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Calling someone 30x in an hour....obsessive?

 
 
Cycloptichorn
 
  2  
Reply Sun 10 Oct, 2010 01:31 pm
@niecydeecee,
niecydeecee wrote:

sandra35 wrote:

It is common in anxious people

Thank you for saying that. I am an anxious person and in confusing situations, I will rely purely on my emotions.....


Yeah, about that... I'm going to recommend that you don't do this in the future. It is the exact wrong thing to do and the source of issues such as this.

Cycloptichorn
0 Replies
 
chai2
 
  1  
Reply Sun 10 Oct, 2010 01:58 pm
@djjd62,
djjd62 wrote:

outside of work, i probably don't make 30 phone calls in one year


ditto.

well, except I do call my husband, or he me, usually once a day while at work. Just a quick "Hi" call that doesn't even last a minute. Some days not even that.

As someone else said, I think this is indicative of this instant gratification trend I see, even in a lot of adults.

What in the world is so important that you have to tell this person, this very instant?
roger
 
  1  
Reply Sun 10 Oct, 2010 03:03 pm
@chai2,
Maybe it's just to say "Hi", if only he would answer the phone. Maybe just calling to see if he's answering the phone today.
Lash
 
  1  
Reply Sun 10 Oct, 2010 04:02 pm
Appreciative that aiden, Chai and cyclo were kind to niecy. I think aiden was exactly on target - PLUS niecy's age leaves her a lot more vulnerable to scathing comments on facebook. Your status among many young people is defined by how you are talked about on facebook. She likely felt the comment very deeply - and felt she was desperately defending herself in front of her peers.

Niecy - the only worry I have is that you felt the need to defend yourself to such a degree. Try to believe that your worth isn't riding on the latest facebook comment. I have to truthfully say sometimes I experience a similar vexation (though REDUCED compared to yours!) over my fiance's comments - which I am currently doing the same mental work on that I suggest for you.

Good luck, sweety pie.
0 Replies
 
ossobuco
 
  1  
Reply Sun 10 Oct, 2010 04:24 pm
I was sharp to Niecy with my first two comments, but I see Aidan's points.

The distress that would "trigger" you to call 30 times in an hour is something that I agree with Lash about, re becoming more thoughtful about who you are and less agitated in response to comments. Some of us still have trouble with this kind of agitation - but life tells most of us that calling someone once every two minutes is not only unusually emotional in this kind of situation, but counterproductive. Emotion isn't all bad, I'm not saying that, and understanding one's emotions and learning to communicate about them is a good idea, if a work in progress for most, with people landing on different sides of the matter of expressing emotion, no matter their ages.
0 Replies
 
chai2
 
  1  
Reply Sun 10 Oct, 2010 08:04 pm
@roger,
roger wrote:

Maybe it's just to say "Hi", if only he would answer the phone. Maybe just calling to see if he's answering the phone today.


If he doesn't answer his phone, and the VM cuts in, mostly I don't even leave a message.
0 Replies
 
HexHammer
 
  0  
Reply Sun 10 Oct, 2010 08:13 pm
I don't agree with people who are understanding and try to back up such ill behaviour, that only make the situation worse ..guys! ..think!
CalamityJane
 
  1  
Reply Sun 10 Oct, 2010 08:32 pm
@HexHammer,
I so agree with Hex here! I do have a teenager at home and she never would
call someone 30 x within the hour, and she is not called to that extend either.
If she receives 5 calls within a short time period, my daughter will tell that person to not call back as she's busy and then she'll turn off her phone.

This behavior is NOT normal, it is not, and to tell needie she is within the normal range is false. How is she going to learn how to behave if she's told it's all right?

We all know better and know that this kind of behavior it is not right nor normal.
0 Replies
 
Lash
 
  2  
Reply Sun 10 Oct, 2010 10:18 pm
@HexHammer,
Wasn't trying to "back it up," ...just felt sorry for such condemnation on the kid.
0 Replies
 
HexHammer
 
  0  
Reply Mon 11 Oct, 2010 12:25 am
My critisism is especially pointed towards Aidan who seemingly lack situational awareness, of the seriousness of the topic, who just dismisses it as "normal" behaviour, which it isn't ..infact extremely abnormal behaviour.
Why he can't realize it, is very puzzeling to me.

What really strikes me is niecydeecee selective behaviour of only choosing appealing answers that fits her egocentric/narcisistic behaviour.

The blatant lack of rationallity in asking a question that should be selfexplanatory "Calling someone 30x in an hour....obsessive?", that just sends chills down my spine.
aidan
 
  2  
Reply Mon 11 Oct, 2010 01:59 am
@niecydeecee,
Or maybe you lack situational awareness. This girl explained it very well herself, below, where she states that she knows what she did is wrong, she was upset and not in a rational state of mind, and this wasn't, in fact, what she would have done normally.

Quote:
And that was where I was pulling my rationality from. I now know what I did was wrong and I was not in a rational frame of mind, but I had to realize that from taking a step back and hearing what others opinions are. It is truly apart of society to have your cellphone surgically attached to your hip and to answer it promptly but I was in a poor state of mind and am realizing that that was not my normal judgment....or an everyday occurrence.


Did I say what she did was right? No - in fact I wrote three or four paragraphs to try to explain to her how bothersome constant calls can be and how, in fact, there are people who deliberately DON'T answer their phone just as a matter of principle - me being one of them.

But would I call someone obsessive and paranoid because of the way they react once in a situation when they admit they were upset? No, I wouldn't.

I once threw and broke a kitchen chair and a tile floor because I was afraid my son was going to get in a car with a boy I could tell had been drinking and was planning to drive him to a party. My words, begging him not to go, to let me drive them, etc. were not working.
Okay, does that make me a 'violent' and 'destructive' person? I'd never done it before and I haven't done it since.
It was situational.

Give the girl a break - she's learned her lesson-she's admitted she was wrong. Or do you just want to go on and convince her she's mentally ill as well?

CalamityJane
 
  1  
Reply Mon 11 Oct, 2010 08:58 am
@HexHammer,
Hex,
aidan is female and the longer you read her, the more you'll form your own opinion of her. I am not surprised at her answer - not at all!
0 Replies
 
JPB
 
  1  
Reply Mon 11 Oct, 2010 09:50 am
@sandra35,
sandra35 wrote:

I think you were having a panic attack.It is common in anxious people.I myself does such things when gets worried.


I think this is spot on.

Quote:
It is normal.Don't worry.


No, it isn't. It's indicative of an anxiety disorder that can be helped with therapy and/or anti-anxiety meds.
HexHammer
 
  1  
Reply Mon 11 Oct, 2010 10:05 am
@aidan,
aidan, you need to read things closely, I did not say you claimed it was right or wrong ..but "normal".
niecydeecee
 
  1  
Reply Mon 11 Oct, 2010 12:14 pm
@HexHammer,
hexhammer wrote:

What really strikes me is niecydeecee selective behaviour of only choosing appealing answers that fits her egocentric/narcisistic behaviour.

Hex, I really do not appreciate your comments as you are not FULLY reading mine. I have admitted that I was wrong, I have admitted that I was not in a rational state of mind, I have admitted that this is not an everyday occurrence. If you were not the injured party, then that is all I need to admit to you. Your criticism of my "egocentric/narcissistic" behavior is not one that you can comment on because you do not know me outside of this discussion board. I chose to comment on the comments that were helpful and NOT judgmental and pure nonconstructive criticism. I am asking for feedback, not ridicule.
aidan
 
  1  
Reply Mon 11 Oct, 2010 12:30 pm
@HexHammer,
Okay, well then, I do think it's within normal limits of human behavior to 'on occasion' 'lose your rag' and do stuff you wouldn't otherwise do because you're upset.

Did she say she does this every day? Does it sound like she's stalking the guy? Did she accept his explanation for why he didn't answer the phone and move on?

Give me a break.

If everyone was always in control of their behavior there wouldn't be any fat people- there wouldn't be any drunk people- etc., etc.

Jesus Christ - she used a phone too many times one day...
Let's label her and call her abnormal and put her on meds...
Yeah - right.
electronicmail
 
  1  
Reply Mon 11 Oct, 2010 12:36 pm
@niecydeecee,
niecydeecee wrote:

hexhammer wrote:

What really strikes me is niecydeecee selective behaviour of only choosing appealing answers that fits her egocentric/narcisistic behaviour.

....criticism of my "egocentric/narcissistic" behavior is not one that you can comment on because you do not know me outside of this discussion board...

Read where it says "behavior"? "Behavior" is not the same thing as you as a person. Something is wrong with your reading if you take everything you read as directed at you personally.
0 Replies
 
electronicmail
 
  1  
Reply Mon 11 Oct, 2010 12:37 pm
@aidan,
aidan wrote:

Did she say she does this every day?

She did it right now. Again.
aidan
 
  1  
Reply Mon 11 Oct, 2010 12:46 pm
@electronicmail,
She did? She called someone thirty times in an hour again? And you know this how?
0 Replies
 
niecydeecee
 
  1  
Reply Mon 11 Oct, 2010 12:59 pm
@electronicmail,
electronicmail wrote:

She did it right now. Again.

Please show me where I said that I did it again because that, I assure you, was a typing error..... and when someone one points out MY behavior as "egotistical/narcissistic" and has other constant harsh words to say, eventually it is no longer subjective.
0 Replies
 
 

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