I should have also said that you need to make some commitments to him, as well. You seem to have allowed your marriage to become stale due to your busy life. If you are going to require these changes in his life, you MUST make changes in yours for him.
If you are interested in details, just ask.
Nod with Lash and others, good post, Lash.
((((hugs, CL)))) - I'm sorry you have to deal with this. Probably better now than latter, though.
Thank you all again for all the replies, advice and support. Currently I have access to his phone, text, voicemail, emails, social network account and anything else I want.
He has also agreed to attend couples counseling. He continues to maintain his innocence and said he does not know why he lied about who the phone number was.
I am not sure where the future will stand with us. However his is not abusive, he treats me very well and he is a great father. He had learning disabilities in school that caused him problems with comprehension and he hates confrontation. Not to make excuses for him, but I don't know if that is why he lied...
Either way, right now I do not want to cause disruption in my family. I have a 'special gift' that I have learned over years of lies, how to fake a smile and look happy.... My children have no idea anything is going on and I do not feel this is impacting them at present time.
I have explained to him that right now, he has screwed everything up and I do not trust him right now. He is so far in the doghouse that he will be eating dog food for weeks.
I think it would be a good idea to make time for him at least once a week...go out together alone...spice things back up between you.