Fighting

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When I was a little Roberta, I got into a lot of fights. Physical fights. When you combine a hair-trigger temper with no patience, you get a little girl who just hurls herself at whoever pisses her off.

My mother was distressed at my fighting and tried to get me to stop. My father figured I wasn't gonna stop (he was right) and gave me lessons in self defense. I paid attention, but in the heat of the moment, I remembered nothing he taught me.

I'm sure I must have been hurt. Don't remember that at all. What I remember is the glorious satisfaction I got from hauling off and taking a whack at somebody who pissed me off.

I haven't hit anybody in ages. I'm grown up. I'm a civilized, socialized human being. Last week I was discussing being a grown up with someone. I said that I like being a grown up (mostly) but I would really like to hit somebody. I miss that kind of immediate satisfaction. I received a strange look in response.

My fighting days are over. Sigh. Big sigh.

Why was fighting so damned satisfying?

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Type: Discussion • Score: 9 • Views: 4,659 • Replies: 54

@Roberta,

it's only satisfying when you win...

waking up on the pavement is no fun.

I bet you fight like a girl...

Shocked

1 Reply

@Roberta,

Immediate feedback!

Plus the actual physical release of it.

I never really fought (the qualifier because I came close several times and I was ready) so I don't miss it. But I do enjoy opportunities to be confrontational if the cause is right. As in, I only like it if it's justified. But if it's justified, it's fun.

For example, I just joined a new gym. They have personal trainers who hardsell the heck out of you. I pity the fool who targeted me. He was relentless, and I really let him have it. (I was polite and controlled the whole time mind you, but I stood up to him in a way that clearly surprised him, and figuratively ground him under my heel.) That was awesome.

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@Roberta,

Dunno, 'boita. This is one question I can't answer with any degree of empathy as I've always hated getting into fights. Had my share of them as a kid but it was always initiated by the opponents. Today, should someone come at me, I'm quite capable of responding in kind (trained by the military and working in the juvenile justice system in Massachusetts, plus experience) but I can't even imagine a situation where I'd throw the first punch. (But I might goad someone into striking first, hee-hee. Smile

)

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@Rockhead,

Never woke up on the pavement. Don't remember being hurt. I probably did fight like a girl. Hell, I was a girl. But I did get into fights with boys. I remember I got into a fight with an older boy. A total stranger. In retrospect I think he was uncomfortable about fighting with a girl. Especially a littler girl. He kept telling me what he was gonna do. "I'm gonna pull your hair!" Go ahead you joik. It feels good. I think he left after a few of my kicks got perilously close to where he didn't want to be kicked.

Just remembered a recent incident that was almost like a fight. I had to have the staples removed from my head after I had brain surgery. The doctor annoyed me. She was hurting me. She wasn't talking much. She seemed out of it. Hey, doctor. You drilled a hole in my head and stapled my scalp! Try being human.

Then she had to check my reflexes. Push pull. Resist pressure. Then she told me to push her back. Okey dokey. I knocked her down! Still smiling. Mr. Green

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@Roberta,

Ha! There ya go.

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@sozobe,

soz, Yes the physical release. I'm generally not confrontational. Don't like arguing. Maybe I was spoiled by fighting. It might be that I get so angry I can't think straight. Not sure.

Andy, I have to admit that I probably initiated most of the fights I was in. Good thing you weren't around. And good thing for me you're all the way in Hawaii now. I can be easily goaded, but I'm no longer able to put up much of a fight (aside from the occasional doctor).

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@Roberta,

As a child, I excelled in playing baseball, basketball, volleyball, tennis, tumbling, and soccer. I never played football. I could swim but was not a whiz. My school coach said I should try boxing, which I didn't want to do. But he insisted so I tried a bout. Within five minutes I was crying because I hate being hit in the face and never did it again.

Now, as I relive that episode, I think boxing made me cry because my hateful mother used to beat me. Hitting or being hit was no fun for me.

BBB

1 Reply

You scare me Raboida . . .

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@BumbleBeeBoogie,

BBB, Boxing is too regulated and organized. Too many damned rules. No kicking allowed. No biting. What kind of a fight is that?

My mother beat me all the time. Maybe I liked the chance to be the hitter instead of the hittee.

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@Setanta,

Who moi? I scare big bad you? Baloney.

That Roy Orbison can sing. Thanks for the music, set.

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@Roberta,

Roberta wrote:

BBB, Boxing is too regulated and organized. Too many damned rules. No kicking allowed. No biting. What kind of a fight is that?

My mother beat me all the time. Maybe I liked the chance to be the hitter instead of the hittee.

Say, you and BBB might have hit on something. I was never ever hit as a child by either parent. (Okay, my dad did give me a spanking once, I've forgotten what for, and I was absolutely shocked.) That might explain why I had no need to try and take it out on anyone else. Good insights.

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I was having dinner with Roberta one time in Manhattan at some Italian restaurant and I stepped outside for a smoke. Roberta followed me out also for a smoke. As usual I tried to make small but polite conversation like "you've really turned into a fat pig Boida, too much pasta" and she hauled off and punched me in the ribs HARD so I had no choice but to kick her in the shins. I was laying on the sidewalk trying to breath when the waiter came out mad as hell because he thought we were skipping out on the bill. apparently something Boida is known for. Anyway had it not been for the waiter Boida would've pummeled me to near death before going back inside for dessert. And then she stuck me with the bill. I've never forgotten that, left a big gash in my Stetson.

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@Merry Andrew,

Does that lead to verbal fighting instead of physical fighting? I wonder.

BBB

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Mr. Lexia: I haven't picked up a check in years. I sure as hell am not gonna start with you. And the stetson got what it deserved.

Interesting observation, Andy. I wouldn't be surprised that there's a connection. Certainly striking out in anger was a way of life.

1 Reply

@Roberta,

Roberta wrote:

My mother beat me all the time. Maybe I liked the chance to be the hitter instead of the hittee.

Makes sense. My sister used to beat the crap outta me. Mostly because she was pissed off at the world and I was an easy and available target (she was supposed to be "watching" me). That continued until I finally took her and told her she'd better watch her back 'cuz I'd find a way to get even. It felt good to not get pushed around for once and to be able to stand up for myself.

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@BumbleBeeBoogie,

BumbleBeeBoogie wrote:

Does that lead to verbal fighting instead of physical fighting? I wonder.

BBB

Not really. I tend to back off early on if I see there's no chance of convincing the opponent of the rightness of my position. You may have noticed that on A2k. I'll never argue just for the sake of winning an argument. If I get all het up and adamant in the course of an argument, it's because I fervently believe in my position. I'd never argue for the sake of arguing. Basically, I don't like to waste time on something as meaningless as a particular pro or con point of view.

Come to think of it, that may be also why I don't care for physical confrontations. They're a waste of time. The time spent scrapping could be used for some useful purpose.

1 Reply

@Roberta,

Quote:

Mr. Lexia: I haven't picked up a check in years. I sure as hell am not gonna start with you. And the stetson got what it deserved.

the proof's in the pudding, Roberta is an elitist, snob, kicker and a biter. Stetsons are sacred (and expensive) you're a bitch woman from hell you are.

1 Reply

@dyslexia,

Why thank you. Someone who appreciates the real me. Not like that fallen nun you're shacked up with who thinks I'm sweet. Feh pooh.

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@Merry Andrew,

It appears that you are unique among A2Kers. Congratulations for your good sense.

BBB

0 Replies

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