are we entitled to a second chance?

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hi!

this is my first time to enter into a forum site and i don't even know what's the difference between the options of "ask a question" and"start a discussion".. so if i chose the wrong option, feel free to tell me.. Smile

I'm going through a lot lately.My boyfriend of 3 years( 2 years and 9 months to be exact) and i broke up recently. It's my fault..I've cheated..well,most of you might stop reading this and formulate judgments about me, ive expected that already..some pf you might understand me but most of you will think that i deserve what happened..

I also feel that i deserve this..i can't explain what happened to me that time when i'm actually doing the cheating thing but i'm sure that my boyfriend never came to my mind and i never considered him..that's how horrible i was.. Sad

and that's the problem.i love him but i don't even have the guts to stand by his side.. throughout the years he's been there for me..he's really a nice guy and he deserves someone way better than me..

so now, we broke up..i'm left alone..i'm trying to live my life normally but when i wake up every morning, i just feel,empty....i try to keep myself busy..i'm trying really hard but at the end of the day i still long for him..he's been part of my daily routine for 3 years, well 7 years to be exact since he was my classmate in high school..

i tried to patch things up between us but he does not want me anymore..he said there's a 1% possibility we could still be together,but it's up to God's will..

i don't know how to get through this life without him..we have made plans for our future and it really sucks for me to feel this way.i should have known better, right?

i'm graduating in college next year while he still have one more year left..i don't know if we will still meet again after graduation..what am i supposed to do? i'm scared to wake up one day and realize that we're really over.. i want to set things right..

do i deserve a second chance?what should i do to get that final shot?
if i won't have that second chance,how am i suppose to carry on with my life?

i don't make sense that much but i hope you've got a picture of thr situation i am in..
:')

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Type: Question • Score: 11 • Views: 2,168 • Replies: 25

To be honest, I don't really think you love the guy. You're just lonely. You took what you wanted with out a second thought. I'd leave you too. You're young, learn from your mistake and don't do it again. You'll find someone who loves you and who you won't feel compelled to cheat on. Right now, you kinda got what you deserved. Leave the poor fella alone, and remember - you screwed up his plans too. Life goes on... plenty of fish in the sea... yada yada...

1 Reply

@Ceili,

you think so?
hmmm.. so maybe i'll have a second chance to set things right but not with the same guy?

0 Replies

Just move on.

Joe(you'll be fine)Nation

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@Joe Nation,

It takes a guy with some special stuff to forgive and reembrace a cheating bitch. Im gonna check in with a NO.

your expeerience may vary

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@Joe Nation,

thanks..

0 Replies

@phineasandferb,

Entitled? Heck no.

You can keep trying and see what happens. But you're not entitled to anything.

1 Reply

@sozobe,

i just thought that maybe everyone deserves a second chance..some people get their second chances you know..i was only thinking of a maybe..

1 Reply

@phineasandferb,

Not really.

Especially, I'm not sure what you'd do with it if someone said "yes, you deserve a second chance."

Tell the guy "hey someone agrees with me, I deserve a second chance!" It doesn't strike me as being very convincing.

Lay a guilt trip on him for not giving you a second chance? His prerogative. It sounds like you are the full reason you're not still on your first chance (although props to you for accepting responsibility there).

Feel better about yourself/ shift the blame to him mentally for not giving you the second chance you are entitled to? Dishonest, I think.

1 Reply

@sozobe,

i don't hold that thought against him..and i'm not forcing him to give me that chance..

you got it wrong there..

1 Reply

@phineasandferb,

I'm asking... what DO you hope to accomplish with this question?

As in, if someone says "yes, you're entitled to a second chance," then...?

1 Reply

@phineasandferb,

Not so coincidentally, there's a vacation giveaway contest giving away tickets to the Best Live Tour from the Disney movie Phineas and Ferb which is using the phrase, "Second Chance" in their advertising...

Quote:

October 10, 2011
By Cindy

Just like the Disney’s Phineas and Ferb: The Best LIVE Tour Ever! is giving us a second chance at Summer Vacation, we are giving you a second chance to win a Family 4-pack of tickets!

Maybe you can win the contest and get that second chance.

2 Replies

@sozobe,

i haven't given that much thought when i wrote this..

what do i hope to get out of this question?hmm maybe some wisdom or a piece of advice. i really don't know...

if someone would say yes, then it would be probably a relief on my part knowing that someone out there thinks that i still have a chance to be a better me for him..

1 Reply

@Butrflynet,

that made me smile..what a coincidence.. Smile

0 Replies

@phineasandferb,

Well, I think "entitled" is the problem here.

Maybe he'd give you another chance, who knows. But I think if that's your goal, you get there by being humble and taking responsibility and giving him room to be mad at you. Not by claiming your entitlement.

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@phineasandferb,

This might help:
when u long for him,
turn your attention to his faults.

Hold the bad things about him in your mind.

That shoud make it easier to be without him.

Try to replace him.

WELCOME to the forum!

David

0 Replies

Two things came to mind reading your initial post.

A. That you're enjoying your own little pity party and

B. In my experience most people who ask for a 2nd chance, are actually on their 5th or 6th chance. Or else they have a habit of asking for a 2nd chance whenever they have a new person/situation where they feel they can ask.

Your saying that you really can't explain what was going on when you cheated on him sounds like a set up that it's just so complicated/horrible/both that no one could comprehend.
Get over yourself, whatever it was, wasn't unique.

2nd chance? What's chance have to do with it? Like it's a dice game, and the numbers might come up in your favor.

0 Replies

@phineasandferb,

No one is entitled to a second chance.

The idea that we would be is silly.

For you to be entitled to a second chance would mean your boyfriend is not entitled to refuse you a second chance and I doubt you believe that is the case.

You only deserve a second chance if your boyfriend gives it to you, and it sounds like he's not willing to.

You may truly love him or you may simply miss his presence and the routine.

If it's the latter, then you'll be out of your funk the minute you meet someone new to whom you are attracted.

If it's the former, and you do truly love him then it's rough, but maybe you will learn a good lesson from this.

If he knows you want a second chance (as it appears he does) then you'll just have to wait and see if he's interested in giving you one. Maybe he didn't love you all that much and the cheating thing was just the event that ended a fading relationship. If that's the case, then you'll be waiting an awful long time for him to get back to you. If he did love you, it's certainly possible that he's feeling much the way you are and he'll give you the second chance.

I don't see that there is anything more that you can do except maybe send him a "Thinking of You" card or e-mail from time to time, just to let him know you're still out there hoping, but anything more than that (and even that, arguably) would be manipulative and he doesn't deserve that.

Go on with your life. Meet new people, but remember this experience if you find someone new who you think you love.

The chances of this being an open wound in your heart for the rest of your life are very very slim. That tends to only happen with very strange people or in romance novels.

0 Replies

I've been holding my tongue and some know how hard that is for me. I'm in some disagreement - but not entirely - with the general tenor here, have typed it up, but am still thinking on it. Will probably have worked out my thoughts by tomorrow.

1 Reply

@ossobuco,

alert the media

1 Reply

are we entitled to a second chance?

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