Child Support

Montana,
Hey sorry to hear that he is being such an ass, hope things do get better... Noddy had a point. I will let you know what happens on the 29 or when we get the results back. Then we have to go to court and blah blah blah... Well I will keep you updated:) Hope all is well by the way:)
Crystal

Roger
Considering who I'm speaking of, it really doesn't sound terrible ;-)

Nadda
Yes, please keep us posted on what's happening.

Montana, Well we finally got the test results back and he is 99.99 the babys daddy and then we sent to cort and the told him is to pay 52 dollors a week for child support. Im not sure how he is to pay the back child support (I didnt stay too long after they told him what he was to pay) I dont know when he is to start paying either. I am engaged to the guy I was telling you about, its been a great few months. Well I hope all is well with you and your sittuation!
Crystal

Nadda--

Congratulations!

Don't spend the money before it arrives--and be prepared for "irregularities".

Best wishes on your engagement.

Oh, geez, Montana! I've just read all 31 pages of this thread and hoped that there was going to be a positive conclusion to this nightmare! I feel so sorry for the hassles, headaches, and heartaches that you and your son have endured for all this time.

Really, there outa be a law! A REAL law!!

Thanks noddy, what do you mean by "irregularities"? I am not going to spend a dime of the money he is sending me its going into savings and my better half has a really good job so we arent hurting for money so that will be good! Once again thank you and hope every one has a great day and life.

oh yeah montana, I dont know if you still have my email address but its [email protected] please write me if you have anything you want to talk about. I miss talking to you:(

nadda--

"Irregularities" is a polite way of saying that the checks will be late and the amounts of the checks may vary and there may or may not be money in his account to cover the checks....

Sometimes Ex Lovers don't die--they just wear on your nerves for 18 years.

Well, they are going to take it right out of his checks and send it to me so I hope he gets it straight and does what is needed. Noddy do you know alot or some about visitation? if you do, do you mind me asking you some questions?

I was a divorcee with children and I knew a number of other divorced women with children. I have experience with visitation hassles, but not credentialed experience.

Ask away. I'm glad to help if I can.

Montana - sucky, sucky situation. And I can empathise like anything, tho from the back-end of it.

I have child support to pay for my biological children and I have no problem at all with that. Even though I don't live with them anymore I'd never see that as an excuse to avoid doing what a parent should do, which is to look after their children. Hopefully I'll be moving into full-time work (with better pay) and even it will mean an increase in my child support level I'm looking forward to having some spare cash to spend on them for dancing lessons or sports stuff or whatever. True.

I guess I must miss the kids more than I dislike my ex (and her rotten family)




How's the chateau going?

Been working very long hours and am headed to work now, but I'm off tomorrow and hope I have some spare time to respond here in between running all the errands I don't have time too during the week, so bear with me folks.

Noddy,
If the father patitions me to court and asks for visitation can I ask them to drug test him and if so do you know when they would do it? Also will the fact that he didnt want anything to do with the child come into play (like wanting an abortion and saying he is going to sign over his rights) I hope you have some answers...
Crystal

nadda--

The court is not particularly interested in whether or not the child's father uses drugs unless that child is danger because of drug use.

As for proving drug use, remember your opinion will not be enough. The court may order a drug test--or they may figure that you are trying to keep the child and the father apart.

Remember, the past is done and over with. You did not have a abortion. The father is paying support. He has a right to see the child.

You can suggest that since the father/child contact has been so limited that the early visits be very short, but all you can do is suggest.

I have never heard of a child who was damaged by having too much love and I know a number of fatherless children who miss a male parent in the worst way. Remember, you picked this creep to have a wonderful, adorable baby with. It is in the best interests of this wonderful, adorable baby to know his father.

I know this advice isn't what you'd hoped to hear. If the creep wants to see his kid, the court will be on his side. All you can do is grit your teeth and try to make the contact as pleasant as possible for the sake of your wonderful, adorable baby.

Good luck. At least you have the promise of child support.

The only thing I am really worried about with him being around our son is that every time he has came to the house or we went up there he was high, and he drinks alot now. I dont know if he will do it around our son but so far he has and I dont like that and I told him that. He drinks every day and like I said before I dont want our son around that. Thank you for your advice no it wasnt what I wanted to hear but I needed to hear it so once again thank you for saying it.

nadda--

If he sues for visitation, you can bring up his history of alcohol abuse--if you can offer more proof that just your say-so.

Has he been arrested for DUI or disorderly conduct? Does he have any drug arrests on his record?

The court may recommend supervised visitation, either through the Children's Bureau (or whatever it is called in your state) which will have to be paid for or visitation in the presence of a responsible family member (who is willing to be civil).

Alkie, druggie or jailbird, he has a right to see his child.

If your attorney (you have one don't you?) is able to articulate a basis for requesting a drug test, and it sounds as if you can due to the fact of his constantly being impaired, the court might order one forthwith on both you and him. In my district, they do it right then and there in the courthouse.

If he requests it, the court is likely to support a plan for reintegration of the father with child. The court is going to do what is in the best interests of the child, and in most cases a relationship with the father is very much in the best interests of the child. Supervised visitation might be an appropriate option for the long or short term given his lack of relationship and drug/alcohol use. Visitation might be short at first, and then get longer over time. The fact that he wanted the abortion will probably not be held against him.

I see I'm echoing Noddy's responses. :wink:

Well never mind about what I had asked, he called me today and told me that he wanted the man I am about to marry if he was going to adopt him and he is going to travel with his band and that he wouldnt get to see him and blah blah blah so I guess he really isnt going to try to get visitation so thank you all for your input it helped.

nadda--

I'm glad for you, but sorry for your son who will eventually have questions about his biological father. Can you stand to keep the door slightly open so that there can be some contact? Providing, of course, the S.O.B.'s recording schedule permits?

I know your fiance will be a "real" father, but I've always felt that no kid was damaged by having too many people loving him.

At least you're spared another day in court.

He was saying if Elliot would adopt Jordan (my son) and I told him no he wasnt going to do that because he is going to pay child support and then he said why should I pay support if I am not going to be around and I told him that he could come and see Jordan when ever he wanted and he said that he didnt what to do that so I left the "door" wide open he is the one who shut it in my face!