14
   

My friend is a Moron

 
 
wayne
 
Reply Wed 27 Apr, 2011 12:35 am
Ok, I may not be seeing this clearly but I need to gripe a bit anyway. Maybe some feedback will help.

I have a very good friend, of many years, with whom I fish on a regular basis. I have owned a small boat for the last 7 years which we use when we go to the lake. There are 3 lakes about 80 miles distant, each, from where we both live, so expense wise it always makes sense to go together. This has worked out very well for the last 7 years.

So, my friend recently inherited a small amount of money and has been buying a few things. He began talking about a boat a couple months ago, and I tried to talk him out of it. It made absolutely no sense when I already have a perfectly good boat. Well, he wouldn't give up the idea, so I offered him a really good deal on my boat, no sense in both of us owning a boat.
Today I stopped by his house, on my way home, and he has bought himself a boat, more of a hulk really. This thing is beat to hell and back, it was a nice boat 25 years ago and has all the bells and whistles. Only thing is, those 25 year old bells and whistles are now mechanical nightmares, and my friend has zero mechanical ability and knows zip about boats.
I can see the light on the train at the end of the tunnel here. He is already asking me what to do, wanted me to make a list. Already tried to talk me into going to the lake in it saturday, he doesn't even have life jackets yet. No way am I going out in the lake in this hulk so I can help paddle it back to shore when it won't start.
This is sooo stupid, I already have my own boat to take care of, one that I trust on the lake. This hulk weighs 3 times what mine weighs, will burn four times the gas, after you spend twice the gas to pull it to the lake.
I think I'm gonna have to change my phone number and address. I am not going to work on his hulk for him, and I am not going to the lake in a boat I can't trust. I can see this friendship heading towards the rocks in a hurry.
 
hawkeye10
 
  2  
Reply Wed 27 Apr, 2011 12:47 am
Most likely you are right that this is going to be a problem, as he blames you for the hole that will quickly develop in his wallet, because of all the free work that you are not doing. You best bet will to act happy for him, wish him luck on HIS project, and do some work to upgrade your boat so that when ever he asks you to mess with his you are too busy.

The good news is it should not take too long to blow through enough money that he loses enthusiasm for this boat.
wayne
 
  1  
Reply Wed 27 Apr, 2011 12:57 am
@hawkeye10,
Yeah, I'm just hoping to get through this without losing the friendship.
If there was ever a good time to have a heart attack, this is it. I could then be laid up most of the summer. Smile
roger
 
  1  
Reply Wed 27 Apr, 2011 01:13 am
@wayne,
You do a great job when you write, Wayne. I can see the whole thing now. Make him a rough list and go have the heart attack as suggested. Be busy or ailing when it comes time to start working down the list, but keep your own boat. I've got a feeling you will both need it.

As for moron, don't let it get to you. I've had several friends who were crazy (non technical term). I mean, I and several guys drove up to the Colorado State Hospital in Pueblo to keep his spirits up while one of them was confined in the forensic ward. Little things like that shouldn't bust up a long friendship.
roger
 
  1  
Reply Wed 27 Apr, 2011 01:13 am
@roger,
In other words, I agree with Hawkeye.
dadpad
 
  1  
Reply Wed 27 Apr, 2011 01:24 am
@wayne,
I'm gonna take a different view. For many years your friend has been totally reliant on you for a leisure activity he enjoys.
Him:
I always wanted MY OWN boat so I could take my friends out fishing. you know turn about or something. i admire waney's boat and we have a great time but it makes me feel guilty having to use his stuff.

My good mate did want to sell me HIS boat but thats kinda like a handme down. When we go fishing it will stil feel like its his boat and he'll prolly complain that i dont do this or that. stuff that necessary but i hadnt gotten round to yet.

I want a project to work on. Maybe I'm not up on all the mechanical stuff but my friends wont mind giving me some advice. Hell we might even have some beers and a few laughs fixing all the stuff that needs upgrading.

Wayne, I thing it wouldnt hurt to support your friend a little in his goals.
Get behind a mate and help him out a little, give him enough space to make it his project though.
I just wonder if you arent a bit put out cause now your not "The captain".
Not pointing the finger just asking the question.

You'll be needing some 4x gold though.





hawkeye10
 
  1  
Reply Wed 27 Apr, 2011 01:26 am
@wayne,
Quote:
Yeah, I'm just hoping to get through this without losing the friendship
Your not being willing to take it out with him will speed up the process. I dont get that. Even if the boat sinks this will not kill you, sure it likely will not be fun, but it is pretty hard to act supportive when you basically tell him that you have no faith in his boat.

Worse case you swim to shore or get a tow, what is the big deal? You would only need to do either once before you could refuse to go on it and he would have to understand
wayne
 
  1  
Reply Wed 27 Apr, 2011 01:40 am
@roger,
Smile I don't know how I can use my boat without him knowing. Plus, I'll have to take someone else, or foot the bill myself. That would definitely cause him to get butt-hurt.
I guess I could loan mine to my nephew for the summer, then fake a heart attack.
Hawkeye's probably right, in a month or so he'll be too broke to do anything anyway.
0 Replies
 
wayne
 
  1  
Reply Wed 27 Apr, 2011 01:57 am
@hawkeye10,
In a few days I will probably end up doing just that. That really is the right thing to do. I'm kinda pissed about it right now, but he is my friend, and friendship is a choice.
What will probably happen, I'll keep my boat buttoned up this year, spend some hours gettin his hulk in shape, maybe suffer a bit, and have some fun in the end.
Actually, I could probably make a pretty nice boat out of it for him. And I really don't mind the work, he is very appreciative of anything I do to help him.
He will learn a lot about what owning a boat involves.
My major worry is his total lack of sense, at times. He's the kind of guy who drives around without a spare tire, I don't think he even knows if he has a jack. You just can't do that kind of thing with a boat, and get away with it.
I guess it probably won't kill me, I can swim, but then, it did kill 4 of my friends 15 years ago.
wayne
 
  1  
Reply Wed 27 Apr, 2011 02:09 am
@dadpad,
I think you've made a good point dadpad. He is just that type of guy to be thinking just that.
I will end up helping him fix the thing up, after I cool off some.
It really won't be any more responsibility to make sure his boat is safe than it is mine. I just hope I can convince him to take the little things seriously, it really matters when you are on the water. Water can kill you very easily. Especially cold water.
It would be nice to let somebody else be the captain, but this guy really isn't captain material. He gets by on dumb luck most of the time, and someday it's bound to run out.
I think that is my biggest problem with the whole deal.
Ionus
 
  -2  
Reply Wed 27 Apr, 2011 02:45 am
@wayne,
Quote:
My friend is a Moron

You have a friend ? Sad What are they like ? Where is Moro anyway ?
0 Replies
 
farmerman
 
  1  
Reply Wed 27 Apr, 2011 03:35 am
@wayne,
HAving done this, he must learn quickly that the renovation or rebuilding of a boat is a multi year task that is accomplished ALONE. You can give him the list AND an estimate of the time involved. If its as bad as you say, itll be a many year project and he will either learn the necessary boat building skills (Wood or glass?), and mechanicals (Engine overhaul or reset a new one) or he will die.

My project was a hulk of a lobsterboat that was destroyed in a storm crash. It needed the entire above decks and some new hull and transom work. IT WAS almost 12 years in the making and it was a lonely passion. I had checkmarks and schedules and CALENDARS hung out with the years ticked off.
When it was done it was a beautiful one design with modern technology like side thrusters and marine electronics for deep water "passage making"

I used it for maybe 8 years and sold it because I needed money for my business .

I never counted on anyone to have the same "ownership" invested as did I. I never even trusted anyones skills unless I paid for em. Building a boat is not a project that involves paying guys with beer unless you dint care how she sits the water and plows ahead in high water. If he does he WILL wind up with a kind of crap that the guys in the beer commercial had(no criticism of you but when you get frustrated, you can just go home--he cant).
Im talking about detailing lines and chines by drawknife and spokeshave and lovingly covering the whole thing with bubble free glass fibre and tip and roll painting the dear thing so that the lines gleam like a single unblemishhed surface. Its either that or tell him to just take it out and use it for a planter.
You should just be there for your friend to keep him from torching his boat (There will be these times when he will feel that , the only way out, would be to burn the whole thing, knock down the boat shed that he will have to build around it and just start a new life somehwre in Ohio).

My boat was almost 40 ft LOA. It could be confused with a Hinckley TAlaria except I had the pilot house lower and raked back so it looked really "stealthy" I loved that boat and was real proud in a way that only building a boat can derive. It cost me a hell of a lot in money and time (I had a thread devoted to sailing it . It went on for about 4 years onA2K).

A boat is like a journey to MEcca, you get no more credit by making it a road trip with friends. He must learn or fail. Its in his hands entirely. SHow him this and let me assure you that, unless this is a small rowboat,It will become his life for several years (My wife had a dinner party quip that she would make about boat building . She said it ws about 6 months per foot of wetted surface.

Tell him good luck and to take his estimate for costs and time and multiply them by 1.5
wayne
 
  1  
Reply Wed 27 Apr, 2011 05:19 am
@farmerman,
This is a lot smaller project ( big enough for him though) it's an old bass boat.
His main worry should be if the engine is any good. The rest of the thing has way too much electrical crap that's been out in the weather for x many years, elect trim, live wells, bilge pumps, trolling motor wiring, 3 batteries, lights, depthfinders, flasher, etc.
I think he believes he can just jump in there and go fishing, haha.
It's low freeboard, and the plug is inaccessible from in the boat, so you can't afford to not have your bilge pump workin.
He will find out that takin it to the shop will pay for a new boat in short order.
My own boat is much simpler and easier to maintain, but I still spend many hours and dollars each year on maintenance and improvements.
farmerman
 
  1  
Reply Wed 27 Apr, 2011 05:32 am
@wayne,
I hate bass boats. They are tragedies in waiting. As you say, too many nooks and unseen crannies. Maybe he can just pump the bilge full of "Great Stuff High expansion foam" and be dome with it.

If its been sitting out, the glas will need to be inspected at all strut and frame chines. I saw one bass boat sink overnight at a dock just froma stress crack around a live well. It didnt sink all the way it just rode "Really low" (youd never get it up on plane it was like a canal barge)
farmerman
 
  1  
Reply Wed 27 Apr, 2011 05:40 am
@farmerman,
I assume its some bigass overpowered outboard . Ive seen bassboats with 250 hp engines , so it drove at like 1gal per mile.
Start with the water pump impellers, they are probably rotten if its been sitting out. You can burn an engine up in a minute if you can only get it to pump water at >2500 rpm.
wayne
 
  2  
Reply Wed 27 Apr, 2011 05:50 am
@farmerman,
This one looks like they banged it on every tree in the lake, and ran it into the dock a few times to boot.
I suppose he could get lucky and the previous owners took spectacular care of the motor while they were beating the boat against trees.
Filling it with foam might be good, but filling it with rocks and making a reef might be better.
farmerman
 
  1  
Reply Wed 27 Apr, 2011 05:58 am
@wayne,
He could always make a mold out of it. Fill it with linear and stick it in a a wood kiln (need like 350 F).
Banging it around trees and **** is not good for these boat types. Most of their strength is from the deck platform.

You can wish him well and be ther to keep him from blowing it up when he gets frustrated ( I belonged to a DIY boatbuilding "help line", where someone would talk you in)
0 Replies
 
wayne
 
  1  
Reply Wed 27 Apr, 2011 06:05 am
@farmerman,
One thing in it's favor, it has current reg stickers and looks like they've been using it. The motor doesn't show any signs of ever having gotten hot so maybe he'll get lucky. It's only 90 hp so he oughta be able to get a mile and a half out of a gallon, depending on how much water he can keep pumped out.
I am definitely gonna be too busy to go along on at least the first 2 trips to the lake. Give the loose stuff a chance to blow off while I'm well out of range Smile
0 Replies
 
sozobe
 
  1  
Reply Wed 27 Apr, 2011 06:10 am
@wayne,
wayne wrote:
My major worry is his total lack of sense, at times. He's the kind of guy who drives around without a spare tire, I don't think he even knows if he has a jack. You just can't do that kind of thing with a boat, and get away with it.


This makes a lot of sense to me -- I have friends like that too.

How direct can you be with him? I mean, can you tell him this stuff or would he take umbrage?
wayne
 
  2  
Reply Wed 27 Apr, 2011 06:34 am
@sozobe,
I can tell him that kind of stuff ok, but he generally shrugs it off and goes right on with it. He is always costing himself, one way or another, and never seems to change.
I can see were he will be wanting to go to the lake in his boat, and I'm not inclined to put myself in a position to pay the price alongside him. I paid my boat dues long ago, and have no desire to join the ranks of people I see every year at the lake with major problems because they don't know what they are doing.
My choices seem to be either not going, or doing the work to make sure problems are headed off.
I will try to steer him to the shop wherever I can, but I'm afraid he won't see the importance till he has problems. I feel that he needs to learn it for himself, I just don't wanna be there for the lessons.
 

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