Once I thought I was a listener

Additional communication may or may not result in less work; it depends on the kind of world the parties inhabit.

Chumly
Your third suggestion is probably the most realistic and viable for me, although I'd have to substitute the subject matter with something in which I am versed. The first two wouldn't work, because she tends not to like it if I'm 'noodling' with anything while she's talking.

snood wrote:

Chumly
Your third suggestion is probably the most realistic and viable for me, although I'd have to substitute the subject matter with something in which I am versed. The first two wouldn't work, because she tends not to like it if I'm 'noodling' with anything while she's talking.

Makes sense! So if you choose something that has been puzzling you for some time (but needs to be figured out at some point anyway) it really looks like you are focusing hard on what she is telling you.

My wife speaks at great length, telling her stories circularly and going over them in great detail, often three times at a telling. A day or more later she might be triggered in repeating some story in the same fashion. There were times in the past this annoyed me. But, I know it helps her to go through all that and so I patiently listen and comment appropriately. I learned patience when I was very young and few expectations were met. I can outwait anybody.

My experience comparing long vs. short, or what I consider thorough vs. getting to "a" point, is that the 2nd way is far less efficient.


I'll say "I'm going to Walgreens to get hydrogen perioxide, witch hazel and band aids. Then I'm going to Pet Smart to get cat litter. Then I'm going to yoga at Westgate (Central Market is right next to the yoga place). Do you need anything?"

He'll reply "Get some of that fur ball malt and a loaf of rosemary sourdough bread"

Me: "do you need anything from Walgreens, or anywhere else?"

Him: "uh....oh yeah. rembrandt toothpaste"

Me: "anything else?"

Him: Isn't Central Market next to that book store? See if they have that new mystery novel I want.


********

Man's conversation....

"I'm going out." That, in his mind, is the entire point.

Me: (knowing that means he's going to buy something) Where you goin'?

Him: Walgreens

Me: Could you pick up x,y,z?


Then, 2 hours later, he comes back with bags from not just Walgreens, but stuff from Pet Smart, but no cat litter, which we're now out of, items from the book store that's right next to Central Market, (I would have asked him to buy this other book I've wanted), and within 1/2 an hour of coming home he says "we're out of bread"

Yes, thanks for getting to the point. Your conciseness means a whole 'nother drive around town for guess who.