Child Support

nadda
My situation is frustrating, but I'm managing without his help as I always have, so it's not as bad as it may sound.

Your situation is not tiny at all, which is why I like to keep tabs on you. Your ex has the ability to make things difficult for you, so you need to watch your back around him and be very careful in telling his as little as possible. I don't trust that guy at all, so just be careful, ok.

Montana,

Yeah he does have the ability to make things really difficult. I think if I didnt have so much animosity tword him we might be abile to work things out but I dont see it happining. I do how ever would like to be calm around him so every time we talk we wont be screaming at each other. I am dating the guy from my mothers work and he is dating some girl from some bar, so either way I dont think we are going to try to "make it work". I will keep reading about whats going on with you and try and keep my thingie updated so you will know what is going on.
Talk to you later.

Nadda
Good to hear. Things for me may not be that bad at the moment, but there was a time when my ex turned my life into a daily nightmare simply because he didn't want to pay child support. In fact, I left the country because of him, so I know the way some people can manipulate the system.

Anyway, I'm glad that you are both involved with someone else and that nothing has gotten ugly so far. It's great that you're civil with him and I was the same way in front of my son. I just wish it could have been that way all the time, even when my son wasn't around to hear, but the man flat out didn't want to pay support and was ready to put me through hell and back if I pushed the issue in court. My ex ended up marrying a woman who was just as crazy as he was and between the two of them, they turned my life into a horrible nightmare. My son got tired of catching his father in lies and waiting around for the man to keep empty promises, so he no longer speaks to him anymore, but I'll never forget all the pain and heartache that bastard caused my little boy.

Well, I certainly didn't mean to spill all that out, but once I got going I couldn't stop. Sorry about that.

Just be very careful and watch your back ok.

Yeah, I am keeping track of the times he said he would come and didnt, I am still sore that he hasent said sorry for all the crap he said to me while I was pregnant and after. This saterday he said he was going to come and pick me and Jordan up so that his great grandpa's could meet him before either one of them die, so we will see if he really does it or not. If he doesnt show up then I might have a few choice words with him and ask him if that is how he is going to be with Jordan gets older and if he is like that when Jordan gets older we will have a a visitation arrangment and when Jordan is old enough to decide for himself if he would like to see his father then that is going to be his choice. I am glad you can vent out some of the represed anger and hurt feelings on here, I wish I would have found this sight sooner and got it out I still have alot held up but I think I have typed enough on here so I will wait for your reply.

Nadda
Feel free to vent here all you want. Your ex sounds just like my ex as well. My ex use to say he was going to come and see are son and never showed up either. When you go back to court, you want to set up visitation arrangements anyway and make sure that it is arranged that if he's late or not going to show, he is to call you, so you can make other plans. There is no reason you should be sitting around waiting for him when he doesn't even show up. In the mean time, I would tell him that you have no intentions of putting up with this and if he doesn't show up on time, then you'll be making other plans. He obviously has no regard for your time and I'm sure you have much better things to do than to sit around waiting for him.

Oh, If you're not comfortable talking here, I'm going to PM you my email address, so feel free to email me if you'd like.

Ok, I will email you soon...

Montana,
Sorry its been so long! I have gotten the date to take the paternaty test and it is this month (yay) its on the 29 and I am so happy!!! Me and my sons father are not going to get back together I told him I cant stand him and that I know as well as he does that he isnt going to change and he probably never will and on top of that he is way to into himself! I also got a new car and sold my old one yesterday! I dont know but I think things are starting to look up for me I am so happy and I really hope things your way are doing the same!

Hey there Nadda :-D
Thanks for checking in. I was wondering how everything was going with you and your son. So glad to hear that you're moving forward in your life. Isn't that such a nice feeling?!

I called the court a few weeks back to tell them that I haven't recieved anything from the court since my ex was in there last on Jan 31. They said that something was sent out but peobably got lost in the mail, so they would send me another copy of the order.
She did tell me a few things on the phone, but don't very much. I finally get the papers yesterday and I was a bit shocked when I read it.
My ex was ordered to apply for 15 jobs a week in his local news papers and then report back to court to see a probation officer every Monday between 9-11am to check in with whatever proof they ask them to bring that proves he's applied for 15 jobs.
The order said if he didn't comply with everything on the oirder, then he would be charged with contempt which holds a sentence in the house of corrections. :-D

Sounds great so far, ey? They've got him backed against the wall now! Well, that changes!


Then the probation officer leaves a note in there saying that my ex had called her one week to report that he had just gotten out of the hospital,
where he spent a week and a half for attempted suicide and depression and will be leaving that day to go live in Arizona and there was nothing in the paperwork I had that said what happens then. Oh brother!, here we go again!!!

So I sit and think for awhile and decided to call my ex. He tells me he's living in Arizona and just started working there, but he said he wouldn't be there long. He sounded either drunk or doped up, so I don't think he even knows what the hell he's doing! I was very nice to him so I could get as much information as possible from him. He said he was heading to Pennsilvania to live with his sister shortly. I asked him if he was planning on keeping his same phone #, and he said "probably not", <oh sigh>. He said he would give me the # to where ever he moves. "yeah, right"!
He said that he's been in touch with the court and that he sent them copies of his pay stubs. He also said the D.O.R. was involved and that's news to me.

He sounded pretty screwed up over the phone, so I don't know what the hell he's going to do next. I think I know him well enough to think he won't run, but if he's drinking or on drugs and desperate enough, I wonder.
Well, I guess I'll just keep waiting and hoping <sigh>!

Huh? You're on probation, you just don't up and leave the state without authorization. That's a violation in itself.

Which is fine. I'd just about see him in jail as listen to more empty promises. This goose ain't laying any eggs lately, that I can see - golden or otherwise.

Don't think he's on probation. The courts assigned him a PO to stay on him, but I don't think he's technically on probation.

Yeah, I'm not getting anything anyway, so jail would atleast be something. He has to be back in court on June 3, which is when it'll be reviewed and I'll be surprised if I see anything before then.

Oh, man! The more I read about this loser, the happier I am that you got rid of him!

Me too Eva :-D He's been coming apart at the seams ever since his child support doubled. Since then his wife has left him and he's been trying desperately to get on a disability, thinking that he won't have to pay support if he does. Little does he know, the support for our son and his other son will be taken out of his disability check.
I hope he doesn't decide to kill himself at least until he's done paying his support to me. If he dies now, I lose everything he owes me in back support and I can only collect SSI for my son until he's 18, which is in July.
I know what I'm saying sounds terrible, but this man has done nothing but hurt people his entire life and will continue to hurt people for the rest of it.
Now he hasn't only abandoned our son, but he also has abandoned his other son. These kids don't deserve this.
At least my son was only 5 when I ended it with his father, but his other son is 12 and is going to have a hard time with his father taking off to Arizona.
Poor kids! I just hope he doesn't make any more.

Montana....
Good god, he really seems to be out there. My sons father hasnt bothered to call and see how his son is doing. Every time I think about it, it makes me kinda mad but then I think "why should I I am not the one who is missing out". Yeah things seem so much better now that every thing for me is falling into place, I dont see how I use to be so down and depressed about that man when I have had my son to take the place of any man who will ever come into my life. I just hope things get better for you as they did for me. Well good luck and I will talk to you later.
Crystal

Montana--

He owes that Child Support until that Child Support is paid. If he's stopped for jaywalking and the Powers that Be run a computer check, he'll be in extra trouble if his child support isn't up to date.

Contempt of Court means the SOB has insulted the Majesty of the Law--which is a very foolish thing to do.

Nadda
I'm so happy for you and I don't want you to worry about me. I've been dealing with this since even before my son was born, so I'm pretty much use to it. Both my son and I will be starting work in May, so at least my financially situation will improve greatly and I will never have to depend on that man again.
He told me last week that he was going to call over the weekend because he wanted to talk to Montana Jr, but of course, he didn't call. Then the S.O.B. blames me when our son no longer speaks to him. Says "I'm turning our son against him" and calls him a mamas boy. What a loser!
Well, at least my son isn't bothered by his fathers neglect anymore (this is what he tells me anyway).
My son is ready to move on in life, being so close to 18. I can't believe my little boy is going to be an adult in 4 months. Damn, I'm getting old, NOT! LOL.

Cheers to better lives :-D



Noddy
Yep, it's not easy to run anymore. I just want them to catch up with him before he does himself in ;-)

Yeah, I noticed the angry tone in the court papers I got, LOL! They even mentioned the House of Correction twice (in bold letters) on the court papers.
I think the thing that ticks me off is that I know he's going to start paying his support again when I'm financially secure and don't need his help anymore. It was just never there when I needed it and I thank god that my mother was there to help me through the years, bless her heart.
Well, no sense in dwelling on that, when my life is ahead of me.
I'm gonna buy a new (needed) car when I start working and give my son my old car. My car now is reliable, but it's old and I just don't like it anymore. I'm really excited about getting something smaller and much newer. I started an exercise routine every day and I'm feeling pretty good, actually :-D

Hey Montana,
Sorry to hear you are still going through this battle with your Ex. I am not having a very good time of things either. It's one thing after another. I can't stand it. The jerk who is my son's father is petition happy, and filing petition after petition, and taking me back to court all the time. He's unbelievable...Hope things get better for you...

Montana--

Sometimes money is essential and sometimes it isn't, but money is always useful.

If necessary the Commonwealth of MA will take child support arrears out of his Income Tax Return or his Social Security Check.

The Mills of the Gods grind slow, but they grind exceeding fine.

Hold your dominion.

Zacksmom
<sigh> I'm hearin ya! It's a long battle that never seems to end. I know there will be justice for the both of us in time, so I'm going to keep my chin up and try not to let it bother me.

(((Hugs)))


Noddy
You're so very right. I know I won't need the money by the time it comes, but I also know that it'll come in handy ;-)

Doesn't sound like a terrible thing to say to me, Montana.