I have no need to dwell on the past or look at your past behavior. All I have to do is read your posts in this thread to see how obvious it is that you don't give a fig about fitting in anywhere, whether it be on the moon, in college or on a message forum.
As to your excuse that there is nothing but Christian haters here who give you negativity, anyone with common sense has to ask why you keep coming back to ask questions of non-Christians you dislike so much? Why aren't you on the many Christian community message forums asking your questions of them so you'll only get Christian-approved positive responses to them? Could it be that they give you the same "negative" feedback and you don't have their being non-Christian haters as an excuse to reject what they tell you?