My friend is a Moron

Wayne - can you say "NO?"

That's what you are going to have to practice saying because this guy has IMPULSIVELY bought a BOAT (Bring On Another Thousand) in need of repair - and doesn't have a clue . . .

Here are some phrases: practice saying them.

Sorry, I can't do that for you.

Sorry, I have my own repairs to keep me busy today.

No, I have no skills to do that

No, I know nothing about that.

Do you need help selling that thing?

Maybe you've done this already, but I think you should start off being pretty direct:



He isn't going to want to hear that, but it does give you an excuse to use your boat. If he hasn't finished the list of mandatory items, you can say "not safe yet, why don't we take mine." If he finishes the safety work, then offer to alternate trips: you pay for your boating costs when you host, he pays for his when he hosts.

Oh wayne, I have no advice for you, but I definately can empathize.

I grew up at my family owned marina. The end result being I don't ever want to look at a boat, or open body of water for the rest of my life. Good thing I live in central Texas, huh?

Chai(the stories I could tell)Tea

ever have anybody take off while still tied up?

I once heard about a guy that tied his cruiser up to pilings at very low tide in Maine. He didnt use a LOOOOONG line so when he was away and the tide came in, the boat was quickly sunk and under water and went missing in 30 ft of water. I didnt know about it until he had the cops come up to our dock and wanted to know if we saw his boat ( he thought it was stolen). They found it in the next tide (Which was in the middle of the night).

He had a truck come and load it up so it could be worked on. This was the origin of the line that was started by the "old coot" owner of the docks where the guy tied up.

OLD COOT--Ya Knaw theyahs only wan raisin ya bowt sank theyah.

GUY --Oh yeah and why's that ?

OLD COOT --Cuz yews Stoopid, Ats why!!

I plan to reread Farmerman's ..."to the vagrant gypsy's life"... WHERED THE SUMMER GO? thread:

http://able2know.org/topic/50602-1


Wayne, you have my great sympathy..

Sorry, I like your original post and agree. Whatever the reason he didn't buy your boat, he bought one in worse shape, more expensive to run, as you say, and he knows dick about boats. If he calls on you for help, does he expect you to help? Why would you do this, when you want to be out in your own boat?

Let him deal with his stupid decisions... you can always offer to take him fishing in your boat if his is not working. Some people need to do things the hard way and the more you help, the less he learns.

I know someone that bought a 45' wooden tub and had nothing but trouble. Every single day at work he'd have a new issue, or more on the ongoing saga with xyz... it got tiresome just hearing about it; thank heavens I didn't have to help him.

I agree that your friend is a moron.

I don't have any trouble with saying no, and he would be ok with that. My problem is that I don't think I should, just say no.
This guy is a really good friend, we've gone through all the ironing out stages of close friendship years ago. So I feel that helping him out is just part of the commitment of friendship.
I think I am irritated by the bad judgement of his decision more than anything. The work dosn't bother me, it would probably be fun, it's the waste of resources that really bugs me.
Any of the 3 lakes, near us, are a 160 mile round trip. With gas prices what they are, thats a major outing. This was, imo, an impulsive decision for him, at this time.
Maybe that I'm resistant to change, things have been working just fine the way they have been for the last 7 years. This is a poor time to add expense to one's leisure activities.

Your post shows you've got a pretty good understanding of the situation.
I like your advice here too. I plan on incorporating some combination of it in the end.
This guy is very stubborn, though, and it probably won't work out so sensibly. The end result is most likely going to be a severely reduced number of trips to the lake, at least this year. Along with a financial strain for him.
I'm thinking my best option may be, to just leave my boat buttoned up this year, focus on being as helpful as I can with his endeavor, prepare for some inconvenience, sit back enjoy the ride and let him discover the joy of owning a boat.

Ha ha, I bet you have seen it all.
I've been boating since I was a little kid, it is unbelievable the situations people get themselves into, on the water, and on the ramp.
There must be something lacking in the human mind that makes it impossible, for so many of them, to completely fail to understand, that water is not land.
Your post made me laugh, thinking of some of the things you have surely seen.

On the downside, there is also a lot of great tragedy out there too. I tend to take the safety issues very seriously. About 15 years ago, 4 guys I grew up with, went into the water in february. None of them survived. It was the first trip out in ones' recently purchased boat. No one ever knew what went wrong.

Yes, funny things, and tragic.
Just like you said, people think a boat is like driving a car on land.

The worst thing, I didn't see it, but my mother watched as it happened, was on an Easter Sunday.
Everyone else went to church, but she was sick with a bad cold and stayed home. She was sitting and looking out the river (Manasquan River) and saw this guy who had taken his boat out by himself. It was a pretty big boat. The current was strong and I guess he wasn't paying attention, and it turned the boat sidewise. It was going to ram against a railroad bridge, and the fool thought he could push it off. She watched him get decapitated.

Oh man, that's something nobody needs to see.
Every summer somebody gets killed at a lake around here, the worst thing is all these jet skis out there now. These things have so much power, and the folks running them seldom realize the risks. Between that and the idiots, in 200hp bass boats, flying around at 70 mph, you really have to watch out.

In spite of it all, I never get tired of watching some fool run his boat onto a mudbar at 50 mph, it's really a great show on a lazy summer day

They say the two happiest days of a boat owner's life are the day he buys his boat and the day he sells it.

He'll soon reach the middle of the donut. Give him time to get past the initial giddiness.

You don't say where you live and I don't remember if I read it in other threads, but my personal boat-owning experience in California might be helpful.

My brother and I went in and bought a used boat and shared the maintenance costs for the first couple of years. I only rode in it once the whole time we owned it. He kept it at his house and frequently took it out fishing on the bay. The boat trailer had to be registered with the DMV and the boat had to pass yearly certification and inspection by a marine official before it was ever allowed in the water. As "captain" of the boat, my brother had to take a boat safety class and learn all about the local boating laws. He still owns it (bought out my share) and has moved it with him from CA to Florida, to New Mexico, back to CA and now on to Arizona. He loves that boat!

Maybe you could help your friend get access to similar inspections and classes so that he will know what needs to be fixed before the boat is seaworthy and you will be reassured that the boat is indeed seaworthy and has appropriate safety equipment on board. He'll also get a basic idea of how to navigate the thing between all the various buoys, and at what speeds, etc.

The benefit would be that it would be the inspectors telling him what the shortcomings are and what needs to be fixed, rather than his friend Wayne. Then, the two of you could maybe trade off on which boat you use each time you go out fishing.

I have little personal boating experience but a lot with boat enthusiasts. My cousins, both commodores of yacht clubs; business partner, winner of then major solo Pacific races, her son grown to captain of consequent tonnage. That kind of boating reminds me of skiing. Don't get me going. Hours of talk about equipment. But - that's my view. They are all interesting sailors.

On the other hand, my uncle was a captain for Matson in the old days.. he's the hollywood lawyer who quit before being disbarred. Too bad I never got to talk with him as an adult. He had asked to take me on the ship to hawaii back around 1960, when I was eighteen, but my mother said no. I was obedient back then.

Wish I'd pushed more. That was a much better idea than me entering the convent.

Wayne, how about giving the guy a list kinda like this:

Step One: Find someone who is actually interested in your boat...

Wayne, I am concerned about your willingness to sacrifice your summer for this guy who made a bad decision.

Poor you . . .

Give him back his own problem, will you???

I can see Wayne giving him his summer, with the stipulation that that's it, though just advice on what needs fixing seems enough to me - but the friend's judgement seems, if not moronic, based on early enthusiasm to spend his new money likedy split.

I'll help him out, but I won't be sacrificing my summer. He will have to wait til I have time available.
One advantage, our work schedules are very different so the time I have to help will be limited anyway. When he gets in a hurry, there's always the boat shop, and he'll feel the bite a little sooner.

That's really the part that bugs me Osso. It just seems entirely foolish and unnecessary, given the situation.
If the lakes were closer, if the economy were better, if either of us were rich.
I felt we had a pretty good way of keeping expenses down and maximizing our budgets, now he's gone and screwed it up.

Upon reflection, Dadpad might be right. He could have felt he was taking advantage of you by always using your boat. How he felt has to relation to how you felt about the situation, but that doesn't really matter.