Subject: King Arthur's Dilemma
Young King Arthur was ambushed and imprisoned by the monarch of a neighboring kingdom. The monarch could have killed him but was moved by Arthur's youth and ideals. So, the monarch offered him his freedom, as long as he could answer a very difficult question. Arthur would have a year to figure out the answer and, if after a year, he still had no answer, he would be put to death.
The question?...What do women really want?
Such a question would perplex even the most knowledgeable man, and to young Arthur, it seemed an impossible query. But, since it was better than death, he accepted the monarch's proposition to have an answer by year's end.
He returned to his kingdom and began to poll everyone: the princess, the priests, the wise men and even the court jester. He spoke with everyone, but no one could give him a satisfactory answer.
Many people advised him to consult the old witch, for only she would have the answer.
But the price would be high; as the witch was famous throughout the kingdom for the exorbitant prices she charged.
The last day of the year arrived and Arthur had no choice but to talk to the witch. She agreed to answer the question, but he would have to agree to her price first.
The old witch wanted to marry Sir Lancelot, the most noble of the Knights of the Round Table and Arthur's closest friend!
Young Arthur was horrified. The witch was hunchbacked and hideous, had only one tooth, smelled like sewage, made obscene noises, etc. He had never encountered such a repugnant creature in all his life.
He refused to force his friend to marry her and endure such a terrible burden; but Lancelot, learning of the proposal, spoke with Arthur.
Lancelot said nothing was too big of a sacrifice compared to Arthur's life and the preservation of the Round Table.
Hence, a wedding was proclaimed and the witch answered Arthur's question thus:
What a woman really wants, she answered....is to be in charge of her own life.
Everyone in the kingdom instantly knew that the witch had uttered a great truth and that Arthur's life would be spared.
And so it was, the neighboring monarch granted Arthur his freedom and Lancelot and the witch had a wonderful wedding.
The honeymoon hour approached and Lancelot, steeling himself for a horrific experience, entered the bedroom. But, what a sight awaited him. The most beautiful woman he had ever seen lay before him on the bed. The astounded Lancelot asked what had happened
The beauty replied that since he had been so kind to her when she appeared as a witch, she would henceforth, be her horrible deformed self only half the time and the beautiful maiden the other half.
Which would he prefer? Beautiful during the day....or night?
Lancelot pondered the predicament. During the day, a beautiful woman to show off to his friends, but at night, in the privacy of his castle, an old witch? Or, would he prefer having a hideous witch during the day, but by night, a beautiful woman for him to enjoy wondrous intimate moments?
What would YOU do?
What Lancelot chose is below.
BUT....make YOUR choice before you scroll down below.
Noble Lancelot said that he would allow HER to make the choice herself.
Upon hearing this, she announced that she would be beautiful all the time because he had respected her enough to let her be in charge of her own life
Now....what is the moral to this story?
The moral is.....
If you don't let a woman have her own way....
Things are going to get ugly!
God must love stupid people he made SO many!!!
@Quija,
Which took serious intelligence. Had you been in charge we would all be Einsteins I suppose.
A wealth manager at Bank of America told the Houston Chronicle that he was fired by the bank over an omelet dispute at Denny's in 1998. But Paul Boudwin isn't letting this go over easy. He's suing the banking giant, reports the paper.
The bank's background check in July 2011 of Boudwin, a Houston-based rising star headed for a big bonus at BofA, revealed an apparent conviction for skipping out on a restaurant check in college. The find disqualified him from his job, the bank told him, according to the Chronicle. (h/t Consumerist)
Only Boudwin, 35, says the incident was a misunderstanding with a friend, in which one assumed that the other had paid the $20 tab. Officers arrested the two but the charges were dismissed, he explained in the article.
Friends on his Facebook page voiced support for Boudwin, with one commenting, "As you know, the process has more chances of being a marathon than a sprint. If you haven't done it already, release it emotionally and let your lawyers do the heavy lifting."
When public distrust of banks soared amid the financial crisis, institutions imposed tougher standards in 2011 that enabled them to remove employees with prior convictions for mortgage fraud and other sensitive crimes. But banks are going beyond that to protect themselves from big fines, reported USA Today.
The tough new policies claimed Yolanda Quesada, a Wells Fargo customer service rep who was canned earlier this year for a 40-year-old shoplifting offense. And a Des Moines employee of the bank was let go in August because he used a cardboard cutout of a dime in a coin-operated washing machine. In 1963.
Now Boudwin says he's the latest victim. He provided BofA with proof of his case's dismissal and the bank even initiated an appeal so the FDIC would allow him to keep working while it investigated, the Chronicle said of the suit. But the FDIC's response took so long that the bank eventually fired him. When the FDIC came through with a work waiver weeks later, Boudwin claimed BofA did not offer him his job back. The bank told him he could reapply for his job -- but without backpay, bonus and seniority. The bank declined comment to the paper.
For the record, Boudwin and his pal paid the $20 omelet tab plus a fine for their once-alleged dine-and-dash, the Chronicle wrote. It is BofA, the paper said, "that has egg on its face."
LONDON (AP) — His career is in ruins and now an effigy of Lance Armstrong is about to go up in smoke.
The disgraced American cyclist has been chosen as the latest celebrity to be burned in effigy during an English town's nationally famous Bonfire Night celebrations.
Edenbridge in southeast England has built a 30-foot (9-meter) model of Armstrong, who was stripped recently of his seven Tour de France titles for doping offenses.
The effigy, to be burnt Saturday, sports a sign saying "For sale, racing bike, no longer required."
Towns across Britain light bonfires and set off fireworks on Nov. 5 to commemorate Guy Fawkes' failed plot in 1605 to blow up Parliament.
The bonfires are traditionally topped with an effigy of Fawkes but have been decorated with contemporary figures over recent years.
Previous Edenbridge effigies include comedian Russell Brand and soccer star Wayne Rooney.
@edgarblythe,
Cheezburger has a whole blog devoted to this sort of thing Ed, called 'There I fixed it'
http://failblog.cheezburger.com/thereifixedit
@Reyn,
How do you know that's really Korean? It might be Mandarin and they be messing with you.
@edgarblythe,
What do I know? I'm a dummy.
@Reyn,
You ain't no dummy. You just went to the wrong school. It is valuable to know elephant language.
Here's what I want for Christmas or by this Saturday. You pick.
http://www.slate.com/blogs/behold/2012/10/29/julius_neubronner_and_the_amazing_world_of_pigeon_photography.html?wpisrc=obnetwork
Joe(Yes. Both. What the hell would I do with just one or the other?)Nation
@edgarblythe,
One of the guys in my neighborhood tried lashing a Super 8 Movie camera to a kite in August of 1965. He did some test runs with the camera off flying the kite about 30 feet off the ground. Then he got his brother to tape down the ON button and let the kite go.....really cool.
Got that sucker up over 200 feet in a couple of seconds and the camera was fully secured.
Great.
Until the kite broke loose and waddled through the air onto the top of a big oak tree at the corner of Valley Street and Newman. (06040)
It was a long walk back to his house where he had to explain where exactly his dad's camera was.
That was late August.
I left for Boston, for school, and never really ever came back.
My brother told me that the kid told Mr. Ferguson, whose tree it was, to watch for the camera to come down and let him know, but that it stayed up there through the Winter and the Spring, by then it was just tangled up in the branches, the kite having long before lost it's paper and long ragtail.
I just called my brother and asked him what ever happened to that camera?
Joe(he said "What? What are you talking about?")Nation
That's the way with shared memories. One or the other has it wrong.
@edgarblythe,
It might be me.
Joe(that was a tough time)Nation
A Chinese man divorced his wife and then sued her. Why? She gave birth to what he called an extremely ugly baby.
A DNA test proved that the baby was his. His wife confessed that before they met, she had undergone about $100,000 worth of cosmetic surgery in South Korea.
Feng sued his ex-wife on the grounds of false pretenses, for not telling him about the plastic surgery and duping him into thinking she was beautiful, The Huffington Post reported.
The kicker? He won. A judge agreed with Feng's argument and ordered his ex-wife to fork over $120,000.
"I married my wife out of love, but as soon as we had our first daughter, we began having marital issues," he told the Irish Times. "Our daughter was incredibly ugly, to the point where it horrified me."
