9
   

What to do with the house

 
 
jenfargo83
 
  1  
Reply Tue 28 Dec, 2010 10:37 pm
@ossobuco,
Quote:
You come off from the first post as Prince of the House who was hoping to command your wife to leave.


No, I did not "command" her to leave. I asked, she agreed, and she is going to. The last person who will be commanded is my wife, trust me.

Quote:
Perhaps in the processing of legalities this can happen in some states, but from my view, she has every right to stay there as co house owner and see her boyfriend elsewhere, while the divorce is worked out.


So I am supposed to just say "ok honey, now you be careful out with that young boy tonight, and make sure to use some protection! Oh, and could you please make sure to lock the door when you get home tonight? Thanks a bunch." Think about that for just a second.

That is an option where she would be comfortable, I would be very uncomfortable, and the kids would feel that and it would affect them all the same. Her moving in with her dad, she would be comfortable, the kids would be comfortable, and I would be able to move on.

She had my trust once more and because she lied, again, and went behind my back, again, there had to be consequences to her actions. I didn't ask her to move out of spite, I did it to protect myself and my kids. It was her choice to do what she did, and so in reality, her choice to leave. And she is going to. Yes I did "ask" her, I did not "tell" her. And I was fully prepared to move myself if she wouldn't. Simple.

I am wrong, she is bad? Really. As I said before, this part what is happening has nothing to do with us "drifting apart". It has everything to do with how we could have lived in the house, together, with the children, until it sold so everyone was doing the right thing for everyone involved, or as I call it walking the straight line. Is that so hard to do? For her to put her "prick" back in her pants until we move out? I see a double standard there. If it was the other way around, it would be "don't let the door hit you on the way out you ***hole of a man!"

Am I blameless in us falling apart? No. Never said I was. I fact, I will take more of the blame there, but it was pretty even for the most part. It really was very simple. Your typical "drifting apart" marriage. No abuse, no other women / men. We just lost touch with one another over the course of our 15 year marriage. It happens that way to a lot of couples.

Now, as far as what has happened since then, the only blame I would put on myself was wearing my emotions on my sleeve and telling her exactly how I felt about her. Other than that, I extended all my love and trust in her direction. That is the God's honest truth.

Quote:
Walk the straight line? Now you're moving into House God.


Morality in this situation was simple for me. There is right and there is wrong. Was I supposed to just forget about that for a while?

If you have a question or advice, please say it in a way that doesn't sound so rediculous. Please.
ossobuco
 
  1  
Reply Tue 28 Dec, 2010 10:44 pm
I'm having a little trouble to answer the whole loggo.

Back in a bit.
0 Replies
 
ossobuco
 
  1  
Reply Tue 28 Dec, 2010 10:47 pm
@jenfargo83,
jenfargo83 wrote:

Quote:
You come off from the first post as Prince of the House who was hoping to command your wife to leave.


No, I did not "command" her to leave. I asked, she agreed, and she is going to. The last person who will be commanded is my wife, trust me.

Reread your own first post/

Quote:
Perhaps in the processing of legalities this can happen in some states, but from my view, she has every right to stay there as co house owner and see her boyfriend elsewhere, while the divorce is worked out.


So I am supposed to just say "ok honey, now you be careful out with that young boy tonight, and make sure to use some protection! Oh, and could you please make sure to lock the door when you get home tonight? Thanks a bunch." Think about that for just a second.

You are projecting that I would say that. I'd as likely be as cool to your spouse.
She owns the house with you and has every right to be there.

That is an option where she would be comfortable, I would be very uncomfortable, and the kids would feel that and it would affect them all the same. Her moving in with her dad, she would be comfortable, the kids would be comfortable, and I would be able to move on.

She had my trust once more and because she lied, again, and went behind my back, again, there had to be consequences to her actions. I didn't ask her to move out of spite, I did it to protect myself and my kids. It was her choice to do what she did, and so in reality, her choice to leave. And she is going to. Yes I did "ask" her, I did not "tell" her. And I was fully prepared to move myself if she wouldn't. Simple.

I am wrong, she is bad? Really. As I said before, this part what is happening has nothing to do with us "drifting apart". It has everything to do with how we could have lived in the house, together, with the children, until it sold so everyone was doing the right thing for everyone involved, or as I call it walking the straight line. Is that so hard to do? For her to put her "prick" back in her pants until we move out? I see a double standard there. If it was the other way around, it would be "don't let the door hit you on the way out you ***hole of a man!"

Am I blameless in us falling apart? No. Never said I was. I fact, I will take more of the blame there, but it was pretty even for the most part. It really was very simple. Your typical "drifting apart" marriage. No abuse, no other women / men. We just lost touch with one another over the course of our 15 year marriage. It happens that way to a lot of couples.

Now, as far as what has happened since then, the only blame I would put on myself was wearing my emotions on my sleeve and telling her exactly how I felt about her. Other than that, I extended all my love and trust in her direction. That is the God's honest truth.

Quote:
Walk the straight line? Now you're moving into House God.


Morality in this situation was simple for me. There is right and there is wrong. Was I supposed to just forget about that for a while?

If you have a question or advice, please say it in a way that doesn't sound so rediculous. Please.
ossobuco
 
  1  
Reply Tue 28 Dec, 2010 10:51 pm
@ossobuco,
Ah, sorry, I can't answer the whole thing at once.
ossobuco
 
  1  
Reply Tue 28 Dec, 2010 10:53 pm
@ossobuco,
I do take it that you are equating yourself with Morality.
"Morality in this situation was simple for me. There is right and there is wrong. Was I supposed to just forget about that for a while?"

Nice try.
I could even be on your side, but your aggression is not convincing.
0 Replies
 
bdipti
 
  1  
Reply Mon 25 Feb, 2013 08:11 am
I ask permission to post my question here itself.
If a couple who have got married after one of the spouse has bought the house are divorcing, does the other spouse who hasnt contributed in buying the house and has got the responsibility of the children, has the legal right to take the house?
Ticomaya
 
  2  
Reply Fri 1 Mar, 2013 10:53 pm
@bdipti,
bdipti wrote:
If a couple who have got married after one of the spouse has bought the house are divorcing, does the other spouse who hasnt contributed in buying the house and has got the responsibility of the children, has the legal right to take the house?

It depends on the jurisdiction whee the divorce is occurring, naturally. In my state (Arizona), the non-contributing spouse will not have the legal right to take the house (even though he/she has the children). They may have the right to a fair division of the community's interest in a lien against the house, if the community's assets contributed to the purchase of the other spouse's separate asset, and the house increased in value. In other words, if the mortgage was getting paid during the time of the marriage, paying off the mortgage with community funds, the community has a lien against the home using a formula that looks at the increase in equity during the period of the community's contributions to the purchase.

But that does not allow the spouse to an ownership interest in the other spouse's separate property. Again, this analysis is based on Arizona community property law.
bdipti
 
  1  
Reply Sat 2 Mar, 2013 01:54 am
@Ticomaya,
thnk u
0 Replies
 
 

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