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Mon 24 Nov, 2003 06:20 pm
Alright, here's the sitch,
My husband doesn't want to be deprived of his orgasmic pleasures while I'm on well uhm...YOU KNOW...and I really don't want to deprive him, so you know what's gotta be done right? RIGHT (if you don't know, i'm talking about the oral thing). Well, I'm totally with that and when I'm not on my period really, it's not a problem, but while I'm running the red race I just can't seem to feel sexual/sexy at ALL. If we're not engaging in intercourse, and subsequently I'm giving an oral performance, I have to be feeling some kinda sexy (personally) to do so. What do you do to make yourself feel sexy if
1. you can't touch yourself into sexiness (b/c you're on the menstrual)
2. you can't f*ck yourself into sexiness (b/c you're on the menstrual)
Now, I'm sexy - dn't get me wrong - but sometimes (during my monthly is what i'm talking about) I just don't feel it. Usually, wearing Vickie's or Frederick's solves the problem (who wouldn't feel sexy in that?) but the whole monthly thing cuts that option out, so I need some women, especially the ones that are married, to tell me if this is something you go through and how do you combat it?
I really want some answers, because I'm tired of looking at him with the "damn, I'm not getting any head" look when I'm on my monthly.
for anyone who cares: sorry for being so blunt
for the others: sorry for not being blunt enough lol
is this the most you guys've seem me write or what?
Nothing to offer but empathy. From my man's viewpoint, if I'm not in the mood, it is next to impossible to perform. Anyway, a forced performance just wouldn't be up to standard and I don't like to do shoddy work.
Sorry for the lack of suggestions.
Quickies:
IMO, you have no obligation to be sexy during a period in which you do not feel like it.
But your desire to satisfy your partner's needs is something I think is nice of you.
Frankly, said needs are really easily satisfied so why not go for a functional favor instead of trying to conjure feelings you don't have?
thanks roger
craven: by functional favor, i assume you mean, kinda going through with the motions? but I just can't seem to even want to do that when I'm not 'feeling it' you know? besides...that would sort of be unfair, because I wouldn't be putting my whole heart (mouth? lol) into the action...i'm kinda stuck between a rock and a hard place i guess...no pun intended
showers, bath tubs and hot tubs are marvy.
I agree that feeling the fire would help. I just think that perfunctory sex between consenting adults has its place as well.
My only "stoke the fire" suggestion is to make sure any physical comfort issues are dealt with (e.g. if you take "the monthlies" medicine do so) and blindfold both yourself and your husband.
Denying vision stimulates imagination, perhaps this will help as I have seen it help is other situations that needed some stoking of the fire.
Onyxelle, my first thought is to wonder why you don't feel sexy during your period. Other than about a 4 - 6 hour window of agony, it's one of the times of the month that I'm keenest on sex. I know that in my immediate circle of female friends, the majority feel the same way. (Amazing what we talk about.) I always thought that was the norm.
well...i don't have the headaches, and i don't have the other period related aches and pains (thank God), so it's not that i'm not feeling well - and I want to do (no, really lol I do) i just don't feel sexy enough to do so...maybe I'll try the bath thing - although normally it hasn't worked...maybe bath & blindfold....
Whew, finally people who have actually had sex show up! Me 'n roger were holding down the fort for you.
well, i guess the main reason i don't feel sexy is because i'm not getting any on my period...and frankly, personally, I don't care to. *shrug* but I don't mind giving...but more often than not, my mood, while i'm on my period ehbeth, is not one condusive to giving him oral sex, and i just wonder if there's a way to change that.
if you dont mind, how come you're keenest on it at that time of the month?
Quote:The Quran has emphatically prohibited sexual intercourse during menstruation:
"Abstain (sexually) from women during menstruation." - 2/222
ALLAH (Rabbul-Izzat), the Creator of man, knows best what is beneficial and what is harmful to man. All objects of harm have been forbidden for man because they will cause him difficulty and hardship. Sexual intercourse during menstruation falls into this category.
Today, many centuries later, medical science has discovered that the flow of menstruation contains certain toxic matters that could be detrimental if they gain entry into the body of the male or is prevented a clear passage of flow from the body of the female-both of which could easily occour if sexual intercourse takes place during intercourse. It would thus pose a potential threat to both husband and wife. This very act is a major contributing factor towards very painful and often fatal veneral diseases. In fact, it's effect is passed on even to the foetus.
Do people really believe this???
Craven, hee hee!
Hmmm...
I'm trying to figure out if this is a physical thing or a mental thing. Like, "yuck" is not a very sexy thought, or if it is just that hormones are wacky.
The bath idea is good. Shower, especially.
i don't know pifka, but that's not my issue.....it just sounds uhm...'gross' (for lack of a more expressive and less juvenile word)...to me. it prohibits certain pleasures, for me, that I get to do when we have intercourse....
Just saw your latest, onyxelle.
Than get some! If your man objects, tell him it's a two-way street.
soz: it's definitely not yuck - i don't feel that giving him this specific thing is yucky - quite the opp.
Oh that wasnt the latest after all (you're fast!).
If we're talking about a few days out of the month, can't you go vanilla for a little while? As better than nothing?
No, that's not what I meant, it was about if you feel that the "monthlies" are yucky.
I mean of course they are to some extent, but...
am i confusing anybody? the intercourse while i'm on my period is not something I desire to have. what I'm looking for is the 'sexy' feeling that will make me want to do the oral thing for him while I'm on my monthly.
oops, sorry - i wandered off to ivillage to do some reading on this. there doesn't seem to be any medical reason to not have sex, of whatever sort, during your period.
Onyxelle, I don't really know why I feel particularly keen right then - I always thought it had to do with the hormones that must be jumping around in a particularly lively way. I'm going off to read some more. Soooo, I'm keen just before, during, just after, in between. OHMYGAWD, I'm a freak!
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