles away.
Part of me is afraid of failure. I don't see why an experienced veteran of many relationships would be interested in a novice. I fear that I would embarrass myself with anyone who knows what to expect.
I know almost everything there is to know about the girl I'm obsessed with, which engenders a degree of comfort because I know that building a relationship would be a first for her too. I can't fool a veteran the way I can bamboozle a rookie. It's not that I want to trick anyone; I just think I have to in order to make any progress. If I'm honest about my romantic inexperience, potential mates will view me as a loser. I was once rejected by a girl a long time ago (when it would have been more acceptable to be a novice) because she didn't want to "potty train" me (her words).
Isn't that a preditor? Didn't Osso say that? You prey on the weak when you desire sex.
I rarely do the preying. Insecure women prey upon me and I accept it because otherwise I would never have sex. I hardly approach anyone for anything, the lone exception being the girl I'm obsessed with because my history with her breeds comfort and I am moderately confident in my ability to manipulate her. If I push strenuously (verbally, not physically), I think I could get a lot from her. I am opting not to go that route because I would rather she choose me than resentfully acquiesce to my desires under a combination of pressure, guilt, and desperation. I realize I'm not going to experience the intimacy I crave unless the other person genuinely consents to it.
What are the inner traits, her values, morals, core beliefs, persona.
Fidelity and commitment to family matter a lot to me. I also want someone who exhibits an appreciation for cultural, ethnic, linguistic, nationalistic, and racial diversity. I abhor bigotry. Other than that, I actually prefer an opinionated person to one with no core, even if I don't share the same perspectives.