oh ok i get it

Management assumes the people they hire have common sense. When they find out that is not the case they respond according to the wrongful action committed. Yelling about a declined credit card is far more embarrassing to a customer than having ketchup packets dropped in front of them. You don't like being yelled at when you make a mistake, and yet you yelled out a customer's credit problems to the public. Maybe that customer you embarrassed is still obsessing about it on some public forum months later and you've ruined their peace of mind.

PS - We have a new member named JGoldman10 you might like to meet.

The question is more about why you lack common courtesy? Why on Earth would you throw ketchup at a customer or yell out that a customer's card bounced? In one case, management noted your rudeness, but it was minor and they tried to teach you. In the other, the rudeness was much more pronounced. Most bosses assume that you come in with certain skills. You can read, write, handle basic math, speak intelligibly and have decent social skills. They aren't planning on teaching those things, so they are put out when they find out that on top of all their other issues, they have to teach you to be nice to people your salary when it should be common sense.

I just didn't know not to. The difference was how it was handled in those 2 places.

Our point is that you should have. This is not advanced customer service, it is basic courtesy 101. You need to treat your customers like the very important people they are. Without them you don't have a job. The difference in the two cases is that in the first, you were just rude. In the second, you went out of your way to embarrass a customer. You say you didn't know any better, but it looks like you were just being a jerk and your management responded accordingly. Until you understand deep down inside that whether you intended it or not you were a complete ass, you really don't "get it".

You didn't know not to yell out that someone's credit card had been declined?

Seriously?

I think our poster has social cue problems. If you have read the threads, you know this. She is trying and asking.

I don't think righteous remonstrance is all that useful. (Not to say I haven't posted that way).

I think she has been trying hard.

DD, you still need help on all this and I hope you are connecting with counselers who have a clue about asperger's related syndromes or related issues. I do think you have made some big leaps.

Don't beat yourself up over the ketchup packet issue. Move on, just learn from it.

I would like to sum up all our responses right now:

Honey, that's common sense and not something you need to be told.
You don't throw ketchup at customers and you don't embarrass them in front of everyone. Things like these are required from employees who work in customer service, they should not be the ones to teach you.

Why you work in customer service is beyond me, you clearly don't have
the skills to handle customers.

You folks seem cold on this to me. Do you not get that some people are not up and running on social cues? Even Oliver Sacks, the great brain guy, cannot recognize faces. Brightness and access to social cues do not always go together.

I think DD has done ok to well for stretches at a time and has begun to understand more.


The New Yorker article was titled Face-Blind. No link just yet, I'm doing a search.
Not that DD has exactly that, but we all vary. She struggles to get cues and absorb the ones she sees.

osso, yes I do get it and not everyone has had introductions to Ms. Manners,
but DD always seems to look for others being at fault and not her. She passes the blame and doesn't take responsibility for her actions. Plus you don't need social cues to know that you don't throw ketchup in front of people - you wouldn't even do that at home with your family.

In calling out that the credit card was declined, she could have apologized to
management (after she was reprimanded) and assured them that it won't
happen again. Instead she comes here and wonders why management found
fault with her. Remember, her question was "Why do some management suck and others don't? "

I've got a couple of serious questions for dirtydoz.

Please, don't anyone else answer it for her. I really want to know if she knows something.

Dirtydozen, do understand what a credit card is? Please don't just say yes. Explain what your understanding of what a credit card is. If you're not sure, or don't know, that's fine.

#2, do you understand what it means when someone's credit card is declined? Explain what could have possibly happened for someone's card to be declined when they try to use it. One reason might be that the card was stolen, but let's assume that wasn't the case.
Let's say I gave you my card, and it really was my card, and it gets declined. Why did that happen?

I really need some kind of foundation of your understanding of the world.

But you are speaking from the world of you and me with average brains in their workings. (Well, so far.)

Yes, you're right, she might have a deficiency in her mental capabilities.

Has it ever been determined if she has aspergers?

Here is an audio re Sacks on face blindness -
http://www.newyorker.com/online/2010/08/30/100830on_audio_sacks

I've not listened, but read the article.

'Mental capabilities' might imply that DD is not smart. I think she is quite smart, her language is fine.

She said something about it early on.

I highly doubt she is just a rude person.

I looked that up, and face blindness has more to do with not recognizing one person's face from another, not reading the emotions or cue's being given by the face.

On Sacks, here's the abstract of the article.

There is a book coming out, re the Mind's Eye. Still, the abstract gives a gist of the observations -

http://www.newyorker.com/reporting/2010/08/30/100830fa_fact_sacks

True, but he is a long time brain researcher and personally has this fuckup thing himself. That's just one brain tweak.