Would this be considered Cruel and Unusual Punishment?

Thank you Mame. I believe you got it in a nutshell. This is just the straw too as it has been going on too long, then he is good for a while and then blam here we go again. It is like an alcoholic beating the crap out of you one minute and apologizing the next so you will continue to enable. I am done with it. Thanks again.

CalamityJane, Thank you for your response. My reasoning (I thought that I was doing a good thing) for offering him support in any way I could/can due to the fact that he is taking no less than 15 credit hours in college with him being on campus from morning until nighttime 4 days a week. With him wanting to commit to that workload I only thought it was fair, but obviously he makes it pretty clear that I am a worthless piece of crap to anyone that will listen. Oh he now has money, even though he doesn't work. He is now getting a stipend from a trust fund that was set up for from him by my mother. This he uses for books for school and incidentals. Although I pay for his school as well he has finally agreed to, with urging from his Trust Manager, to look at a small loan to offset living expenses. So no I will not help him with anything once he is out of my house. Oh an he doesn't have a car and we do not permit him to take ours.

My experience is that some 21 year old boys are really 15. Your son sounds like he is spoiled and self indulgent. Why does he not have a car? Why can't he take yours?

He is also writing everything he thinks on FB. My granddaughter does that - kind of like a stream of consciousness . . . WAY too much info, thank you. He is probably spending too much time on the computer.

HELP him move on. With kindness, help him find a new place to live. It's time he got out into the real world. Get a job and be more responsible for his life.

But don't do this in anger. When you are all calmed down, have a discussion about how you see he is ready to move on . . . out of the house.

Work out a budget with him. Because you have sheltered him, he may not be able to organize what he needs to do. Can he cook for himself? Can he handle money? Can he clean his room? These are all things you should have taught him way before now.

Help him so he does not come back. I had to give my daughter $200 per month to subsidize her apartment. for a year. Otherwise, she would be been in my home (Don't worry, she is 37 and makes 6 figure income now)

PS - Begin NOW to lay down the expectations with your other son.

Punkey, To answer your questions...

Why does he not have a car? Why can't he take yours? - He doesn't have a car because he doesn't have a license at least at this point but is working on that. He hasn't felt the need to drive (most of his friends don't drive either even though they may be older than him) however he is working on it. In fact with that I have talked to countless of parents in the last couple of years that have children in his age range or older that do not drive. I know it is strange, but it is some kind of phenomen or something. The reason why he can't take our car is that 1) he doesn't have a license and 2) his stepfather and I have consolidated and carpool into our business on a daily basis. In other words we are currently down to a one car family which saves on expenses.

Can he cook for himself? Can he handle money? Can he clean his room? These are all things you should have taught him way before now. - Yes actually he can do all of those things. Doing them cooking and cleaning, well that is another story but yes he is all good. He also has a money manager and a Trustee in which he has 24 hour access to. He actually is very good with his money, to tight in fact. He has a fear for some reason about not having enough that he actually hoards, which is not totally a bad thing however it can be costly for others. He probably has more than I do in his checking account right now, lol just joking sort of.

Frankly I think that he is scared of living on his own. He wants to bad enough as he tells us that all of the time because he is in "hell" but he just doesn't do it. In fact I tell him to go often and generally in a calm tone.

Punkey, it doesn't really help anyone if you start pointing fingers and be accusatory.
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A parent,
I think you're right that he might be scared of living on his own, weren't we all? It's like learning how to swim, sometimes it's best to let go and let the own survival instinct take over and before you know it they swim like a fish. We all have mastered life somehow and so will your son. He just needs
a stern push!

Sounds like he needs a spanking but I guess that is child abuse.

He has a money manager, a trustee for his trust fund, and he hoards money. Much as I respect PUNKEY, I think she's being way to considerate of his sensitivities. My own feeling is you can put him out on the street today, with a clear conscience. The boy is a deliberate parasite.

About that driver license. He should maybe rethink this. I mean, he may have snowed you into believing that studying Criminal Justice is something like law school; it just isn't. John Jay College in NYC has yet to graduate a lawyer, and without a license, he is unemployable - which might not be a real concern as long as he has free room and board.