CHRISTIANS are supposed to EDIFY AND HELP AND PRAY FOR EACH OTHER
People are trying to edify you--by suggesting you get a job, and save money, so you can pay back your student loans and go back to school.
People are trying to edify you by suggesting you take the needed steps, and hard work, that is realistically necessary to achieve goals in the real world. If you really want to accomplish something you cannot rely on someone else paving the way for you--with a grant, or scholarship, or hand-out of any sort.
You've already gotten one college degree, and what have you accomplished with it? Why should anyone want to fund your way for another degree when there are so many deserving students who haven't had a chance to get their first degree? If you don't care enough to work, and save the money, to go back to school, then you don't want that second degree very badly.
People are trying to edify you by suggesting you get help--psychiatric help. The main obstacle you have in accomplishing anything is your psychiatric problems. You live in a fantasy world that borders on the delusional. Get yourself some help so you can function in the real world and actually enjoy your life.