Yikes - is this gonna work? Advice, please!

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So, as some of you know, when I married Alex, I also married his 12 yr old cat. A really sweet-tempered, lazy, fat Tuxedo. His main goals in life are to get petted a LOT and eat his weight in food every day.

Well, I now have a dog - a 10 yr old Border Collie named Gracie. She's on trial, but I really like her so I think we'll be keeping her. Roy has lived with dogs before and Gracie has lived with cats before. So I thought, no problem.

Well, so not the case. They give each other a wide berth, but if Gracie comes too close to Roy, Roy hisses (bares his teeth, etc). If I pet Roy, Gracie whimpers. Gracie follows me everywhere. Roy is not so comfortable. They are in the same room together right now, but... Gracie is lying at my feet under my desk, but that's Roy's usual spot (when Alex is away), so Roy is being displaced.

I took Gracie out to a dog park and when I came back, I petted Roy and he didn't even purr. Normally he purrs when you're in the same room. That's not good. So I brought him to the couch in my lap and spent 1/2 hour on intense one-on-one, petting and talking and he was purring up a storm.

Will this pass, do you think? They're both very good-tempered, old (10 and 12) animals, with no previous issues ... they're really very nice.

Also, how do I keep the BC amused? She's so smart but she hasn't cottoned onto her chew toys and I'm working, so how do I keep her occupied? If I leave her outside, she whimpers and whines and barks. I do NOT want to annoy my neighbours.

EDIT: I should also say I got her yesterday afternoon, so it's just a little over 24 hours Smile

Thanks for any and all advice. Roy is now under the coffee table giving Gracie (who's under my desk) the evil eye. Will they ever get along and/or like each other? Think they're too old to learn new tricks?

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[+3] - boomerang - 09/05/2011About a year ago a neighbor showed up on my porch with a boxed cat in need of a home (it was her friends cat and the friend had died). This was an insanely pampered cat who had never been around...

@Mame,

OMG - this is hilarious! I went to get Roy some dinner and of course Gracie followed me. While I was doing that, Roy snuck back in under my desk and he's not moving! He is not even interested in his food Smile

I think I'll get his dinner for him - lol - He's taking up a position - lol

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I don't think you should despair. In The Hidden Life of Dogs, the author describes one little dog who absolutely worships another of her dogs, and follows him everywhere, seemingly driving him to distraction, while he does his level best to ignore her. Eventually, she falls ill, is in and out of treatment, and finally dies. The dog she had pestered so much is devastated. His best friend (as the author now realizes she was) is gone from his life, and he can't cope.

It is entirely possible that these two will come to be good friends, and possible that that will be true without being obvious. I hope for your sake it is true.

(As an aside, The Hidden Life of Dogs is, in the end, an appalling story. That woman should not be allowed to keep dogs.)

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Thanks for trying to give me hope but in your story, they were both dogs, and in my experience dogs usually get along better with other dogs than with cats. Roy and Gracie are both needy animals, as well. Just after Roy snuck in there under the desk (while I was typing that, in fact), Gracie went in to reassert her territory and Roy and his food dish were both upset. Roy had just started to eat and actually threw up a little on my couch (in the same room). I went to pet him and calm him down but he was having none of it. He's now upstairs in my bathroom. I made Gracie stay downstairs, lying down, for half an hour. She was very abject. Their are doing their normal cat-dog thing, but I so want them both. I think we need a week to see how things will work.

But I still don't know what will occupy a 10 yr old female BC while I'm at work. Any ideas? I've already googled my eyes to death. She doesn't do chew toys, can't do tugging things while I'm gone, is more mature than some of the ideas, doesn't need treats in a Kong, and can't play hide and seek by herself. I don't want her going nuts.

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@Mame,

Give them time I think. They just need to get used to each other. We're a two dog two cat family and whenever a new animal is added you worry at first but we've never had a long term issue (in fact everyone seems sorted within a week).

Our last merger was a a 10 month old westie and we were most worried about the 11 year old cat, but they are best buds after some early boundary setting by the cat.

Sometimes I don't think the see species, just a new individual that they have to place and learn to trust.

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@Mame,

Yep Mame, they need time to adjust... and yes, certainly I do think it's possible they could get along - but there's no guarantees. You've met both my dawgs and cats - the 4 of them adore each other - but it wasn't all plain sailing when we introduced the cats after BostonCat went AWOL. The kittens were 6 months old, Scooby musta been about 10 and Maddie about 2 (gosh, I'm having a job remembering how old my dawgs are Shocked

)

The cats rule the house fer sure and the pecking order is in place with the animals. I would imagine Gracie has more to worry about than Roy Wink

- cats will take the high ground if threatened but will hold their ground when required and Gracie may end up with a few daps to the nose with some hissing and spitting, if she's gets too close to Roy. They will usually sort it out tho so as long as there isn't a full on scrap - I'd let them get on with it with a watchful eye to start off with.

As for toys - well, in my experience BC's can be hard to keep occupied (unlike mine who is easy to keep) as they are super-intelligent hence so incredibly good working dawgs (really, unlike mine who's not quite all there anymore but still herds us constantly). Ordinarily, they need lots of play and good walks - when Scooby was a pup we used to give him things like this when he had to leave him on his own (you may find she would play with this when left alone even if she doesn't do it whilst you're there)

http://pet-product-review.askavetquestion.com/wp-content/uploads/2009/11/buster_food_cube-150x150.jpg

which would keep him occupied for a while.

I'd not recommend leaving them in the same room whilst you're at work initially - but when you're there, just give them time to get used to one another and they'll figure out the pecking order between them.

One on one attention as needed.

<Do scritch Roy for me Very Happy

and a stroke for Gracie>

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About a year ago a neighbor showed up on my porch with a boxed cat in need of a home (it was her friends cat and the friend had died). This was an insanely pampered cat who had never been around dogs but I said we'd give her a try.

She jumped out of the box, ran under the table, and growled for two days. The dog (who had been raised with cats but not one as interesting and noisy as this!) pranced and spun around her.

When Godzilla finally came out from under the table they avoided each other for a few days, then tolerated each other for a month or so. Now they snuggle up and sleep together.

I say give it time and don't indulge their insecurity. They'll work it out.

My dog (border collie/Australian Shepard) taught himself to play stair ball. He carries a ball to the top of the stairs, lets it go and chases it down. Rinse and repeat ad infinitum. He thinks this is a swell game. Maybe Gracie would enjoy it.

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Thanks for all the advice and support. I'll get her a ball and a Kong before i head out to the football game.

Thanks, guys!

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@boomerang,

Such a great reply, Boom.

Me, I'm enjoying the new drama...

Our setter (probably one year) was there after the cats. Love wasn't lost but it was some where off on a slow boat. No big kerfluffles that I saw and remember. I figure CinQue (mom cat) cuffed him a few times, nosy dog.

Which reminds me of the story of Foxy the Duck and the same neighbor's cat, name of which I forget.

When Cat died, Foxy went into mourning. Piercingly sad to see.

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@Mame,

Give it time, Mame. You married Alex, didn't you? Smile

I predict that they will get along fine. It may take a greater length of time as this is a border collie - they are bred to herd and take interest in moving objects. My border, a great cattle dog, also loves to keep control on the movements of squirrels, prairie dogs and cats.

Cats, especially older ones, don't like their movements questioned and controlled.

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I have a 2 and a half year old dog. The cat still only tolerates him. I think secretly he likes the dog. The cat still hisses at the dog when he tries to play with the cat. But the cat is king even without claws. The dog doesn't even growl when the cat eats the dog's food.

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Wow, you were already concerned after only 24 hours?

How are they getting along now?

I'd give them a couple of weeks to get totally used to each other.

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@chai2,

They're not getting along any better. The cat hisses and growls if the dog comes near or near me. They've had a couple of scuffles but after the growling and hissing, Roy will back off somewhat. I was a little concerned I'd get torn to ribbons last night - I was lying on the couch, Roy had come up to snuggle and Gracie was sleeping on the floor in front of the couch. She woke up and the two got it going - finally Roy went to the other end of the couch.

They're both very proprietary about me - it'll be interesting to see how they react to Alex.

JTT: Gracie is a ten y.o. border collie - she doesn't do any herding. She will chase rabbits and squirrels, but she leaves Roy alone.

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@Mame,

Ten years can't remove centuries of what's been bred in, Mame.

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@Mame,

Gosh mame.
It's only been 2 days.

They're 2 different species, they've been thrown together in the same house with no idea why.

The cat especially is going to hiss and such for a few more days, to let everyone know he's displeased in general.

Givem' a couple of weeks, not a couple of days!

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@Mame,

2 days. no bloodshed...

sounds like it's going pretty well to me.

I bet the cat wins...

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@Mame,

Damn.

I wish I was Roy. I'd love to cuddle up with ya Mame.

I love you girl. Marry me.

Give me your number Mame.

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@Rockhead,

Hell yeah the cat's going to win.

That pooch better get in line. It was a cat who came up with "revenge is a dish best served cold"

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Your dog's name is Gracie? Laughing

Yikes - is this gonna work? Advice, please!

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