Reply Mon 18 Jan, 2016 12:53 am
Basically I took a survey online to test my paranoia and anxiety and it said I was paranoid but I don't trust online surveys. So I asked "myself what is the next best thing to do?". Somehow asking a bunch of strangers who might not even be professionals and are just kidding around with me seemed like the perfect solution to my problems. And now I'm asking you guys to tell me wether I have some mental problem or if I'm just a normal person.


Let me explain my situation:

I'm currently in high school.

I'm, in my opinion, overweight, my body shape causes me great discomfort and I spend my time thinking about which of my clothes will make me appear thinner, I've been trying to get my parent to take me to a gym for about a year now.

My parents are divorced.

I spend a great deal of time thinking about sex and imagining doing it with someone.

I get nervous around others and feel like everyone is watching me, judging my ever move and word, yet I'm very talkative.

I'm extremely blunt and rude but only because I say things without meaning to.

I spend most of the day day dreaming of a world in which I am attractive, talented, and powerful.

I feel like everyone around me hears my every thought and sees everyone of my fantasies. Like they are watching me even when I am not near them. Sometimes I am at home and I feel like I am at another place, sometimes a classroom, and everyone is watching the movements that I am doing when I think I am somewhere else.

Sometimes I stop daydreaming because I feel like I am doing the movements that I was imaging and that someone is watching me do it.

My motivation, or lack of, usually gets me in trouble, nothing gets me excited and I never feel like doing anything because I get not emotional reward from it.

Most of the time I feel detached from everyone else and i feel no attachment towards anyone, not even my family, sometimes the only thing I feel is anger and frustration.


I have this feeling of superiority over everyone, like no one is better than me.


When I was in fifth grade I always wore two layers of clothing because I thought everyone could see through the first one.

In third grade I thought my mom was trying to poison me for the longest time.


So I wonder, am I crazy or just a bratty little bitch, is this part of puberty, is this normal, am I normal?
 
roger
 
  1  
Reply Mon 18 Jan, 2016 12:56 am
@Heavydirtysoul ,
Heavydirtysoul wrote:

Basically I took a survey online to test my paranoia and anxiety and it said I was paranoid but I don't trust online surveys.


Aha!

I wouldn't worry about it, either, to be honest.
0 Replies
 
Blickers
 
  3  
Reply Mon 18 Jan, 2016 01:47 am
@Heavydirtysoul ,
I think you are beginning to suspect the answer, maybe you should see a counselor. If you are going through life completely disconnected from your surroundings and you can't really care about anything or anyone, there is something wrong.
0 Replies
 
FOUND SOUL
 
  2  
Reply Mon 18 Jan, 2016 02:35 am
@Heavydirtysoul ,
I think that you are finding your way and that is normal for a kid.

We find ourselves eventually.

What is with your Title name, how do you see that as the reason you chose it.

You may have "some" issues that you need to seek and find, I would suggest get some counselling to find yourself more.
0 Replies
 
Linkat
 
  5  
Reply Mon 18 Jan, 2016 09:07 am
@Heavydirtysoul ,
Quote:
Somehow asking a bunch of strangers who might not even be professionals and are just kidding around with me seemed like the perfect solution to my problems


This is the only comment that you made that makes you sound like you are not normal. All the rest of the stuff is normal teenager anxiety. Have you talked to a counselor - even for normal kids talking to a counselor can help with your anxiety. You could reach out to your guidance counselor at school if you feel your parents aren't being helpful for instance with a gym membership. Maybe there is something available at your school you are unaware of where you can participate in intermural sports or a fitness program if you want the ability to work out. If your parents are financially strapped many YMCAs provide discounted or free memberships for families in need.
dalehileman
 
  0  
Reply Mon 18 Jan, 2016 11:42 am
@Heavydirtysoul ,
Soul, you've described Young Me in detail.
With the possible exception, not suspecting Mom

Yet, somehow, here I am still
0 Replies
 
Linkat
 
  2  
Reply Mon 18 Jan, 2016 12:37 pm
@Linkat,
And if it helps I have two teenagers in the house so I see it first hand.

And some may not believe it -- but I was a teenager once as well.
0 Replies
 
StephenStevens
 
  1  
Reply Tue 19 Jan, 2016 05:04 am
@Heavydirtysoul ,
Perhaps you should start by visiting a doctor? As it seems, you are suffering from a mental disorder. This is something that can be controlled if you get the necessary assistance. Everything else would be speculation.
0 Replies
 
najmelliw
 
  1  
Reply Fri 22 Jan, 2016 03:52 pm
@Heavydirtysoul ,
In brief,

Heavydirtysoul wrote:

I spend a great deal of time thinking about sex and imagining doing it with someone.

I spend most of the day day dreaming of a world in which I am attractive, talented, and powerful.

I have this feeling of superiority over everyone, like no one is better than me.


These three points are pretty much par for the course for most teenagers, the first probably more discernibly so for boys rather than girls though.

Heavydirtysoul wrote:

My motivation, or lack of, usually gets me in trouble, nothing gets me excited and I never feel like doing anything because I get not emotional reward from it.

Most of the time I feel detached from everyone else and i feel no attachment towards anyone, not even my family, sometimes the only thing I feel is anger and frustration.


These aren't exactly uncommon either among adults and teens. It sounds as if you might suffer from depression to an extent.

Heavydirtysoul wrote:

I'm, in my opinion, overweight, my body shape causes me great discomfort and I spend my time thinking about which of my clothes will make me appear thinner, I've been trying to get my parent to take me to a gym for about a year now.

I get nervous around others and feel like everyone is watching me, judging my ever move and word, yet I'm very talkative.

I'm extremely blunt and rude but only because I say things without meaning to.

I feel like everyone around me hears my every thought and sees everyone of my fantasies. Like they are watching me even when I am not near them. Sometimes I am at home and I feel like I am at another place, sometimes a classroom, and everyone is watching the movements that I am doing when I think I am somewhere else.

Sometimes I stop daydreaming because I feel like I am doing the movements that I was imaging and that someone is watching me do it.

When I was in fifth grade I always wore two layers of clothing because I thought everyone could see through the first one.


What I get from the above, is that you are very self-conscious. You seem to define yourself by how you think you are perceived by those friends/students/classmates you interact with, and furthermore, you seem to think that they define you in negatives. It might be hard to believe, but most of these things that you seem to depict as black and white(mostly black though), are probably more nuanced and more of a grey area.

Body image issues are an, unfortunately enough, not all that uncommon issue in teenagers, especially girls.

None of the above is really out of the norm, I think.

Heavydirtysoul wrote:

Basically I took a survey online to test my paranoia and anxiety and it said I was paranoid but I don't trust online surveys. So I asked "myself what is the next best thing to do?". Somehow asking a bunch of strangers who might not even be professionals and are just kidding around with me seemed like the perfect solution to my problems. And now I'm asking you guys to tell me wether I have some mental problem or if I'm just a normal person.

In third grade I thought my mom was trying to poison me for the longest time.

So all that's left is what you said in your opening paragraph, which seems to suggest trust issues or paranoia. It's probably partly tied in to being quite sensitive to the opinion of others about yourself though.

I'm assuming you got over the 'my mom is poisoning me' bit. So I wouldn't worry about that. Kids have the strangest theories, and mothers have the strangest theories on what is healthy for their children as well. For instance, cod-liver oil. Brimming with all sorts of vitamins and minerals and lots and lots of yuckiness to boot, and I had to eat it a lot.

Heavydirtysoul wrote:

So I wonder, am I crazy or just a bratty little bitch, is this part of puberty, is this normal, am I normal?


All in all, you sounds like a (highly) intelligent girl (also given your use of language and grammar, and I give you credits for a witty opening line). You seem aware of some issues you have, which can be either a good or a bad thing. It sounds like it's more of a bad thing, if it causes you to obsess over it. You also seem to suffer from depression, Discussing these things with a counselor or a therapist could be helpful, if this feeling is problematic enough. At the very least, they could give you a different perspective, or some new insights.

0 Replies
 
cicerone imposter
 
  1  
Reply Fri 22 Jan, 2016 04:01 pm
@Heavydirtysoul ,
You're experiencing a lot of hormonal stuff that all teenagers experience. The fact of the matter is, your great discomforts about your body shape is more common than you think for both boys and girls. You'll outgrow most of your paranoia and anxiety with age.
0 Replies
 
 

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