How well do you think we know each other?

Izzie said:

Quote:

What amazes me is when people believe that they know what I am feeling or thinking more than I do; they believe they know me better than I know myself, they think they have a right to tell me what I’m doing wrong in my life – which is actually a life that is a complete and total figment of their imagination and is in actual fact, not my life at all. I don’t have a clue how that happens, truly I don’t. I find it incredible that actually – a few people who I thought “knew me”, do not know me at all – it’s all just make believe BS.

In all the years I've been involved with this forum (and Abuzz before that) there have only been two people who have said things that have really hurt me. I thought I knew them and that they knew me and I'm still shocked at how horrible their comments made me feel. In both cases they took a rather general question or comment and made a terribly personal attack.

I've kissed and made up with one. The other? I don't know if I have it in me to forgive and forget -- which is something I'm pretty good at.

I've since found other places to discuss the type of things I need to know. I miss being able to discuss them here with people I "know".

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I think JTT is a man and, honestly, the conversation here about him surprises me. He's always been very kind to me and has shared information and opinions in a gentlemanly way, even when we disagree.

Same with C.I.

There are some general "outsiders" here that I always enjoy talking to -- people's whose opinions are way out of the norm -- those people who get marked down for all their threads without getting much response -- people who get thumbed down just because they are the ones who said it.

There is one person on here who I know everyone would be surprised to learn how truly nice and smart and caring that person is. S/He would kill me is I ever told anyone so I'm keeping my mouth shut!

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@boomerang,

Quote:

people who get thumbed down just because they are the ones who said it.

The only other use I can see for thumbs is if you don't like the post because it is technically incorrect.... I dont think it is ever used in this way . This begs the question of why enter the debate if you are not prepared for differing opinions and why use the thumbs at all ....the nastiness could be taken out of it by only being able to vote posts up... after all, are we not all equal ? Why should some opinions be voted below the viewing threshold unless JG has political aspirations and wishes to distance himself from anything but leftist sentiment ?

I dont think I have ever made a post that was not voted down as soon as it was posted, regardless of the time of day or night.... are the hamsters doing a lot of voting ?

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@boomerang,

boomerang wrote:

There is one person on here who I know everyone would be surprised to learn how truly nice and smart and caring that person is. S/He would kill me is I ever told anyone so I'm keeping my mouth shut!

It's OK. You can tell them Wink

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@Ionus,

Ionus wrote:

Quote:
I'm trying to understand why people behave badly.
I can only speak for myself but I do not get insulting until they start it . Then they usually show themselves to be cowards at their own game .

Honestly Ionus, and the following is just an observation from the few times I've carefully read your posts....

I haven't seen anyone show themselves to be a "coward at their own game" when getting tangled up with you.
I couldn't say if you don't get insulting until someone else does, I've never paid attention. However I do see where you keep pounding away long after the other person basically says "What are you talking about?" Maybe that's what you see as being a coward, but what I may see in a certain situation as the inability to move on.

Just an observation on the little I've seen, not an arguement or insult.

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Oddly enough, speaking as a minor participant in this forum, my online personality has sometimes been at variance with my personality in real life, which anyone who knows me personally in real life would say is friendly. I'm much less likely to lose my temper when dealing with people in real life. In fact, rarely. My first A2K posts in the spring of 2009 were too emotional and combative. I don't think I'll ever be able to stand to reread certain unpleasant exchanges I had with one member or another, because they're just too painful. Too much anger and frustration on my part. Fear of being misunderstood as well. Call it regret, if you will.

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@boomerang,

boomerang wrote:

I know everyone would be surprised to learn how truly nice and smart and caring that person is. S/He would kill me

That does sound truly nice and caring!

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@chai2,

No insult taken, but would they have been better off (and the quality of the forum for that matter) if they had of asked "What are you talking about?" first ?

Quote:

Maybe that's what you see as being a coward

No, I see them as being a coward when they start moaning about ad hominems and how they are going to take me to court . I also see most of these posters as particularly unable to contribute unless in a particularly narrow field . I also see these posters as having quite specific needs for professional help . The internet (and computers in general) is no substitute for a life .

Quote:

I may see in a certain situation as the inability to move on.

Lets take the specific example, for what that may be worth, of farmerman . I publicly apologised for any grieve I may have caused him . This was the perfect opportunity for him to do likewise but he couldnt . Some months down the road, he was back to insulting me again . So yes, we hadnt moved on, but who is to blame ? I guess if you dont like me and do like him then as per any good lynch mob it is easy to find me at fault .

I think we should all be aware that the mentally ill do tend to gravitate to the internet as it allows them to endulge in their delusion undiluted by people who can see they are lying . Women can be men and men can be real men .

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@Roberta,

Yes, that is exactly what I am suggesting.

It's the liberating power of the Internet and you can embrace or be repulsed by it, but regardless it is changing human communication.

I would suggest that you need to stop attempting to replicate a personal community on an impersonal internet.

If someone can only feel personal communal connections on the internet, they and not the so-called trolls are the pathological.

The internet is the arena of the Id.

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@wandeljw,

wandeljw

You are so self-effacing that you are one of the few members in this forum I would like to meet in person.

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@Cycloptichorn,

Which one is you?

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@Setanta,

There was a time when you felt you were going to great lengths to avoid giving offense?

I'm dumbfounded.

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@JPB,

I missed your original post but you are spot on with this one.

I express myself in this forum and expect nothing in return.

Knowing that someone is reading what I write makes a huge difference, though, that I'm not sure I can explain.

That I received very heart felt condolences when by father-in-law died did move me, and there are people in this forum who, if they think about it, will appreciate a different Finn response that they might have otherwise garnered

I'm not looking for personal connections on this forum. I'm perfectly content with the ones I have outside of it.

Having given this some thought, perhaps I am not as understanding of those who are looking for personal connections on A2K as I should be.

I'm sorry but I don't think I will ever intentionally meet any of you. This is not to say that I'm sure I wouldn't be quite pleased to meet many of you (Cyclo included) by chance.

Who know though...maybe in another decade.

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I don't know half of you half as well as I should like;
and I like less than half of you half as well as you deserve.
The Lord of the Rings: Fellowship of the Ring

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@Finn dAbuzz,

I'm not sure that people are looking for personal connections here - but they are finding them - it can be a surprise - sometimes pleasant.

I recall the first time an online friend died. I was seriously blown back by how strong my reactions were. I never met Mary Pope in person, but man, her death hit me hard. It was one of the events that made me think a lot about the relationships that can develop between people behind keyboards. It was also one of the reasons I started meeting online friends in person.

I so regretted not having met Mary Pope. I don't have that regret about cavfancier, Noddy, timberlandko. I'm glad I made the effort to meet them in person. I have real-life memories of some spectacular people that I wouldn't have met without the internet as an initial connection point.

I didn't join Abuzz or Cookstalk with any intent, or expectation, of meeting 'online people' in person but I'm certainly glad I did.

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@ehBeth,

True enough.

Some are, and some are not, but many find them.

For me it will always be a treasured exception.

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Someday, I want to push my walker up to finn's door and ask him to go have a coffee or beer with me. He will spit on me and wave his cane, but I have fared worse in similar situations.

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@edgarblythe,

edgarblythe wrote:

Ragman wrote:

Would anyone who has me on ignore please raise their hand?

Raises both hands.

Ed surrenders. Evil wins.

A
R
T

1 Reply

@edgarblythe,

Why would I spit on you edgar? Because I think you are foolish?

Generally I have found that people expect from others just about what they themselves would deliver.

Please come visit me and I assure you that unlike you I will not turn you away, but welcome your company.

PM me and I will give you my actual address or arrange for a meeting in a mutually agreeable place.

I can guarantee that your meeting with me will pale (and extremely so) in comparison to all the many heroic liberal adventures upon which you have embarked in the past.

(I'm guessing you refer to your coming face to face with a Grand Wizard before a burning cross in Mississippi in the early 60's)

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@Finn dAbuzz,

Finn dAbuzz wrote:

Why would I spit on you edgar? Because I think you are foolish?

Generally I have found that people expect from others just about what they themselves would deliver.

Please come visit me and I assure you that unlike you I will not turn you away, but welcome your company.

PM me and I will give you my actual address or arrange for a meeting in a mutually agreeable place.

I can guarantee that your meeting with me will pale (and extremely so) in comparison to all the many heroic liberal adventures upon which you have embarked in the past.

(I'm guessing you refer to your coming face to face with a Grand Wizard before a burning cross in Mississippi in the early 60's)

YEAH! or at least a Pretty Good Wizzard!

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