Many years ago and far away, I had a boyfriend who both raved for my body, and was distant, as in disappearing. Well, like, what's new, but it was all new to me (that was the first time I got a glimmer of that behavior, however ordinary). He was also very engaged in all our idea conversations.
We had an intense number of months.
He did try to tell me. He set it up, we walked on the beach, and we talked about homosexuality, which I was still stupid about. This was '71, early or late days. I mentioned the word deviant. And then I tried to explain I thought it meant off the norm. Even then, I did not connect that with with him.
He didn't manage to tell me, straight out, though we talked for a few years later, off and on.
A decade and slightly after that, we talked at more length.
Would I want this man raising children, hell, yes. He was for years head of emergency at a key hospital. But never mind that, one of the wisest people in my life.