i need help i cant tell if my brother is gay or even bi. i dont have any problems with gay or bi people either. i need a way to find out if he is either one but i dont want to just go and ask him if he is. some more detail about him is when we are at the gym i sometimes notice him staring at guys working out or he will watch them change cloths in the locker room. i dont want to embarrass him by just asking him if he is and i also dont want to make things awkward between us.
Ok why dont you mind your own business and stop replying
If you don't want a reply, you shouldn't ask the question. On this forum, you'll get answers to your questions (usually). But no one can guarantee you'll like the answers.
Thu 18 Aug, 2011 05:00 am
I would wait for your brother to bring it up himself somehow for the reason that he may be struggling with this aspect of of his life himself.
Not everyone is ready to just jump up in their early years and announce their sexual orientation to the world. Not just because of concern or fear of what others will think/say, but because they are still working it out themselves.
Give him the respect to let him do things in his own time, if indeed there is anything to tell you.
If he never decides to discuss it, then let it go.
I agree, if he is gay let tell you when he's ready. And don't assume he is because he checks out guys at the gym. Straight men check out each other while working out quite often.
Thu 18 Aug, 2011 06:37 am
Why are you staring so intently at him when he's in the locker room? That's just not right to be doing, he's your brother.
If he is a homosexual he will or won't tell you when he is or isn't ready and he may never tell you because he might not be a homosexual.
Thu 18 Aug, 2011 06:46 am
i just want a way to find out so i dont say anything to make him feel bad
Here's an idea: don't say anything that would make any gay person feel bad. It really doesn't matter whether your brother is gay or not, you don't need to know his orientation to prevent yourself from saying something hurtful.
He may not be sure himself so I should wait I wonder how old he is I know you are close if so I am sure he will tell you in his own time
Thu 18 Aug, 2011 07:07 am
'People watching' does not indicate that one is gay.
You will need other kinds of "evidence" if you are looking for verification.
But, I wonder why YOU are so concerned.
I just heard an interview on the radio where the guy said that young "straight" men are so unsure about themselves when it comes to girls/women that they are confused about their own sexuality. When they can get a handle on what a woman is, then they are more sure about themselves. In the meantime, gay people are sure about their sexuality and seem to "know" their preference.
Well, since some guy said that on a radio show, I guess that settles that.
So, gay's are never unsure of their sexuality, it's straights that have that issue?
all righty then.
Fri 19 Aug, 2011 07:37 am
That viewpoint was offered in an interview. I'm jut putting it out there, as a mother of 2 men and a grandma to 1 boy.
Many YOUNG boys are confused by girls. They are scared stiff of them but facinated with them, what do they want? How do they think? What is their body like. How do they function? etc. etc. It causes a lot of confusion and angst.
These same boys are dumbfounded by another male who has already made up his mind that he is gay and has no interest in girls, sexually.
But I do think that's why a lot of pre-teens boys and older men get homophobic.
Wed 24 Aug, 2011 12:57 pm
As i am a Pick Up Artiest, i will suggest you that, please give him freedom, and let him do what ever he want to do. You will get all your answers soon.