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Mon 27 Jun, 2011 07:01 am
How would you feel if you are female and your male cousin is staying at your house with your mother, and then for 2 months you and your mother go on vacation. While you're away, your cousin uses your mom's car to pick up girls. He takes a girl into your house twice and he and the girl go into your bedroom and sleep on your bed. (He used his own bed cover and blanket though) Would you be ok with it if your cousin does this to you? What would you do if you were in this situation?(My cousin did this to me. How did I know? My housekeeper told me when I returned from vacation. She was there when it happened)
Oh, that's not all. THe housekeeper said he squeezed her legs. And he took the cover off of the sofa in the living room (my mom put a sheet on the couch as a protective covering) and he lay on the couch everyday wearing only shorts. When my mother and I are home, she makes a rule that everyone in the household sits on the couch only when the cover is on it. (the weather here is hot and tropical) Now my mother says, "No wonder the sofa was so smelly when we returned!" (the housekeeper said she cleaned the couch before we returned, but I guess that wasn't enough to get rid of the odor entirely) And my cousin is not living with us anymore, he left a week ago and my housekeeper just told us about him today. Maybe he left because he knew he would be caught eventually. The housekeeper said she didn't tell us before he left because she was afraid he would hurt her.
My mother is strict and religious, so that's probably one of the reasons why she's upset and now she disowns him. But I'm not so religious. My cousin is 28 and I'm 22 by the way. And the housekeeper is my age.
P.S. Don't answer this if you're going to be sarcastic and rude. Nobody is forcing you to answer this.
@springdale9999,
Have you talked to your cousin? At the very least, get him to see that this bothers you, and maybe get him to clean the couch (yes, I know it's the housekeeper's job, but the guy might think twice about doing it again).
@springdale9999,
I think the biggest concern is that he touched the housekeeper and that she says she was afraid he would hurt her.
I hope your mother will at least speak to his family about this.
Furniture can be cleaned. I don't find smelly furniture as disturbing as his reported behaviour toward the housekeeper.
Where did your cousin sleep when you and your mother were in residence? did he have his own bedroom?
@ehBeth,
Eek I missed that part. Definitely - the issue with the housekeeper is the biggest thing. The rest is somewhat minor.
@jespah,
While the housekeeper is a big thing - the rest is hardly minor (in your own house). The 'whole' thing (housekeeper touching, taking the covers off the couch etc) reeks of disrespect for others. When this pattern occurs in your own house, this becomes one of those 'must have talks' that people should engage in.
I think he behaved pretty typical of a 22 who has been left alone in the home, immature as it was.
But the touching of the housekeeper is really unclear. He needs to explain himself. Talk to him and ask him to explain what happened.
He is out of the house anyway, but he needs to know that touching females without their OK could get him in real trouble.
All of this would be completely un-acceptable to me. The man is 22 and should understand responsibility by now.
The biggest red flag is what he did to your housekeeper. That should be clarified and brought to his family’s attention and he should be made to apologize to the lady.
Taking the cover off of the couch was dis-respectful. Why would he take the cover off? It should have made no difference for him to lie on the cover and even if he didn't like the way it felt, it's not his home or couch so not his decision to make.
Picking up girls and bringing them home was not only dis-respectful but also dangerous. Now these women know where you live and know the lay out of your home. Burglaries are staked out this way and how much can you trust a random person who goes home with strange men?? They may have taken items from your home while your cousin slept! I would change my locks if I were you.
@Aldistar,
Actually, he's 28. Not 22.
@ehBeth,
He did have his own bedroom. My bedroom is bigger than his- so maybe that's why he liked to use my bedroom when he was with that girl.
@springdale9999,
springdale9999 wrote:
Actually, he's 28. Not 22.
That makes it just that much more unacceptable.
@springdale9999,
springdale9999 wrote:
Actually, he's 28. Not 22.
At 22, it might be a phase.
At 28, it's a character flaw.
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