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Mon 2 Dec, 2002 12:36 pm
A friend says women and men will give opposite answers to this question:
A person is torn between two lovers.
Both lovers love the person, but one of them does it absolutely, passionately, without conditions, while the other -while loving deeply- seems wailing at times.
The person loves them both (that's why s/he's torn), but is a little more prone to the wailing lover.
Who should the person choose? The more loved lover or the lover that loves the person the most?
I'd go for the one that loved me unconditionally.
The one who loved me the most
I meant passionately as devoutly, which would also mean more clinging.
One is devout, passionate and inconditional.
The other loves deeply, but seems wailing and puts conditions.
Definitely #1, unconditional love. No wailers for me.
I have never been able to understand the term "uncontitional love." But it is possible for one lover to leave more room for differences with little discomfort. So, it seems the choice should be easy. But apparently it's not, because you say the person loves the wailer more. Why is that?
The root of the question, as my friend and I discussed it, is in the last two sentences.
It's hypothetical, but it happens.
Perhaps there is more communication, or more fun, or a longer history with the wailing lover.
My friend says women will choose the man who loves them most, and that men will choose the woman they love the most.
Love is, I think always, conditional and the clingy types are not my type.
The one who's better in the sack, of course.
Tough question. I've been with one of those wailing types and I can say (unconditionally) that I don't like it! At this point in my life, I think I would lean towards the one who loves me most. But I'd have to think it over very carefully.
replying
I would always choose the one who loved me the most
I'd pick the one I loved the most, and this may be a fatal flaw on my part! But a given was that they both love me. And I would probably get irritated by the one who was clingy and that I already loved the least.
Why didn't I think of that!