The only reason that people allude to your past behavior is because you are repeating the same patterns on this site.
You can't go on forum sites and preach just because you feel "led to preach". That's not the purpose of these sites, including this one. They are for people to discuss
topics, they are not your personal pulpit. And, to the extent you try to use them as your personal pulpit, you will only antagonize other users of the site, and either get booted out (as has happened to you in the past), or you'll become an object of ridicule, as has often happened on this site. And, rather than convince others of the positive aspects of your religion, your "preaching" has quite the opposite effect because you come off as closed-minded and abrasive--so your tactics are counter-productive to your own goals of spreading the Word. You wind up being self-defeating, and your tendency to be self-defeating seems to permeate everything you do, or try to do.
Unlike Hawkeye, I do not think you are a lost cause. I think you could benefit from professional help and I think you could benefit from listening to some of the good advice that people here have offered to you. But, JG, you have to let down your guard long enough to start listening
to the people who are really trying to help you. Stop being so immediately defensive and just start listening
. You don't have to agree, but you do need to listen
and let what people are saying to you sink in.